To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

This

Crack and move out and find out how
much it costs you to run your own house. 15 minutes in the shower is 10 minutes too much. You are being extremely unreasonable. Your parents are obviously really struggling financially and you are worried about how long you can spend in the shower. Stop being an entitled brat.

Contribution not continuation

just take a 10 minute shower every day instead to meet them in the middle . You pay 100 pw for god sake.
your parents telling you to shower every other day is unreasonable when you work all day .
do they actually time your showers ?.
you pay enough I don’t think it’s right parents charging there kids towards rent/mortgage as they would be paying that anyway . Utilities and food charge for that but not the actual rent or mortgage . So the £400 you pay per month will cover what you use . I would start saving to move out . You’re an adult and paying your way but treated liked a child still .

And then I think of the mums post partum who try to enter the shower for 2 to 3 minutes while the baby is sleeping. Oh no. That will be 30 seconds with yellings in the background...

She is behaving like a child...

This.

Welcome to mumsnet OP, where everyone:

• changes their sheets at least twice a week
• a small roast chicken feeds 4 people for a dinner, two lunches and a soup
• is either struggling to make ends meet on 200k a year OR takes home £38.47 a week and looks after their 5 children as a single parent just fine and can't believe the fuss you just need to not buy coffee at soft play
• and apparently only shower for 3 - 6 minutes because other countries have less water than us

My showers are 10 minutes for quick, non hair washing ones. 15 - 20 minutes when I wash my hair. If that helps. I think the length of your showers probably isn't new so is it only a problem now you're working and paying keep? How long do your siblings shower for?

You don't know that OP's mum is sitting on her arse all day. The likelihood is that she is busy cooking, shopping, cleaning and washing for the other five people in the house, including OP.

Where could you get full board and lodging including having your food cooked and your washing done for £100 a week?

Yep.

24k isn't an insignificant amount, especially when you are living at home and only pay £400 a month housekeep.
If all 6 of you had a 15min shower everyday, that's 10.5hrs a week. That's a lot of water and heating needed!

Presumably they're not telling you can't shower everyday, but you can't take 15mins. If you need to shave, fill up the sink and do it before you get in.

OP I’ve been an entitled 23 year old who lived at home & loved long showers so I’m not in a position to judge. Practically there were differences in that my parents were fairly well off and weren’t making sacrifices such as not taking daily showers.

As a mother of young kids I find your comments & the many in support you’ve revived incredibility upsetting.
Im currently considering my career options so that my kids don’t have go to afterschool every day. If they turned around in 15 years and accused me of “not contributing” quite frankly I think I’d ask them to leave which I’d be more than entitled to do given my parental obligations to support them as a child would have ended.

I can only assume comments such as your mother not contributing and sitting on her arse (with three younger kids how clueless) are from the under 25s who’d only have a clue. I can only hope my kids don’t turn out so entitled.

In your OP your refer to “we” having to make sacrifices, there is no “we”. You are not part of the “we”, it’s your parents house who works etc is down to them to decide. I can assure you your parents made many sacrifices for you.

Don’t like it, don’t think you are getting a good deal - move out.

As I said I’ve been an entitled 23 year old and to some extent I think it’s past of growing up and figuring out life for some. However, even on my most entitled day I never thought of the household finances as “we” or would have judged my mother for not working. My parents were always very firm on boundaries - they the parents were a team, their house, their rules.

If you are running the water for that long, I would say you ABVU. Even with exfoliation, hair washing and rubbing hard skin off my feet, I rarely run water for five minutes. I wet, turn water off while soaping, then rinse.

Thank you. I have been wondering how to say this.

I would say move out. My mum was always moaning about my showers when I moved back in during my twenties for a year! It was unbearable considering I would only have two a week and would turn the shower off between hair shampooing and conditioning and shaving etc I literally couldn’t go faster without smelling and looking like a rat.

Being able to shower when you want is so freeing! Showers don’t cost half as much as your parents say they do!

I don’t think there’s a connection between what you pay to live at home and how long you spend in the shower. There will be others wanting to shower too, probably at similar times to you. I take about 3 mins, or 4 if I wash my hair.

15 minutes?!?! What do you actually do for 15 minutes?? Genuine question.

I think you should get up earlier if you want your 15 mins, so that you’re not in the way of others.

Or take shorter showers.

You are being entitled- £100 a week would not even get you a room in a shared house, so unless you want to pay to move out and have whatever length showers you want, you have to suck it up. That’s life

It probably costs around £5 a week for your showers. You could offer to pay extra? But environmentally it is such a waste . I'd try to halve it

I'd love to hear your parent's side of this, I bet the shower piss take is the tip of the iceberg.

By 23 I was married, paying a mortgage and was a mother myself.
Stop relying on other people and then moaning about them, grow up and support yourself then.

You could compromise and take 15min showers once or twice a week and 5 min showers on the other days? 15 minutes every day isn’t great for your skin anyway if the water is hot. I use a shower cap every other day and can be in and out in 3 mins when long, wet, hair isn’t involved. It makes the drying afterwards much easier too.

The parents 'lifestyle choices' are to divide earning and childcare between the two of them - both things are necessary and important. Do you all think that mum is doing nothing all day? Perhaps the parents think it's important to have a parent at home for the kids. Or childcare was too expensive or didn't work logistically for them.
Kids are not deprived if they have a sahp - they might sometimes have less 'stuff' but they do gain undivided attention and time from a parent who doesn't also have to balance work. I'm not saying sah is always better but it isn't always worse either - parents generally make the best choices they can with the information/circumstances available to them at the time. If adult kids disagree with the choices made. that's fine - they can do it differently when it's their turn to run a household and raise children!

OP clearly did okay from her upbringing, since she has a decent job and parents who are willing to house her and help her while she studies. She said herself that her mum does a lot for her. I do disagree with mum's stance on the shower length, but people do have their little foibles or things they are convinced are wrong, for whatever reason. Remember, she is a product of her upbringing too.

I guess you live at home too, and don't respect your mother either, hey!

15 minutes.. wow! That must cost so much on water and gas 🤯

15 mins+ for me. No point in rushing these things. Hot water up full throttle , well as hot as i can tolerate.

My wife moans i get a shower each day and for so long. Sometimes twice a day if i feel cold lol