Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

Yeh, my title and surname is used all day every day as a teacher. Whenever I meet a new class, I explain to them exactly why I choose never to be a 'Mrs' and the history behind women's titles. Thr language we use IS important, even if many people on this thread don't think so.

Because it isn't a big deal. I'm a Mrs but don't feel "owned" by my husband. If anything I'm the "boss" in our household

Interesting, do you mind me asking is it a two way thing - does the teacher also refer to the parent with a title surname, or use a first name for the parent?

And this is the problem with teaching - it is treated as a low status career.

I am Dr by the way. I am also a teacher. I have a PhD. I expect to be called by my correct title, yes, in respect of my qualifications... but also because it is my name.

What’s wrong with Mrs? Do you think less of married women?

Language is always a big deal. Read some Orwell. Mrs is archaic.

I for one always refer to the parent with their title. And I always check it on the school system before emailing to ensure that the title is correct.

So what.

It is clearly important to you, but it isn't to me.

You do you.

Yep. I’ve been a married woman for 50 years. Two husbands, and neither thought they owned me lol 🤐

Im happy to be called “Mrs”, even though I’m a widow now.

It is very reasonable for people to assume you are Mrs because you are married. I think this is why feminism has become so unpopular, making an issue of every little thing. Why don’t you focus your anger on things that actually matter.

YABU - to be annoyed really.

I used the title 'Mrs' (teacher too - secondary) and I have it on my door.

On the mock exam papers I recently marked (some from students I have taught for 4 years) I was named as 'Ms' and 'Dr' and 'Miss' by quite a lot of students. Students frequently call me 'Dr' as I'm the only teacher of Chemistry/Physics who doesn't have a PhD, so they just associate a teacher of those subjects with being a 'Dr'. I dare say at home they refer to me as 'Dr PP' too.

Just correct it. I get it is important to you but to most other people it is a small detail that is easily overlooked, I doubt they are doing it on purpose.

So, you’re not happy being referred to as ‘Mrs’ but you were happy to actually get married? Seems a bit hypocritical to me.

OP ypu are absolutely NOT unreasonable. I am totally with you. In 100 years time society will look back at this archaic practice and be I disbelief at women labelling themselves by marital status whilst men do not. It's horrendous.

How so? Why is she hypocritical? Like her, I got married, but I'd be called Mrs over my dead body!

I bet mMany of the children also refer to the male teachers as Mrs / Miss too

Does that not take away the choice from others?
Just because you want to be Ms doesn't mean everyone does

So you're going to dictate what titles women should choose? Why?

You sound very angry about it, could be worse they could refer to you as Mr ............ Worse things are happening in the world, have a cup.of tea and a lie down.

I seem to be one of the few people on MN who couldn't care less what people call me and that goes for my first name as well. I really don't care if someone calls me Mrs, miss or Mr. Or Barry.

I am married (have been for over 40 years) and want to be called Mrs. I keep getting letters addressed to Ms which pisses me off. The GP surgery always address their letters and texts this way although I have repeatedly asked them to call me Mrs.

OP, of course YANBU.

But given the nature of your thread, it's only a matter of time before the commencement of that incessant refrain 'I couldn't get worked up about that ...'.

Oh. Too late.

I would always use a parent's title.
The mum of a parent I used to teach asked me to call her by her first name. To me it just felt weird!

Its hypocritical because marriage is an institution steeped in misogyny, so I don't understand why someone who is so passionate about not being given the title that denotes their marital status would actually want to get married in the first place.

I get it you think my posts are pointless. Thanks

You did a Phd to change your title?