To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

I'd be offering £120 a week to cover showers.

With long hair I spend a good 15 mins in the shower on a day that I wash my hair and shave my legs. However, that’s only once every 4 days. The other days it’s a few minutes. 15-30 mins daily is excessive, and unfortunately £100 these days doesn’t get you very much.

Exactly.

People shouldn’t be attacking the OP without the facts. It’a possible the ‘children’ are all older teens/young adults and OP and other dc are expected to cook and clean. In that scenario, the mum could work.

These same people attacking OP will be on the next thread attacking a woman for daring to charge her dc rent.

You can’t win on MN.

15 mins in the shower is fine. It's a good amount of time to get clean, conditioned, shave your legs etc and then a few minutes to just be and destress.

Could you compromise? So maybe try not washing hair every other day if that’s what’s taking the time? Or just aim for nearer ten minutes. If there are lots of you living there and only one bathroom that probably isn’t helping!

Do you pay for your own food etc? If not you are getting an absolute steal so I wouldn’t be rocking the boat.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children

If everyone in the house felt like the OP, that’s 90 minutes of hot water a day.

What are you earning? £100 a week won't go far and 15mins is way too long

You are not being very nice about your mum who is probably very worried about paying the bills

Why don't your other siblings pay rent? How old are you all? How do you afford it - what's your income etc?

I understand the frustration with your mother's career choice but it is hers and she is within her rights, to not work. I have never thought the children of sahm would ever resent them for it but I think this is what is triggering a lot of negative comments.

15 minutes actually showering is a long time, but I think if you are the only child paying rent you are bound to feel hard done by, especially if you feel it's just you and your father contributing while the rest of your family including your mother doesn't

I think the problem here is the feelings towards your mothers career choice and how that is impacting on the family - in your understanding and how as you are getting older you are losing respect for her as you feel you financially input more and should therefore have more say

Crass thing to say when you don’t know OP’s age.

Well done for oiling on though.

@DillDanding
iving the life while he can!

@tryinghere

how old are you?

what sort of percentage of your income is £100 per week?

with the cost of living, £100 per week doesn't actually go that far, unfortunately.

having said that though...

my god daughter sometimes lives with me, I've never charged her board because I wanted her to be able to save her wages towards travel. But my work circumstances have changed & if she comes to live here again I might. I'd need to see how much her being here was actually changing my bills first though, but to be honest I'm sure £100 would amply cover it.

As it's causing friction (& moving out would cost you a LOT more) I'd keep the showers as short as you can & maybe just enjoy a 15 minute one once a week.

i have long hair (I can sit on it) and I was it every second day) plus after an accident I do some exercises in the shower (the heat helps) and I need to generally take care in the shower and I'd say 15 minutes is about how long I'm in there, so without all that I'd say 25 minutes is a bit of luxury.

if the rest of the family are being really fast & skipping showers, your regime probably feels like a bit of a puss take to them, even though it's not really.

fir the same if harmony, try to cut it down

Is it purely the cost or the time you are in the bathroom? How old are you?

Not to mention it taking an hour and a half for everyone to get their 15 minutes of fame water. I am not including drying time.

If there is only one bathroom this is not possible, I suggest the family draw up a rota, so a different person everyday gets first dibs in the shower and the others rotate their places as well. So twice a week the OP will be an acceptable first or second, but by the same token they will be fifth and sixth on two other days, and third and fourth on two more. They can do a lucky dip for the seventh day.

The parents housing costs of rent/mortgage/council tax would be the same whether the OP lived there or not, so I don't think that should be factored into what it costs the parents for her to live at home.
So if £100 per week is to cover utilities usage and food, I think it's a reasonable amount. Parents shouldn't be making money out of their kids and she isn't the same as a lodger!

I think 15 mins is okay if it's an electric shower and not using everything in the tank when other people also need to get ready. Certainly showering every day is normal and it's not reasonable if the parents expect her not to do this while also expecting a £100 per week contribution.

15 mins is ages!

I can wash, wash & condition hair, shave and rinse within 6 minutes (and I did actually time myself as I was proving to my 15yo daughter that her showers didn't need to take so long 😆)

It's simple, get in, shampoo hair, condition hair. Leave conditioner in whilst washing and shaving, rinse out conditioner....job done!

Is there more than one bathroom in the house?

sorry but this made me laugh. Like students these days know that song, its totally targeted to gen x/ elder
millenials for whom the green washing and virtue signalling of short showers is a marketing pathway. Not saying youre swept away by this but its not a consideration for a lot of people, especially they young ones who think bon jovi is the dad of the guy marrying millie bobby brown.

some people love/need to relax with a warm shower and 15 minutes is not that long for a girl with long hair, or who shaves her legs for example. 15 minutes at 1 bar pressure or with an electric pump would be very different to 15 minutes at 5 bar or with a power shower too. What im saying is theres no moral virtue associated with shorter showers. Any way off to listen to some bon jovi

DH and i manage to shower in under 10min at the most. The teenagers of this household seem to be more like 20min or more! I have pointed out they could turn the water off while they are shampooing hair, shaving etc, but seems to fall on deaf ears.
Round here 100 a week wouldn't get you far…Work out how much your showers are costing and offer to pay a bit more if moving out isnt an option.

That’s ridiculous. You’re not doing her any favours in the long term.

To answer some of the questions.

I am 23, I don't earn very much 24k which is why I'm studying and living at home.
We do have a separate toilet so nobody is waiting outside.
I get an evening meal but I buy lunch at work.

I don't think I'm better than my mum and I take back that comment, I just meant that it doesn't help that one parent working means we have less money, I do respect my parents I just wondered if they were being fair.
Some of my friends live at home and pay way less, I just wanted opinions.
If I sound ungrateful, I am apologise I am really not.

I don’t think 15 minutes is excessive in the shower. £100 a week should cover that, imo. £5200 pa to live at home seems a bit steep but it does depend what’s included.

I wouldn’t expect my offspring to contribute to fixed household costs, only variable ones.

I find it odd to see so many people saying that £100 a week is not enough for an adult child to pay their parents. I have seen loads of posts on other threads where people say that young adults should not be charged any rent.
I think £100 a week is a reasonable amount to pay.

Why doesn't your mother work?

£100 is a decent amount to pay for living at home. I'd be annoyed to be contributing that much while another adult sat on their arse all day.

Adults should shower every day, especially if you're going out and working full time! Perhaps your mother doesn't realise this as she doesn't work.

I think it's inconsiderate to spend so long in the shower. I am not the fastest showerer in the world yet I usually spend around 5 minutes in there. I could cut down if needed.

A 30 minute shower is crossing the line!

If you're on 24k and only paying £400 a month, it sounds like you have a good deal. There are people running households on that wage.

I know it's frustrating but I honestly wouldn't rock the boat. I would either offer to increase your contributions to cover the extra shower or compromise on say 10 minutes.

I live at home and to be honest I've never had showers longer than 10 minutes regularly, for 15 minutes you must be doing the full package. Hair wash, scrubbing, shaving, maybe a hair mask too.

I spend 15-20 mins in the shower everytime I was my hair (3 times a week).

wash face with cleaner
wash hair twice
condition hair and then comb the conditioner through
wash body
rinse hair and body off

theres no way I can do this in less time without compromising on hygiene.

i wouldn’t be happy with a sink wash in between, its disgusting for a full grown adult to not have a proper shower everyday.

i do think you’re paying for more than your fair share.

13 years ago I was paying £200 a month at home and showers were never monitored and my mum was the most frugal person I knew at the time