To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

Yes of course a 15 minute shower should be ok. I think you pay enough rent. That said, there are 6 of you so perhaps the finances are stretched. How is the water heated? Could it be more economically done. It would irritate the hell out of me too but I think you're going to have to speed up and also start saving for somewhere to call your own.

I have waist length curly hair, and hairy legs that need shaving every other day, so I take a 15/20 min shower however I only shower every other day or every three days as I’m don’t get bo unless I’ve been running a marathon (and won’t be again as I’ve recently become disabled 😟)

Anyway depending on your body hair and hair on your head, you can easily take a 15 min shower to deal with the extra work it creates.

Remember your thoughts on your mum, op.

It might take a decade or more, but one day you might see that your mum hasn't had quite the choices you think she has. Some of us don't get the chance to tell our mums when we finally understand.

A house share right now would cost you considerably more and will come with even more discussions and restrictions because of budgets, bills and fairness.

Perhaps you have tonnes of difficult hair like I do, so some showers need to be long ones. The rest should be cut right down to compensate.

No YANBU. I wash my hair every day and the quickest I can shower in is 8 minutes - and thats me really rushing & trying to be quick. Sometimes I like to have a leisurely shower too.

DD has super thick long hair and takes 20 minutes minimum as thats how long it takes when she has to wash & condition her hair (& I know this is true as I used to wash it when she was little in the bath).

DS has a minimum of 2 showers day and each is never less than 10 minutes. That is good as it used to be double that easily.

You are more than paying for your 15 minute showers each day for £100 a week. I charge DS rent as he is working full time and he has to pay £150 a month - your parents are getting a good deal out of you.

While the parents might make more money with a lodger, they'd also be sharing their house with a stranger. It's not reasonable to put their own dd on the same footing.
I wouldn't want a stranger living in my house, around my dc, potentially bringing back people I didn't know, using my kitchen and bathroom. And a lodger will expect to shower for as long as they see fit - they might be like my dd who is in there for 30 minutes at a time!

If a shower costs £1 for 15 minutes, she's more than covering the cost by paying £100 pw. 7 dinners and some cereal at breakfast doesn't cost what she is paying, and I doubt she's using loads of electricity if she's at work all day and eating lunch out.

Apologies
I wrote my comment re your mother before I read your apology on that aspect of your original post.

Our teens easily spend that long in the shower on occasion and I encourage them to shower daily. They don't pay housekeeping money either and they never will at my request. I would much rather they save/enjoy having no responsibilities for as long as they can. It will be hard enough for them when they do fly the nest.

They are more aware of the cost of energy though after the past couple of years-we are not super high earners-and to be fair to them, they have reigned in some of their more flippant energy use.

The thing is OP, all this being said, in your house those are the rules you have to live by and YABU thinking you can challenge that. If you don't like it, you will have to move out.

I take about the same amount of time as you OP - I'm surprised it's deemed excessive by some.

If I were you, I'd keep the peace by either paying a little more or cutting down your shower to about 10 minutes. If there's a queue in the mornings for the bathroom, it might be worth agreeing set timings.

It also causes excessive condensation and potentially mould. 5 minutes is all you need and I wash my hair every day.

I am shocked that so many of you charge your kids so much to live at home 😱. We aren't well off and I'm a big believer in charging board but no way would I charge that much.
I would cut your showers down to 10 minutes though OP. More for the environment than anything else. I can't loiter in a shower though, I'm in and out in under 5 mins.

I can be in and out the shower and fully washed scrubbed and rinsed within 2 minutes.

We have a good flow in our bathroom. When I was growing up the shower was utterly useless. You could probably run it for about an hour and it would fill an egg cup.

So it's hard to say. If you have a bath shower, shove the plug in and see how much water you use. Then you can possibly calculate cost.

I love a long luxurious shower. But it is frivolous. Still I'll only ever fill about half a bath. My Mum has a full bath every day. That's her daily ritual, meditation and perk.

Cost it and pay for it. If you are bleeding the boiler, blocking the bathroom and/or making it miserable for others, that's another story.

I know you've taken this on board op, so that's fab, but I'm really surprised that you've got to 23 without a clue of the costs involved in running a house. Your first post detailed - should £100 a week get me a 15 minute shower? Well, yes, it would alone, but it seems your £100 covers all charges. So..
£50 per person per week would cover food plus household things like toilet roll.
So, you're paying £50 a week for everything else.
My mortgage is £250 a week, council tax £70, electric £30, gas £30, water £10, insurances £10 - that's £400 a week already and I haven't included another half a dozen things. So, your£50 goes no where near covering your cost of living there.
If their rules are 15 minutes, then abide by them, or move out.

This was my costs when I left home after paying £70 a week.

Rent for a 1 bed flat: £600 per month
Electric £140 a month
Gas £90 per month
Water £80 a month
Council tax £80 per month
Internet £40 per month

That's £1030 a month not including groceries or my mobile. IF you can afford that then go ahead and move out but if you want to be saving money then stay and have shorter showers or shower away from home OR offer money per extra shower

You see, this is why I wouldn't charge my kids rent. Although I understand that others don't have the financial leeway I do. But I couldn't be doing with this level of whining. You are either falling into the pattern of the family home or, you leave and are untethered from the obligation. This half way house where you feel entitled to swan around ignoring the rhythm and constraints of your particular family's life for the paltry sum of £14/day would drive me crazy.

Move out, you will pay minimum £100 a week rent, then you will have to pay for gas, electric, council tax, water rates, phone bill, TV licence, food, internet and whatever else on top. Or you could suck it up and think £100 is not too bad a deal.

Extremely excessive. I take 5 mins as do most people. Massive waste of water and energy otherwise.

You sound so entitled and arrogant. At 23, I’d bought my first house on a lower salary than that. My mortgage, council tax, electric, gas, tv license, phone bill, water bill and food shop cost significantly more than £100 per week. Perhaps if you feel so hard done by, you can look to see how far £100 per week will get you living elsewhere (not very much!) or how much you’ll have left in disposable income after paying all of the above if you lived independently as an adult, then compare to your current disposable income whilst your parents struggle

It’s your parents home, not yours. Your parents could ask their adult child to leave, stand on their own two feet and save money by you not being there but they don’t, they ask you to respect other in your family

Whilst googling the above, do the same with average shower length and you’ll see your still probably nearly double the average

i tink 15 minutes is fine

you got to love mumsnet some threas are agast that anyone would charge thheir dc rent wilst most on this one thinks its a bargain and you shold be paying more

There's five other people living there.

I think £2,400 per month, if everyone was paying the same, could well cover everything.

I don't think yabu op.

As I mentioned in another post. Get a heat exchanger on your shower waste. To warm incoming water to your boiler or the cold tap. If you insist on long showers. It will in part mitigate all that energy and money you are literally just throwing down the plug hole.

I feel for OPs mum. She probably thought that by the time her eldest was 23 her life would be easier but it sounds like she’s still doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, budgeting and general running of the household that includes pointing out to her eldest that 15 minute showers in a household of 6 people are not on.

i recognise that is an assumption. But anyone who comes on Mumsnet and whines that they can’t have a 15 minute shower in a household of 6 with only one bathroom despite paying money towards their keep, but without mentioning doing their share of the cleaning, laundry, shopping and cooking probably isn’t doing any of those things.

You earn thousands of pounds more than many people who manage to rent their own place and pay their own bills. I can think of two family members off the top of my head who are a similar age to you and earn a similar amount. They both flatshare with a friend; pay all their own bills, etc.

I don’t think 15 mins in the shower is overly excessive but I do think your parents are likely irritated at having an adult at home unnecessarily and that irritation has focussed on the showering.

Move out and spread your wings.

15 minutes every day! That's a lot of water. I'm a six minute kinda gal from turning it on to turning it off.

I think it's fine to shower every day, but I'd be concerned about wastage. My DH had a 20 minute shower recently and I admit I got really annoyed at him for using so much water 😆

Did you type with your toes?

£400 a month for rent, most meals prepared, cooked, and served up, Wi-Fi, Netflix (?), gas, electricity, water, council tax, laundry (?), etc. is an absolute bargain and I would happily swap with you. Offer your parents an extra £2 when you want the occasional long shower at a non busy time. A manky room in a shared house will cost you £600 a month plus bills, so you’re probably paying about half of what you would pay in the real world.