To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

You sound a bit of a pain in the neck.
Either move out or just take a normal time in the shower.

Boubou. Put a timer on and do not waste water. 10 minutes max. If you want to have a 30 bath from time to time, reduce your time to 5 minutes. And do not waste your parents money. What your mother chooses is none of your business, start to muse about these things under your own roof.

YABU

What on earth do people do for 15 minutes in a shower?! Isn’t 4 minutes the recommended length of time b6 the water companies? There’s no way you could live for £100 a week on your own.

good god staggering entitlement 😂

I am not surprised your parents are moaning at you. Sounds selfish and over indulgent. it costs money to heat that water and you are probably on a water metre too..... there is also the time you take which means the other members of the household can't access the bathroom.

Once you move out and pay for this yourself you will soon start taking shorter showers.

"My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices."

This is so disrespectful it is hard to get past it.

Cut showers back to 10 mins at most. I can wash my hair as well as shower in 10 minutes. Water is expensive and your parents are clearly sacrificing their own showers so you are taking the piss taking 15 minutes everyday. Also you say you pay your parents a lot of money, £100 per week. They are still subsidizing you. If you rented one single room in a shared house you'd be paying at very minimum £500 plus buying all your own food. Stop taking your parents for granted and start showing them more respect. Wake up to yourself. Both your parents and you could all have a 5 minute shower everyday but you selfishly take 15 minutes all to yourself meaning your parents have to be needlessly sacrificed. No wonder they are annoyed at you. Whenever you feel a bit hard done by because you are only DC making a financial contribution, just remember you are getting a bargain living at home.

I am 😲 at all those saying 15 mins too long to shower! I am normally in there for at least 45 mins. obv switch off water in between when scrubbing or massaging in shampoo. but washing head to toe including shampooing hair takes me that long. I also stand under the hot water for a bit to help relax my aching muscles. if I really rushed, I could maybe do it all in 20 minutes. but absolutely no less.
wondering how the people having two minutes showers manage it?

23 years old and this is what you are letting take headspace in your brain.

You should move out.

You are a grown adult woman.

Stop berating your Mum. You are lucky she is letting you live at home at 23.

Honestly, I was expecting you to say you were no older than 21.

£100 a week is a ridiculously low amount to pay for your living situation at 23 years old when you are earning 24k. Your Mum is a very generous woman.

OP has 3 other siblings and 2 parents all needing to use the same facility every day though.

I shower every night and I’m in there for around 10/15 minutes, I don’t think it’s that long and if I bath I’m in there for a good hour, I do usually go in there just before I go to bed so if I bath I go at 19.30 and if I shower I go at 20.30.

Are you running the hot shower for that amount of time, constantly ?
all that hot water going down the drain...

If you're in the part of the SE supplied by Southern Water, you may be interested to know that they lost almost 100m litres of water a day due to their own leaks the other year.

They need to get their own house in order before they start telling customers what to do.

My ds is older and still lives at home. He always got a home here

It's very expensive to rent. I'd rather he saved

I think OP is getting a hard time. Fifteen minutes per shower is a bit too long, but she's not going to reduce her family to beggary because of her showers.

There's no way that her moving back into the family home already occupied by other family members costs more than 100 quid a week, provided she doesn't heat her own bedroom, so actually she's not getting a good deal.

I suspect her mum's playing the poor mouth: "I can't work because I have kids and you are a financial burden" and probably wants more of her daughter's hard -earned cash. OP's mum should do like the rest of us if she wants money: Work. I wonder if the OP's mum is resentful of her daughter's financial independence.

I also like the gym/leisure centre activity idea.

OP I do believe that you should aim for ten mins in the shower. You should also save for a deposit for your own place and move out when you can.

I always leave conditioner on then wash body then rinse hair,

Never had any problems

Surely you can still rinse off with water

what are you doing that takes so long ? I would say it’s an excessive time.
I don’t know the ages of the kids but having 4 children is more than equivalent to a full time job, It’s a shame you feel your mum has chosen your sacrifices, you may look back on this viewpoint one day.
get a gym membership for £20ish and use all the hot water and electricity you like

I have a ds age 22 living at home. He earns similar to you and pays me £300 a month rent. The issue I would have with 15 minute showers is how long you are spending in the bathroom if people are waiting to get in and more importantly how much hot water you are using. Hot water tanks only hold so much water, there are 5 of us in our house and we can all have a shower in the morning for 5 - 10 mins max before the hot water runs out. Then it would take another 1-2 hours of putting the heating / boiler on (which costs money) to heat again. So no, I don’t think your parents are being unreasonable as there is probably not enough hot water to go around meaning they would need to put the water on again to have a hot shower.
fwiw my daughter and I manage to shower in less than 10 mins even with a hair wash and conditioner, so it is doable.

15 minutes is an average shower for us, I'm shocked anyone is saying it's too long. I'm way longer than that if I need to wash my hair and shave in the same shower. By "us" I mean myself, my family and all the friends I've ever had stay over/been on holiday with.
However, if it's an electric shower that will be quite expensive. Does the £100pw cover bills and food? If so, maybe offer to up it to £125 a week to carry on with your showers.

Although you think £24k is not much money. My youngest DS only earns £25.5k so not much more than you and he pays his mortgage, council tax 75 percent, gas, electricity, water, house insurance, car tax, insurance and MOT and petrol, Netflix, cinema pass, broadband, phone, food and cat food and litter plus he still buys a takeaway once a fortnight and goes out with his friends for a curry and a beer once a week. He also buys birthday cards and small gifts out of this. Ok, he does work and odd Sunday for his Dad to earn a little extra about one Sunday out of 8. You just need to be really careful with budgeting.

I am a poor mother that sacrifices luxury. I have cut the bathroom down pipe and fitted a watering can rose in such a way that I can shower off the waste from my kids as they wash happily inside a warm family home. I know my place.

Girl, 15 mins is nothing. Don't let all these dirty folks who swear they only need 2mins to get clean telly you any different. Conditioner needs 3-5mins alone. God forbid you shave your armpits!

Your parents chose to have you, you pay them £400 per month, that pays for WAY more than you'll eat, or shower. You're not there to pay their mortgage. It's not your own house. I'd hold your ground!

Don't let everyone make you feel guilty for bloody getting clean. You're paying above and beyond for it!

Honestly, I don't really believe the figures touted around the media. We stopped using an electric pump/cold water/hot water tank and got a new pressurised water tank and have seen a difference in both our water and electricity bills which is enough to have been immediately noticeable. It's also fair to assume that the showering is just one of a number of grievances which the op's parents have but this is the one they decided to bring up.

No one is forcing OP to stay living at home. If OP is not happy to cover their own cost whilst living at home then they are perfectly free to move out. OP's mother might have perfectly good reasons for not working outside of the home. OP has said they have 3 other siblings.