To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

I certainly can have a shower in a couple of minutes, and I wash every single part of my body thoroughly. I don't have hair mind.

£400 a month with us would no where near cover 1/4 the normal bills and food. That's before you even get to a contribution to the mortgage or wear and tear or maintenance costs.

You could not get a room in a shared house around here for £400 pcm EXCLUDING all bills.

You're not a tenant, that would cost more. You live by your parents rules or you move out, it's quite simple. It's their house, their rules.

You're saving a lot living at home, and you should appreciate your parents are willing to do this for you. Do you help your mum with her work, which may be unpaid but nevertheless exists unless she also has a nanny, housekeeper and chef. Like childcare for your younger siblings, all the housework, cleaning, planning meals, buying food, cooking meals, clearing up? Washing floors, toilets, bathrooms?

Your mum DOES work, it's just unpaid and I'd place a hefty bet on being mainly for the benefit of you and your siblings. If they've had to cut back as a result, she's not swanning off to nail salons all day, is she?

And you have no idea of the calculations your parents have made which resulted in her staying home. It may end up costing so much in childcare, travel costs etc (second car?) for her to work that it's not worth it at this time.

It might be quite useful for you for once you do head out into the world to understand the full range of unpaid work that needs to be done to run a household and raise children and the calculations your parents made to get to the decision that your mum would only work in the home and not outside it at this point in time.

She is covering her costs though.

Why should your mum sacrifice so you can have long showers. Your money will probably only cover the utility bill and a bit more. You need to understand the cost of everything.

@Mountainclimber50

So your son strokes your ego and plays the happy family golden boy role, and you wipe his arse with wads of cash?

I'd rather have a broke parent than one whose finances extended to me as highly conditional exertions of control and expectation, rather than unconditional, as parents should be (by and large).

The OP is "berating" because she is being berated. If you played hardball with your son and withdrew all support, I don't doubt for a second he'd spit the dummy out in some manner.

The OP shouldn't have to pay the whole utility bill.

I think @Mountainclimber50 is taking the pi$$

It is a bit sad you see your mum staying at home to loook after young children limiting YOU, because you have to make sacrificies by not showering for quarter of an hour every day. Maybe if you pay in more money, you wiull all struggle a bit less. Being a stay at home mum is super difficult, hope this thread opened your eyes.
And yes, 15 minutes is far too long. The amount of money this costs is probably pretty considerable, not to mention the water you actually waste...

Agree. And 30 minutes!! What on earth could you be doing to take that long?

Personally don't think 15 minutes is an excessively long shower. It's not unreasonable unless you're doing it as others need the bathroom (eg if your mum has said to younger siblings, right, five minutes then it's time for a shower then it's PJs and bed, and you jump in for a fifteen minute shower 30 seconds before they were due to get in, or if you know your siblings usually get up and want to shower at 7:45 to get out the door for school by 8;30 and you hop in at 7;44 and make them late).

I'd suggest sitting down with your parents and going through their bills with them, if what you're paying is proportionate (eg 1/6th) then you're fine, and can counter with that when it's pointed out. If it's not, and you're way under paying, it may be worth offering a bit more on the condition that you're allowed to shower for as long as you want (eg an extra £20 a month towards the water bill), and making sure you're pulling your weight around the house in terms of chores to make up for it.

Personally I think £400 a month is a reasonable contribution for a young adult to remain in their family home. I think being the only sibling paying at home is likely to build resentment, particularly if you're all a similar age, and the fact you're the only one paying should come with some perks, like taking longer showers.
If all your siblings were paying £400 per month, that would mean your parents were getting £1,600 per month, or £19,200 per year, which is a hell of a lot of money.

Are you for real? You are telling the OP to move out while bragging about how much you are subsidising your own adult son?

How do you know? She doesn’t pay £400 a month just for showers alone. She lives there and uses gas, electricity, water, has her rubbish collected, uses broadband, no doubt watches TV, has her belongings insured, eats 16 meals a week plus snacks, drinks, does her washing, uses toiletries and cleaning products, produces wear and tear on household items (which the parents have paid for), etc, etc…

I didn't expect so many responses, I've tried to read most of them.
We live on the south coast in Hampshire, it's not the cheapest area to live admittedly.
My mum is lovely really and I shouldn't have said what I said, she does do a lot for me and well all of us really, I'm very grateful.
I see how I lucky I have it now and I'm grateful to everyone who opened my eyes.
I won't be at home forever, only while I finish my course and hopefully earn a bit more.
I already have a gym membership, I just prefer to shower at home where I have all my stuff upstairs for getting ready after but that's just me.

You know nothing @NikkiMartinabout me or my son.

Are you saying OP has spat her dummy out at 24? That’s what your post implies.

And most of those things her parents would still have to pay for if the OP moved out.

Work out the difference in cost between what they are prepared to provide (shorter shower less often and washes) and what you want to take.

There will likely be a way online to find that out, or you could look at the meter reading before and after you shower and work out an approximation from there.

Offer to increase your weekly board by that amount.

Is that for electric only? What about the cost of the water or do you get that free?

Actually I don't think I ever shower in less time than that. I find showers relaxing ao I'm with you on that. However, their house their rules. Your choice is cut down on your showers or move out.

Was that just electricity or electricity plus water costs?

I run a household on under 20k due to ill health.
Have a word with yourself and stop being so inconsiderate

My son has only just turned 18 and at Uni. It is a totally different situation to an adult 24 year earning 24k, living at home and putting her own Mum down.

I’d still have to pay all the bills if DH moved out, it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay his fair share while he’s there. Every adult in a household should contribute where possible (ie. If they’re in work, not studying and especially if the parents aren’t in a financial position to carry them).

@caringcarer

Our water + sewerage for the whole year is £363. So even if you were to factor that in to weekly costs, you're adding on £6.90 per week.

And no - we have gas central heating, that figure is electricity AND gas.

What do you do in the shower? Even on a hair wash day, I’m in and out in about 5 minutes.

Perhaps the OP doesn't have a 50 grand deposit from mummy to buy a house.