To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

^^ this.
I suggest if you don’t like it then you look for somewhere else to live at £400/month. Good luck!

All these posters saying £400 pcm is too little, a steal etc.

She's living in her family home. Most parents aren't trying to profit from their DC while they are in training / studying, as OP is - they just want a reasonable contribution. And OP's contribution is reasonable.

Policing an adult's shower time, is not.

All those calling OP entitled: get a grip. OP hasn't indicated any entitlement, apart from one unfortunate comment, which she apologised for.

Staggering sense of entitlement. Half an hour for a shower!!!!! Even 15 mins is way OTT.
Wait until you are responsible for paying water rates and see how quick you can shower then

It's as If people have different lives and different opportunities. You can't compare your life to op or anyone else's as you don't know her and what's she's been through is going through. Just like my username people have different starts in life and that effects their future and their choices. Life is not a competition and if you think because you did certain things by a certain age others should to then your very ignorant to the real world

Is it a cost issue or a 'we have 1 shower and everyone needs to use it' issue? That would potentially be the bigger issue I think.

🤦🏻‍♀️

A 'staggering' sense of entitlement. Really.

I pay my own water bills and have longer showers then that

I wonder if the way you have phrased your post has possibly sent things off in a slightly unexpected direction - like how long should a shower be and should a SAHM find work.

As a parent in a slightly similar position to your parents, I wonder if your post was more about appreciation and fairness? It sounds like you are trying to weigh up how to think about your family situation in comparison with your peers - some of whom maybe paying nothing and some a token contribution (please search this site for the many posts which show very divided beliefs about 'charging' adult children for their keep)

Then there is your contribution to your family household which may feel substantial if not so long ago you were not in a position to make a contribution at all and you were accepted as part of the family. To have your parent make a comment about your shower may feel like you are somehow seen as different to how you were before? Or you may think by contributing to the family income your parents would be finding things a bit easier... I am not sure.

Your parents may be struggling much more than you realise financially and although its very helpful to have you at home and earning so you can contribute, this may coincide with their costs going up. I am sorry you getting out there and working hasn't seemed as celebrated in your family as you might have hoped. Could you talk to your parents about the financial position and ask how they are managing? Perhaps they don't realise how you have taken the shower comment so you can all be a bit more in sync. If you could reduce the shower time to show them that you get that prices are rising and reassure them you will do as much as you can to help out/be mindful of the pressures. If your siblings are older - its not unreasonable for you to wonder if your mother could consider getting work outside the home but I think you have to weigh up the likely impact of you suggesting that and the impact on the family dynamics overall.

Wanting to shower daily is not at all unreasonable but it's completely unnecessary to spend 15 minutes in there. Even if you have long hair to shampoo twice, rinse twice, condition and rinse again, you shouldn't need 15 minutes.

Half an hour is completely unreasonable and a complete waste of water. That's probably like running two or three baths. The shower isn't somewhere you go to hang out and relax. Get in, wash, get out.

It’s to long and op I’m not sure how old you are but those £100 a week won’t pay much in the real world . Between electricity , gas , rent or mortgage and food I’m sure they are still topping you up . You can always move out if you are working and maybe share a house with friends

If your siblings are a lot younger then you might also consider pricing up what your parents' childcare costs would have been had your mother gone out to work.

I see you have taken the advice on board but please do some research about how much rent, home insurance, travel to work, council tax, utilities, food etc costs rather than just your phone, netflix, gym, spotify etc or whatever fun outgoings you pay for. It will perhaps not only open your eyes but make you appreciate your parents more.

Of course it's the OPs bloody home.Your family home doesn't stop being your home when you reach a certain age. I sincerely hope some of you don't have kids.

I wash my hair daily and 2 shampoos, a conditioner and showering takes 4 minutes tops. 15 minutes is excessive.

This

This!

You have three choices:

• Continue paying £100pw for accommodation, half-board meals cooked for you, council tax, electricity, gas, water, TV, WiFi, a housekeeping service (presume your mum does the majority of cleaning and tidying up in the house if she is a SAHM). In return you agree to cut down the time you spend in the shower.

• Offer to pay a bit more per week, maybe £120pw to cover the cost of longer showers and keep your parents happy.

• Move out to a houseshare, pay a considerable amount more in rent and bills, pay for all the food and household products yourself, cook your own dinner, clean and maintain your own house.

If there are 4 kids and 2patents…. All taking 30 minute showers ….. that’s the shower on for three hours per day, think about it like that.

https://www.sust-it.net/electric-showers.php

I think your long shower could cost up to £1 in electricity - whether there is an extra cost in water depends if your parents are on a meter. You could ask if a 15 minute shower will be OK if you pay an extra £1 each day on your keep - but it doesn't solve the problem of whether people are waiting to use the bathroom. If your long shower is so important to you then it is reasonable that you pay the £30 a month that it costs?

I think you need to re-examine the idea that £100 each week is "I am paying a lot".

Our council tax is £150 each month (if you lived alone you pay 75% of this),
Our gas and electric is £200
Water about £50
Groceries/toiletries for 4 £800 plus
If your parents keep a car and run you around that will cost a minimum (averaged) or £50 each month for insurance/road tax and maintenance before they put a drop of fuel in it or anything towards its purchase or replacement.
If your parents provide a TV licence, broadband, sky, netflix, disney plus, amazon prime you can also add those.
....and that is all, of course, before we touch on any rent or mortgage that they have to pay to live in the property or any property maintenance.

15 minutes to shower? What are you doing that takes so long? YABU

Assuming you're not a man, because they do seem to take longer ...
10 minutes to shower, including hair washing and squooshing the shower afterwards with shower cleaner, is probably about right. It takes both of us about that time each. If doing your legs or pits, or cutting your nails, then possibly 15 mins..
I'd be either paying another £25 a week so £500 a month which is cheap (I was paying £400 a month 20 years ago to my parents) or hurrying up so you're only in there for 5-10 mins. If you want a longer shower, have it when they're out...

When young, OP, I was being abused mostly by my late father for using the bathroom and similar.
The best thing for you is to move out to live a dignified life as an adult and not pander to "rules" of people who chose to bring you to this world.
🙂

I love a long shower too, but I can be in and out in 5 minutes. That your parents are raising this with you means that they see it as an issue. I personally would try to respect that.

I personally didn’t recognise the sacrifice my parents made for me until I became a parent.

Your parents are very kindly allowing you to continue to live with them. This is something they know will benefit you.

I would also like to add how much your Mum contributes. She looks after four children and a home! That is a choice for you and your siblings.

I wash my hair at the same time as having a shower (but every other day for both). I also shave my legs and anything else that needs shaving 🤣 In total I spend about 20/25 minutes in the shower and don’t feel bad about it at all, however we can afford to run the hot water necessary for this. If your parents are struggling then they have every right to ask you to cut back. £100 contribution per week is also not very much if you consider the total cost of all bills for a family of six. It probably doesn’t even cover the food shop, let alone any other bill. You would never be able to live independently for £400 per month and you must know this.

Those saying you shouldn't police an adults shower time...

Surely it completely depends?!?

Everyone with an en suite? Of course not, unless finances don't allow long showers.

But everyone using one bathroom to get ready for work or school at 7.30am, then of course someone can't be in the shower with the door locked for half an hour.

I think £100 a week is quite generous

15 mins seems excessive

Why won't your dm work