To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

She contributes £400 to the house and her mum contributes £0 and stops her own daughter washing every day. It’s pretty shit parenting. I feel really sorry for this OP, she’s taken the awful criticism on this thread really well and thinks she’s in the wrong :(

I think that a daily shower is usual but that 15 minutes is thoughtless to your family and the environment and obviously unnecessary.

Exactly the same here. I'm baffled at those that have a 5 min or less shower, it takes me that long just to get relaxed and warm! I thought 10-15 mins is pretty average for a shower. I never ever have baths though, for me a shower is way more relaxing.

In OPs case though maybe pay a bit more than you are in exchange for being able to have longer showers, or try to cut them shorter if you can't afford it.

Again 'this can't be real, this can't be real...'

Her mum contributes £0???

I say this is someone who has 3 children, if you have a large family you choose to have to provide more facilities and utilities than someone with a smaller family.
You can't expect your children to forgot basics such as a daily shower (and that is a basic) because you have chosen to have more kids.

£100 pw is plenty for a contribution from a young adult working and studying.

Cracks me up cos rushing to be done in 5 mins in a slippery shower wont cause an accident and wont cause anyone to be stuck there for hours rather than minutes while waiting for the ambulance. 🙄

My first thought is that what the hell are you doing in there that takes 15 min? But I'm a notoriously quick showerer (?).

Unlike other people,on here I get what you mean about you mother. Mine insisted on not working too, when we were dirt poor and I spent most of my teenage years angry at her because she insisted on taking all of the money I earned in my part time job because my dad didn't bring home enough to keep,her and the babies she insisted on having.

40-odd years later......and I still feel the same.

I recommend getting the hell out as soon as you can and getting your own place. Once resentment starts, it destroys the relationship you have with her.

Poor OP, getting vilified like this!
A 5 minute shower is nothing. 15 minutes is perfectly fine. Any parent who resents their own daughter having a shower like this is unreasonable. I swear some parents treat their kids like lodgers.

A ten minute shower will set you back 62p - Oct 23. Cheaper if its a gas shower. Maybe bung Mum an extra £10. It'll be worth it.

You think SAHP contribute nothing to the household? Wow. Just wow.

She has young siblings. Her mother is a SAHM. And she is contributing nothing?

7/8/9 minutes is plenty for a shower, especially every day. The OP admits her shower hit 30 minutes long… I’m guessing they creep up and up and it isn’t actually 15 minutes. It’s too long.

I decided not to take any money from my children when they were adults, they were going to uni, working part time and saving up for a deposit to get on the housing ladder themselves. At the time I wasn’t earning much more than you. I think you pay more than enough so enjoy your 15 minute showers. When I lived at home my mum took money from me but when I moved out she had saved it and gave it all back, so I suppose all families are different.

Omg. The drama 😂. You’re not going to fall over and injure yourself because of having a quick shower. Jesus.

Oh dear god, do some people actually calculate how much their daughter is costing them in the shower?
Unless the mother has to go to foodbacks and can't afford the basics, she should cut the lass some slack.
What's that phrase? Some people know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Nor are you going to drown the polar bears or bankrupt the family with a 15 minute shower.

I see no reason for adult children not to pay their way at home. I still think the comment the OP made about her mother's working status was unwarranted.

ETA I see she's now addressed that.

Yes I will do the same for my ds

I cut out the middle part and just didn't charge them.

Nope you don't need 15 mins to shower. Not unreasonable to shower every day but you only need 5 or 6 minutes. I hate long showers, apart from the water waste it creates a lot of steam in the bathroom with more potential for mould to form.

Wait till you're paying your own bills, you might have a different view.

She's paying £400 per month. That's plenty.

Maybe would cover utilities and council tax but not rent, food and a full time housekeeper.

I wash my shoulderlength hair and condition it every day and I can do an all over shower in around 5 minutes

I don’t think 15 mins a day is an issue at all! 30, yes, but 15 is enough to shampoo/condition or shave and exfoliate etc.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or would do though does it?

Op's parents aren't happy so she either finds a solution or moves out!

rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

So what is the issue Op?

Would they only be happy if do do the same as them?

As soon as we had a shower installed at home (I was a teen), everyone had a shower everyday including my dad who would be mid 90s if still here.

My ILs who are late 80s still have a wash at the sink most days & a bath once a week.

They have a shower but seem to think that using it every day is the height of extravagance-as they never seemed to tire of telling my husband from the day it was installed & he started using it every day!

He was glad to get away!