To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

@NimbleLemonBeaker The average rent per room where the OP lives in the South East is £542. This will not include bills. Student accommodation is not any more exploitative than other rent, probably less so.

The OP's parents don't hate her. They are just having a hard time financially.

I didn't see anyone (apart from you) talking about immigration on this thread. This is generally quite a open minded forum, not the UKIP Mums you're assuming.

You'll find UK working class often have an extended family culture, but middle class professions in the past have required people to relocate for work, making that extended family situation impracticable. Maybe remote working will change that. Not heartless. Just making a living, doing the best for our families.

South East England Rental Market | Stats & Graphs (varbes.com)

People can't be washing themselves thoroughly, and exfoliating their dead skin off if they're only taking 5 minutes in the shower🤢

I have a long bath once a week, where I soak for 20 minutes and then exfoliate my whole body with a Moroccan Kese glove. I then shower myself using body wash, to make sure all the dead skin has come off (because the amount sat in the bottom of the bath is shocking), and clean myself. That entire process takes about an hour to an hour and a half.

I shower 5 days a week, and it takes at least 20 minutes to wash everything thoroughly and use a gentle body wash or exfoliator. The 2-3 times a week, I wash my hair, that takes 30-40 minutes at a minimum because my hair is afro texture and almost down to my bum. I use a hair cleanser, scrub my scalp to get any residue/fluff out of my hair, rinse, and had cleanser again to clean my hair. Then I condition my hair, let it sit for 5 and then rinse it again.

Oh and I take a day off showering after my big exfoliation so that the moisturiser I put on my skin can have some time to work. I still wash my pits and bits though!

That's without mentioning shaving, daily moisturising, or after wash hair care (leave in conditioner) etc.

Yes I'm teaching DD to do the same because it's important to be clean and will ensure she has good skin as she grows up

I pay my own bills and we pay a flat rate for our water. 🤷🏽‍♀️

You didn't substantiate your first point about student accommodation being cheaper so I won't take it at face value, especially since I've only heard the opposite. Won't say you're wrong though.

Extended household culture was forcibly abandoned for immigrants starting out in the west too, but their philosophy and cultural ethics around their children did not change. This individualistic philosophy is driven by culture and greed, not economics. The saying is if you actually wanted it you'd find a way.

"doing the best for our families." But by metrics Asians and other immigrant groups are beating natives in the west, even though they started out worse than the natives and didn't charge their kids rent.

Fifteen minutes is too long and half an hour is taking it to a new level.
Electric and water is expensive have a shower each day but cut the 15 minutes in half.
Also dermatologist would tell you not to shower that long, it's bad for your skin

This is really reallly not normal. You are not doing your daughter any favours passing this onto her.

Is this one of those weird Mumsnet things like the chicken? I can't fathom why people are so mind blown at the idea of a 15 minute shower. I'd say that's about my average. I'm going to ask everyone I know what their average shower time is because this is so alien to me, these two minute speed showers.

You need to rephrase that to "This is really really not normal in white anglocentric cultures"

I personally find it really abnormal that people spend 5 minutes in the shower and wash themselves with their hand. How can you wash thoroughly in 5 minutes, with no cloth? You can't.

Lots of people from lots of cultures follow a similar, if not more thorough hygiene routine. It's the norm in African and Caribbean cultures to be very clean. Anyone I know from an African or Caribbean culture is this clean if not cleaner.

I'm not personally obsessive about it and other than feeling a bit gross, I can carry on with life if I can't get a shower for whatever reason.

Anyway. It's recommended to do deep exfoliation once a week by most dermatologists across the board.
Double shampooing hair is again recommended by the majority of hairdressers.

Also I'm curious - how much exactly do you know about the upkeep of afro textured hair? I'm guessing you don't know a lot, if anything.
Because if you did you would know that afro texture hair requires specific upkeep to keep it healthy and stop it snapping off. Our hair texture is much drier. It also gets "dusty" because it picks up fluff and fibres from the environment. I need to scrub my scalp to loosen it and wash it off, along with the leave in conditioner or oil from earlier that week. If you googled you'd know this.

My daughter also has a similar texture hair. Would it make you feel better if I ignored her needs, and didn't regularly moisturise her hair because you think that level of self care is abnormal? No doubt you'd be on here writing a post titled "AIBU for assuming a child was neglected and calling social services" if you saw her walking down the street with her hair uncared for, because I can't win with people like you who seem to pride themselves in their ignorance of other cultures that reside in the UK.

Just because something isn't done in your culture doesn't make it inherently abnormal.

Oh and I'm doing plenty of favours teaching my daughter to have good personal hygiene thanks.

After reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder if loads of mumsnetters are really greasy unwashed teenage boys, who sit online all day trolling on here.
It's the only type of person I could see thinking a 2-5 minute speed shower is enough to wash properly.

Everyone I know showers for 15-30 minutes, and washes thoroughly.

P.s what was the chicken? 🫣

As pp have suggested, perhaps, if there is only one bathroom (I know op said there is a separate toilet) the problem might be that there are 5 other people in the house all waiting to have their shower too. I was one of 4 kids and my dad put an electric shower in the box room because he was sick of the arguments.

Oh don't be so stupid, of course you can wash properly in 2 to 5 minutes. No one I know takes 15 to 30 minutes. That is ridiculous. How can you spend that long, what do you do?

15 mins shower...what are you doing in there. That's a very long time. It takes 5-6 mins for a shower. £100 is very cheap. Yabu I'm afraid

2 - 5 minute shower... What are you not doing in there that you should be?

Do people seriously think this is adequate??

I'm embarrassed for you.

What do people do in the shower for 15 minutes? If I'm not washing my hair or shaving my legs I am in and out in under 3 minutes. That includes soaping thoroughly and rinsing all over plus an extra couple of soaps and rinses on armpits, genitals and feet.

if I'm washing my hair it will take longer but never more than 10 minutes.

My DH takes upwards of 10 minutes every time and it is a mystery to me what he does in there. Sometimes I wonder if he is enjoying some 'private' time - to me it's the only possible explanation.

My shower takes about 2 seconds to get to temperature (and I have it pretty hot).

I don't save every day and very much doubt most people do. I don't use a scrub on my face every day and most times I do I use the sink rather than the shower.

I shampoo my hair as soon as I get in the shower and rinse it off. I then put conditioner on which I leave while I am washing. I don't condition every day as my hair does not need it

What do you think is inadequate about this?

I am embarrassed for you that you don't know how to wash without taking ages. Sad

Presumably you can afford for your daughter to do that? It sounds like op's parents cant.
If op thinks that £100 per week is expensive, she needs to get her own place and pay own bills

Of course it's adequate @Begsthequestion!
Unless you work down a coalmine or as a naked painter/decorator a daily 5 minute shower is all your poor skin needs.

For me, two minutes feels very rushed. I also prefer to use a flannel and/or a salux cloth rather than hands alone. I don't feel as clean when I don't use a flannel and/or salux cloth.

I use a scrunchy as I find they make they shower gel lathering up more than a flannel or my hands do. Just a small amount of gel makes loads of lather

Me too. I can't imagine what anyone could do in the shower for 15 minutes. But from the point of contributing £100 per week, then of course you should be able to shower as often and for as long as you want.

Timed myself in the shower this morning, out of curiosity - 16 minutes, disregarding the three minutes for it to warm up, which I spent brushing my teeth and hair.
I got in, thoroughly wet my hair, shampood and massaged my scalp, rinsed the shampoo and out, conditioned and combed my hair, clipped my hair up, exfoliated my body, washed my body, rinsed the conditioner out, moisturised my body with a shower oil bar, shaved my underarms, washed my face.
By 5 minutes into the shower, I was only just rinsing the shampoo out of my hair. Unless people have very thin/short hair or just aren't washing it, I can't imagine how anyone gets clean in 5 minutes or less.

@Whatthefrance2024

yes, I know that, I was replying (as indicated by the @) to another poster.

Exactly! I need to be out of house within an hour of getting up. Shower, blow dry hair, dress, make up, breakfast, and organise DS. I can’t be wasting 30 minutes letting water down the drain!