To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

I don't care how long any of my family members take in the shower, my teenager spends an age in it but I'm just grateful they're having a shower. I spend a while in it too because hey I've got to shave at times right!? My partners the same. Sometimes I take 5 minutes sometimes I take 30 minutes I don't really keep track of the time. If it's cold outside il spend ages rotating like a rotisserie chicken to keep warmer for longer.

But on the other hand of that. £400 Is nothing. You can't even rent a studio flat for that amount these days. You choose to live with your parents, you have to abide by their rules. Sorry but that's true if you don't like it you could always enter the real world and find out how far that £400 a month will take you.

I think the point is op's parents are making sacrifices while op isn't, this shows she has no idea of how the family are stretched, it's a cost of living crisis and they're not alone feeling the financial pinch at the moment and are asking her to cut back on shower time, presumably if she's 23 she's not just started taking long showers last week so it's not a choice they've likely wanted to ask of her, they are obviously trying to make some cut backs
as are a lot of families at the moment.
Op is being unreasonable by not respecting this.

I find it weird people saying how much more it would cost to rent a room elsewhere. People renting out rooms are doing it to make money - so that rate is obviously more than what it actually costs.

I think telling you to take less than 15 mins to shower because of the cost is a bit petty personally. Their objection to the 15 min showers would be fair if you were using the shower at the same kind of time every one else wanted to so they were waiting, but from your subsequent posts this doesn’t seem to be the case.

That said, you also say that they treat you well generally and their financial situation isn’t great. It would be rude and ungrateful of you to just spend 15 mins in the shower regardless. Could you come to a compromise eg pay some extra each week to cover 15 min showers. Or offer to buy the evening meal for the family one or two evenings?

£100 a week for full board and lodging is not paying a lot. Think about it, you could pay that much for just one night in a fairly low-range hotel.

No-one needs to spend 15 minutes in the shower unless they are exceptionally grubby.

What on earth are you doing in there for 30 minutes? Aren't you bored to death?

You are being very unreasonable.
Six people live in that family.
If everyone took 15 to 30 min long showers it would be shower running hour and a half to three hours each day.
Appart from the price of that,how would you schedule it?

If everyone in a family is respectful and tries to lower bills and be considerate of bathroom use, so can you.
Or you can move out as an adult and sleep in a shower if you want.

@tryinghere how can you be so disrespectful to your mother. Her staying at home to look after the family/home is her sacrificing for you all, the way she and your father decide to do things is up to them and if you don't like it you really need to get out in the real world and learn a few lessons about life. And yes, 15 minutes is extremely unnecessary. If you think £100 per week is a lot then you are so wrong.

My 5 year old loves long showers and baths. She’ll usually have a bath before bed and a shower before school, but will spend 30-45 mins in either which is fine by me. However, as a mum I’ve perfected my timing with showering, it takes me around 2-3 minutes for a quick shower- this includes washing my hair
and body at super speed. If I want to shave too it’ll take around 10 minutes.

That's a completely different narrative, was he timing you because you both couldn't afford to pay all the bills and you were taking excessively long? We're you equal paying partners living together? We're there other behaviours that you described besides the shower?

In this instance, parents allowing adult daughter to live with them for a tiny cost per week, they can't afford much and we are in a cost of living crisis and they're asking her to live as the rest of them are and not take the mick in the shower. Not controlling at all, very reasonable and she's got it very good for £400 per month.

Her parents also have it good, receiving £433 a month in return for some food and hot water when they could be receiving nothing for an empty room. How would they pay for everyone else's showers then?

I’m genuinely shocked by some of these comments!!!
No, 15 minutes is NOT too long, regardless of how much you pay! ‘What are you doing in there?’ ‘Why so long?’

Letting the hot water run over their body on a frosty morning whilst taking deep breaths and psyching themselves up to face the day ahead….
Washing, shampoo, condition, body scrub, shaving - no way could I shower in 15 minutes ffs.
Enjoying 15 minutes to themselves as they have work all day, live in a busy house with younger siblings and just need some processing time…
Who cares! It’s 15 minutes! The way some of these people are commenting you’d think they live in Africa or a barren desert where water is scarce!

Also, I don’t think you should take back what you said about your mum either. You didn’t say anything rude at all, merely pointed out the facts:
Shes worried about money but doesn’t work
She has 4 kids
Shes using your rent money to support the family instead of getting a job and contributing herself, even if just part time.

I personally think £100 per week is a lot given your salary too but 🤷🏼‍♀️

You said your mum is lovely so I’d probably just have a chat about expectations. If you’re at work all day or hot and sweaty etc then you NEED to shower, but not every shower needs to be a pamper shower. Maybe on gym days you could just pack a toiletries bag so you’ve got your products with you and then you can take a couple of pamper showers there instead.

Hope you get it sorted but please be assured, you do not sound entitled or rude at all. Having read your comments and responses, you’re clearly quite the opposite so please ignore the shower police 🤣

Oh my goodness. Clearly no idea if the cost of living for starters and no awareness or consideration of others. Plus " standing your ground" or arguing back when told by your parents, the home owners you are taking advantage. You are on to a very good thing and being very selfish. 5 minutes in the shower (with a hair wash for long hair) and increase the rent you give them, plus be nicer to your parents in general.

I have genuinely no idea how people do it. I decided to time myself this morning. I jumped in, washed my face, soaked my hair through then washed it. I then rinsed it and put a bit of conditioner on the ends. While that was on, I did the body wash and body brush on my back. I then rinsed off and rinsed my hair. 9 and a half minutes and I felt so frantic and rushed, I needed another shower to relax and calm down. I’m sticking with my 15/20 minute shower thanks, no way would I feel clean with less.

How are people so scandalized by a 15 minute shower 😂 I regularly do that. How would you shave your legs, pits and bits and wash hair and body in 5?! 15 minutes is not that long.

15 mins for a shower is too long 5 mins is plenty of time, affinity water say 3 mins is sufficient. So your probably using all the hot water in that time so others can't shower, least not it hot water. Also £100 is not alot at all, it won't even cover the bare minimum of household bills and food you use, you certainly wouldn't find even a room in a shard HMO round my way for that. Maybe you should move out, then you can shower for as long as you want etc

Four minutes was the time, set by an egg timer, when I was one of five kids and also when I had all my kids at home. During drought it was two minutes for a few months.
You can easily have a thorough wash in four minutes and it is better for the planet's resources..
If I want to pamper myself I will have a bath for longer, use less water and relax. I do this once per week and I warn people that I am going to be a long time in the bathroom.

You have to respect your parents' rules as they own the house, and also the freedoms of others with whom you live. It must be tiresome for the others to wait so long every day.
Are the long showers indicative of an entitled attitude?
Ask yourself if you are behaving in a loving and humble way towards your family.

DS spends this long in the shower, then doesn’t open a window or turn on the fan. My bathroom is becoming mouldy as a consequence. Is this happening?

You do sound very young-how old are you?

You keep saying “£100” like it’s a lot…so £400-£500 a month is not that much , if renting thatd be extremely cheap. How old are your siblings? Is there some resentment you pay and they don’t?

But seriously 15 mins in the shower?? 🤯 What the actual hell are you doing in there??

It sounds frustrating to be getting flak for wanting a decent shower. But here's the thing: if you're paying your share, you should get to shower however long you want, within reason. Maybe have a sit-down with your folks and explain your perspective. Compromise is key, right? They might not realize how important it is for you.

I was you when I lived with my parents. Thought it horribly unfair when my poor dad limited my daily shower to 20 minutes a day. Did I not get a shock when I moved out and then saw my electricity bill.

Long showers however are a habit I cannot break. I take them once a week but the rest of the week I either nip in and out and do every other day. Before having DC I got a cheap membership at a gym just to have long showers.

However your parents are unfortunately correct. Shorten your showers down although you should be able to shower daily (just faster!).

Young adults are living at home longer now. Rent has increased in line with cost of living. I don't think judgement should be passed on the mum being a SAHP. It's not the point of the post. When I was at university I paid more than this poster for my room. I didn't get food on top.

I think the poster should ask for a breakdown for costs food/fuel etc a week. I bet they would be shocked at how much it all costs. They are certainly not making a profit or subsidising the household costs.

If long showers are important to you can you ask her what financial recompense would cover them? If you’ve got a meter you might be able to measure before and after and calculate the approx cost. Or shower somewhere else (work, or the gym, say).

If it is more an issue of you hogging the actual shower and spending a long time in the bathroom than the cost of the hot water, then I think you do need to be more considerate as someone living in a house where you do not have your own bathroom. And save up so you can move out!

OP, you do sound ungrateful, and it's incredibly entitled of you to be saying that you think your mum should work so that you can have a longer shower.

Your mum is looking after children. That's a difficult and full on job.

You are an adult - if you don't like it then move out. 15 minutes in the shower is excessive.

Two grand a month at 23,is a decent wage. How on earth are people having 30 minute bath or shower! We have an emersion heater,there would not be enough hot water. Surely a bath doesn't stay hot for that time. Does the mum do all her washing, ironing,lifts anywhere,etc. as for these ridiculously long hot water sessions, I am under a dermatologist, she said it's really bad for your skin,ruins the natural mantle.

One day you'll get to decide how to run your home economically within your means.
Until then you live by someone else's means and paying a continuation towards what you use does not entitle you to take the piss and then stand your ground with the bill payers.