To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

Why would you moisturise while there's still water running over you? I couldn't be doing with all that faff.

I see overnight posters have upped the ante to keep the MN froth being generated. We’re not clean unless we’ve stripped a layer of skin off in the shower? Bringing race, culture and immigration into the conversation? Come on.

OP lives in a household of 6. With one bathroom and one main income earner. It is perfectly reasonable on the grounds of timing, access to the shower for others in the house, and yes cost, to ask a member of that household to not have showers lasting 15 to 30 minutes.

Paying towards your keep, however much that is, does not entitle you to special privileges, otherwise we’ll be back towards the “man of the house” getting the meat and the first bath of the day and everyone else in a pecking order getting the crumbs.

OP has specified their contribution to the house being financial. We know OP doesn’t do any cooking as they said their meals are provided. OP hasn’t said whether they even clean their own room or do their own laundry, let alone any other basic contributions to the household like doing the dishes or running the hoover round or cleaning the blessed shower. If OP still acts like a child of the house and not an adult, then OP should expect to be treated like a child and obey the house rules.

Glad youre taking it on board Op.
If I have an everything shower it wouldn't take me more than 10min I don't think. Shave legs, hair wash, etc. Do your 15min showers involve a lot of just standing around? It does baffle me

How old are you?

If you're 19, then fair enough. But if you're 25, it's definitely time to go. £400 a month won't get you very far. That would be a room in a house somewhere, or maybe a VERY small flat in some parts of the country (but not very many!) And then there's food, bills, living expenses on top of that.

At the cost of shortening your showers a bit more, just to keep the peace, I'd suggest you're onto a winner.

My mum was a single parent. When I left school I did a catering course and got a work placement at a local restaurant I got £29.50 a week which went up to £35 at 17. When I finished the course at 18 I got taken on part time. I was paying my mum £10 a week at college but because I had a job she told me with 2 working in the house the council tax had gone up and I had to give her more rent out of my £70 I earned. This was back in the 90's.

Well that was true for you, but there is no saying OP has expensive wi fi or SKY movies.
If her parents are restricting her shower time, I doubt they are forking out for those.
Has OP said where in the country she lives?
You are quoting rent prices where you are, hers may be a lot cheaper, (or more expensive, granted.)

I never leave the conditioner on. I don’t think it makes any difference. Just smooth it on and rinse off. Also exfoliation is a matter of choice. If you don’t do it doesn’t mean you’re not clean.

@Fruitystones

Don't have that sort of time in morning if working

More like 5-10 mins, don't do hair everyday.

I wash with shower puff, body wash and soap. Feel very clean

I always double shampoo and exfoliate once a week

Conditioning every day, that can't be good for hair.

And her parents also need to check what her living there is actually costing them. Id be surprised if it was the full 100

I’d be astounded if it wasn’t. Especially if it includes food.

@mydogisthebest

My shower takes about 2 seconds to get to temperature (and I have it pretty hot).

I don't save every day and very much doubt most people do. I don't use a scrub on my face every day and most times I do I use the sink rather than the shower.

I shampoo my hair as soon as I get in the shower and rinse it off. I then put conditioner on which I leave while I am washing. I don't condition every day as my hair does not need it

Cool. But we're not taking about you. You pondered how anyone took more than a couple of minutes. I explained how.
It's not really relevant that your hair doesn't need conditioning or that you scrub your face in the basin. It's what people who take longer than a couple of minutes are doing s you said you couldn't fathom what people who took longer did.
The things I do may not be things you do but even you would have to concede there is nothing weird about what I do. Just different from you

It is excessive. What on gods earth are you doing in there for fifteen minutes. A shower takes around five minutes. If you want thirty minute showers I really do think you need to wait until you have your own place, it is still a waste of water.

You're selfish, your parents don't have a lot of money and have other children. 15mins is to long and 30mins is a joke.
8/10mins for a shower and cream.

If its none of OPs business whether her DM chose to have those children then i take it if (God forbid) something happened to her parents the OP wouldnt be expected to take them on. After all if its nothing to do with her........😐

What exactly are you doing in there for that long op?

Are you just standing under the water letting it run down the drain because you thought 30 then 15 minutes was average? If so you are incredibly wasteful.

Didn't atomic kitten do some kind of campaign to get people to take shorter showers, and soap & glory?

How you could get to early 20s and think wasting all that electricity and hot water is fine is beyond me.

I do realise that some people take longer in the shower because they condition their hair every day or just because they have long hair (mine is pretty short) although I thought most people don't wash their hair every day although I do.

I just can't see how a shower can take as long as 15 minutes and some posters are even saying they are in there for 30 minutes or even longer. Unless they are just standing in some sort of daydream with the water running over them I can't see how washing their hair and body can possibly take that long unless they do it in slow motion.

Obviously lots of posters don't care about the waste of water and energy. They are probably the same posters that do at least one wash every day and only wear clothes once before washing them.

Oh Jesus. That is not how we go through life. Obviously, in business as usual life, it’s no one else’s business how many kids you have or how you choose to manage your household. But when the shit hits the fan, and something awful happens, it isn’t business as usual. That’s when you step up. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, “They made the choice to have kids and now they’re dead so… nothing to do with me. Someone else can help.”

It’s just idiotic to try and compare the situations and makes you look stupid.

Im just pointing out that the "none of your business" trope can and does backfire.

Not just this thread, but the trend all over mumsnet is that it's none of a women's business what her parents do, but it's everyone's business what the women does when caring roles are imposed upon her.

@NameChangedAgainn · Today 09:54

Timed myself in the shower this morning, out of curiosity - 16 minutes, disregarding the three minutes for it to warm up, which I spent brushing my teeth and hair.

I got in, thoroughly wet my hair, shampood and massaged my scalp, rinsed the shampoo and out, conditioned and combed my hair, clipped my hair up, exfoliated my body, washed my body, rinsed the conditioner out, moisturised my body with a shower oil bar, shaved my underarms, washed my face.

By 5 minutes into the shower, I was only just rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. Unless people have very thin/short hair or just aren't washing it, I can't imagine how anyone gets clean in 5 minutes or less.

What is wrong with your shower? You need to get an electrician in. A typical shower should take about 15-20 seconds to 'heat up the water.' It's virtually instantaneous in most cases. 3 minutes to heat up the water? WTF?

Also, the amount of stuff you do in the shower is totally OTT. You moisturise your body while the water is pouring over you?! What the ???

Claiming 16 minutes is a normal amount of time for a shower is a new level of batshit. 👀

All this scrubbing and constant exfoliating is very bad for the skin actually.

You are the eldest and at 23 are an adult. 24k isn't that much- what does it work out at after tax per month OP?

However, if you do move out, you will spend far more of your income on rent and bills. Like it or not, your contribution of £100 for everything is very low! Your mum choosing not to work is irrelevant as she shouldn't be subsiding your choices now you are an adult.