Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

@InWalksBarberalla Do you call your doctor by his/her first name? After all, a consultation is a direct discussion between two adults?

Before you were married did parents call you Miss or Ms? I'm sorry they're not hearing you but not surprised.

Because the parents and everyone else had a secret meeting for the sole purpose of just annoying the op, they have nothing else going on in their lives except the sole purpose of annoying you

It is one big conspiracy

Yes I call my doctor by his first name, again as per instruction. I had to see a different doctor recently because my normal one was away and I'm fairly sure he introduced himself by his first name but can't recall for sure. When they call and leave a message they do say 'Dr firstname lastname' so bit more formal but not 'Dr lastname'.

That hasn’t been the case at any school I’ve had experience of. Female teachers are known by their name and title- Miss, Ms, Mrs or Dr. At secondary schools the pupils will quite often just say ‘Miss! Miss!’ but I think that’s less common at primary level and parents shouldn’t be doing it at all!

Is this in person or when on the phone?

Whenever I fill in a form online the drop down menu usually has Mr, Misss, Mrs, Ms in that order so I think if you are on the phone and the other person is filling in a form then they read the top options.

It is the assumption that annoys me. Before I got with my DH, my younger brother lived with me in my house. I would get letters through the door addressed to Mr and Mrs Lastname. The assumption being that a man and a woman at the same address must be married. And they would always put his name first! Even my own bank randomly changed my title to Mrs at one point.

Now that I'm in my 40s, it is usually assumed that I am married, because the notion that a woman wouldn't be married at this age just doesn't occur to some people.

I think people have bigger things to worry about, many people are under stress. I personally wouldn’t give this a second thought

I was with you until this comment. A doctor is referred to as Dr …. As respect for their quals. Only teachers think they should receive the same level of respect for much lesser qualifications.

Our GPs use first names. I’m a teacher and haven’t been Miss or Mrs anything since 2002, first name only since then. Always introduce myself with firstname lastname, no title needed.

Also should clarify we are pretty informal generally in my neck of the woods. I think here it's pretty general that doctors will introduce themselves as Dr Firstname Surname and don't mind which combo patients use. I'll say back 'hi Firstname', othes might prefer to use Dr Lastname or just Doc.

Anyway that was a bit off topic - just was surprised anyone is being called by their title enough these days for it to really matter which is used. Get that many teachers still do with students at least but thought they'd be pretty easy to correct. Hadn't realized some teachers expect parents to use titles - do the teachers use titles for the parents too?

I get called Miss and Ms instead of Mrs all the time by parents. It’s never occurred to me to care.

People called me Mrs before I was even married because once you reach a certain age it just sort of starts to happen. It’s really not a big deal. You can correct them if you want but any time you break a societal norm you’re going to have to deal with people who somehow can’t manage to get it right. It’s just life. So many more important things to worry about.

Where l have to use a title, l use Ms, but l prefer not to use a title at all. I don’t see why a title should reflect my marital status. But l also accept Ms is difficult to say and doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue.

Sometimes l get called Mrs, occasionally Miss by people. I really can’t get worked up about it. I would draw the line at Mr though 😀.

I assumed wrongly that Ms was for Divorcees. I don't personally know anyone who uses Ms though.

I'm not really surprised that people forget and call you Mrs if they know you are married.

I teach in a large primary school and all the married, female staff (of all ages) go by Mrs.
Out of the unmarried staff, only myself and one other teacher use Ms; the rest use Miss.

I always sign letters, emails and postcards to parents or certificates for children as Ms but many of the messages I get from parents are addressed to Miss.

As long as they get my surname correct it really doesn't bother me. It's not the hill that I'll die on. It seems a little thing to get so worked up about.

It’s just what people say though. The first thing that comes into their mind. They probably aren’t thinking ‘oooh let’s offend her by calling her Mrs, and thus stating that I deem her no better than a stepford wife’. They are wondering what to cook for tea, trying to remember whether they left the iron on and trying to remember to pay the tv licence.

In the big scheme of things it really, really doesn’t matter. If you have no bigger worries in this day and age you are massively privileged. Chill!

It would annoy me too, but I think people often default to Mrs for a woman. I'm single, and a teacher (at a level where I'm usually referred to by first name) but have been referred to as Mrs, by colleagues as well as students. It's nonsense for a title to be linked to marital status.

I hardly think they are all doing it to spite you - it’s generally not very commonly used and people aren’t used to it. Just correct them and move or get used to it. Or you are going to be very angry for the rest of your career.

Yes, same for me. I always correct them.

Sorry but I think YABU, if you're married people will auto think Mrs because it's 'normal' so you have to change that by correcting them. I am Mrs and also Dr but I dont get the rage if im called Mrs

It's nothing to get worked up over. Just correctly and move on.

I LOVE that you're a teacher using Ms. I was really quite shocked when my son started school to find the female teachers were all Miss or Mrs. There was just one member of staff (not a teacher) using Ms.

Personally I agree that women should only use one title, and it should be Ms. And yes, I know feminism is about choice. But come on.

I'm sorry but I think you're trying a bit hard and then getting annoyed that other people aren't bothered!