To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

I love being in the shower and just love to feel the hot water all over me. It can take 5-10 minutes of that just to restore my soul, before I even think about washing myself and my hair.

For me, the relaxation in a hot shower is one of my biggest joys, and I wouldn't cut it short for anything.

But 20 mins is usually long enough.

Have many posters missed that the op is 23, in a full time job earning way above NMW, they have one shower and that her parents aren't well off?

All this talk of how rich people would treat their studying teenage child is utterly irrelevant here.

Is that an electric shower? If so there is probably a risk of burn out if it was on for half an hour.

It's classic MN competitive frugality.

We're already on two minutes being a reasonable time to shower in. The water wouldn't have even had a chance to get hot before it's nearly time to get out!

You sound selfish and entitled. 15 minutes in the shower? Disgusting waste.

Would you speak to someone like that in real life over their attempts to maintain personal hygiene?

My daughter does this! The issue is not so much the electricity and water, it's the bloody condensation! Every wall is running with water, and it actually drips off the ceiling,which can lead to mould
Drives me bloody mad!!

I’m very glad you’ve taken everything on board. I was an odd 24 year old as when I was your age, I had a toddler and a baby and was running my own home so I have a skewed view but I do think that a 24 year old should understand the costs of running a home, and also not be so judgemental about their mother’s choice. I’m sure when growing up, you benefited from your mum being at home. It’s really unfair to judge her now. And to decide that they’re wrong for the budgets they are putting in place.

You’ve been rude and inconsiderate towards your parents and I can’t believe you ignored their request to stop taking such indulgent showers.

When you’re older and running your own home, you might understand their frustration. I do hope you actually make changes.

5 minutes is a decent length shower. I would be moaning if my adult dc were using 15 mins of hot water too, that more than a bath full. Typically I'm in the shower 3 minutes unless deep conditioning or shaving (which I do on the same day) then it's 5 minutes.

Decent house shares around my area start at £200 a month, the OP hasn't said were she lives. Her £400 a month will be a big help to the family. A 5 minute shower a day is completely reasonable. I run it before I get in. I wash my hair separately. You are handing enough over to be entitled to that. Making young women wash with flannels, is having bizarre control issues.

Thank you for apologising about the comment about your mum as although I personally work part time and juggle with motherhood that comment really did make me fume. It’s the equivalent to me of someone saying it’s the fault of the poor that they don’t work more than full time hours, I would suggest you familiarise your self with the concept of ‘the 2nd shift’ and think about how fair is it societal attitudes shoehorn women into that level of exhaustion. Please don’t take for granted all the things your mum is able to do for you probably due to the fact she’s at home (I’m certainly not cooking anyones’s dinner on the days I work). You’re getting a very good deal, £100 a week including a good portion of your food, a home cooked evening meal every night is a dream for most adults. Even my husband who works full time would love this! Granted I charge my adult DC much less in board but then we can afford not to, just like some parents can afford not to charge anything at all, to pay for uni fees and holidays for their adult children, it’s just how it is. I appreciate the long showers are really important to you, your parents are not being unfair, perhaps just offer them a bit more to cover the cost.

I just timed my shower as had had no idea how long it took. Results are…..9 minutes and 20 seconds!!
I don’t have a shower every day though so I’m sure it evens out over the week
Although then I’ll probably be berated for being a minger.
To answer OP, get a timer and cut your shower time down even a bit, for the sake of family harmony.

We don’t charge our children , we expect them to save but that is irrelevant here . The OP may well be studying but she also has a job which pays reasonably and unless there is a massive drip feed it sounds like her family are and always have been hard up . Comments should be based on the facts the OP has given , not based on what you would do in your own home with your own financial circumstances.

Takes me that long if I wash my hair

15 mins is perfectly acceptable shower time - by the time you’ve got changed, washed, hair washed, out and dry that’s easily 15 mins
£400 is a decent amount of rent.
I agree with you, your contributing, a wash isn’t a massive cost to have

I am sorry you are getting so much shit OP. After a long day at work, one wants to have a nice hot shower and 15mins is nothing. You are paying a decent amount. Parents should not be making a profit out of their child.

Tbh I'd work out how much your food costs (inc. cooking it/running the kettle repeatedly), then start from how much of the £100 is left for everything else you get benefit from, before getting onto a high horse about the shower. Also if you start thinking "my room is free for them as it would be here if I was here or not" - they are giving up a study/home gym/dedicated guest bedroom/hobby room etc by having you taking up that place now you are old enough to have moved out, there is an opportunity cost to them of you being there.

All those saying that she shouldn't be judgmental towards her Mother. If a OP asked was she BU by refusing to work when her daughters couldn't keep themselves properly clean, because the family were skint, she'd be slaughtered.

Life’s not a competition but their parents are financially struggling and have asked them to reduce their shower time to a reasonable amount - their original comment made reference to the fact the second parent could work to sort the issue. I’m not telling them to do what I did, I didn’t have the support of staying at home as an adult - I came from a large struggling family.

However when someone is on £24k, that’s £1700 a month living at home with their parents. £400 contribution to the living expenses of a household including an evening meal and probably breakfast is a good deal. They still have £1300 left per month which is more than alot of people (probably including their parents from the sound of it). The original poster just needs to see the reality that their parents are struggling and cutting back on things will help rather than thinking they deserve to take more, leaving others without and saying the second parent can go out to work

In answer to another person quoting my comment, if it’s their home and there isn’t enough money that people are having to cut back, then they should be contributing more or respecting the small ask of their parents and taking a reasonable shower length. Yes I do have a child who can stay at home as long as they want and I have made plans for if and when they do want to move out, giving them support that I never had.

For the sake of clarity I washed and conditioned my hair, washed myself and then stood for a minute letting the hot water soothe my aching neck and shoulders…imagining the chorus of tuts from frugal Mnetters 🤭

15 min shower is nuts. I'm a working profesional living by myself with no money problems and never had have 15 mins shower. If you're living with your family, they have very little money and you're contributing with 100 a week then 5 mins is the max you need, just like your average person.

How many wanks are you having per shower? 15 minutes is crazy!

Yes i wonder what the responses would have been if it had been her partner timing her in the shower

If you're in the shower every day you're not getting dirty enough to spend that long, sorry. I'm with your parents, waste of hot water!

I don’t wash my hair everyday but do have a quick wash in the shower daily. Takes 5mins max. It does take about 15mins if i wash my hair too but my hair is really long and thick as hell