To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

No my love I monitor it against last years because I'm not stupid but I don't have the washing machine running several times a week, I don't sit in my room on a computer with TV running and lights on as well as heating all day as she worked from home 3 days a week. I don't put the oven on to cook meals we use the air fryer or convection microwave, I don't boil kettles of water for numerous drinks or use the tumble dryer for clothes I forgot to wash until the last minute. And I turn lights off when I leave the room.

No the money is in my son’s name he could berate me tomorrow and it would still be his. He is working towards his own goals in life. You are not grasping my point at all. OP is not happy with her DM’s request to reduce her shower time. We don’t know what her DM’s finances are like, her mental health, if she is getting pressure from elsewhere to address this issue in their household. OP at 24 years old and earning a decent wage for her age immediately berates and degrades her Mums choices in life. You know what I did when I was 19 and I didn’t want to live at home? Moved out! It’s about OP’s complete lack of understanding or empathy towards her own DM.

Me too. I didn't realise it could be THAT different.

When my DS moved out I saved £140 per week. He had been paying £70 per week which I'd thought was covering his cost. I was very pleasantly surprised to save so much money. He had used a lot of electricity.

Seconds. Get wet, shampoo hair, udnerpits, bottom and front with 2 different hands - sorry, may be you need someone to teach you even this. Wash soap off, seconds. Go out, dry yourself. Leave in mask is the best for any hair type anyway

Seconds

And we have a winner 😂

@GalileoHumpkins

🤣

How indulgent and wasteful of you.

I just wait for it to rain then pop outside.

I just go down to the local duck pond with a bar of soap and a towel.

Give me strength.

If my teens attempted that wash in 'seconds' they'd be swiftly told go back. That's just nonsensical in terms of being clean.

😂

I find it insensitive of you posting about access to a duck pond in the current climate. We could only dream of a duck pond. We have to wash in a small, muddy puddle in the yard. If it doesn't rain before we've used all the puddle water we can't wash at all.

Puddles are an extravagance! Lie down naked in front of your local feral cat colony and watch air for them to lick you clean.

How luxurious to have a towel, I just let the wind blow me dry like nature intended.

We just have the one towel between 7 of us. It's my turn with the towel on a Sunday,

TBH this probably isn't entirely about the shower.

I'm from an era where we had one hot bath a week and the whole family climbed in one after the other. My poor Dad got last dibs. Child growing up in the eighties. Hot water to this day feels like a luxury to me. I also can't function without a shower every day. And love each and every one. I have been known to cold shower to save costs. And my partner is quick to point out if I linger in the shower for more than five minutes.

Your Mum is likely a little jealous she could feel she sacrifices while you profit. And likely perceives your income as a staggering amount compared to old money. Not that I would ever mention that. These power dynamics play out in different ways. I'd suggest just acknowledging the struggle, and asking to offer help. Sometimes small gestures can go a long way to healing.

For me 15-30 minutes in the shower sounds profligate, but other posters here seem to think it's a norm. I feel a strong vibe of my house my rules emanating from some quarters. This is a throwback to my youth! I never felt I was much of a financial burden on my folks when young, I just couldn't see it. I still remember the chorus of the bills aren't cheap and they keep coming. And that hasn't changed. It's all sodding bills.

45 minutes is ridiculous. What a waste of water and energy. Your bathroom must get so steamed up.

How could it possibly take that long to wash yourself. You get in the shower, turn the water on, put some shower gel on a scrunchy and wash yourself all over. That takes barely any time. Even washing hair as well doesn't add that much time on

It is weird to expect you not to wash every day though. I appreciate if you have long hair it can take a while, and if water pressure is poor or you’re using an old shower, it can take forever to wash your hair.

Maybe try and meet your parents in the middle - have fewer long showers, and treat yourself to a longer one every now and then.

I’ve skimmed but am boggling at the people who can stand in a shower for 30 minutes. WTF are you doing in all that time?

"£100 a week is certainly not a huge chunk of her salary.
It’s £5200 a year out of £24000, leaving her £18800 a year for whatever she want"

She's paying tax and NI on that £18,800 - it doesn't go far if she's paying travel costs, some food, phone, gym. Not saying she's poor but she certainly isn't swimming in money and am presuming she's saving so she can eventually move out!

I think profiting from adult dc is wrong, as is expecting them to contribute towards fixed costs such as mortgage.

Unless the parents have bought expensive extras like sky tv/multiroom etc specifically for the OP, she's covering her costs!

Either stick to a 5 minute shower or pay extra rent. I'd say an extra £20 per week. £100 really isn't alot. You'd be paying double that to rent.

"Thinking," was DD's reply to that question when I asked her. She once stayed in the shower so long that she fainted from heat exhaustion. She still stayed in the shower. Her sister had to forcibly remove her from the bathroom when she fainted a second time and cracked her forehead on the sink

My shower is hot almost immediately, doesn't need to heat up.

I very much doubt you shave your legs and armpits every day.

Of course you can get clean in a couple of minutes. Just how long does it take to use a scrunchy with shower gel all over you body. You would have to be the size of an elephant to take the time some posters say they take.

Op lives on the south coast, I doubt her parents are profiting from her contributions.

I'm just struggling to understand how it takes 15 minutes to have a shower!?