Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

[candragonsbepurple]

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

He would be gone so fast his arse wouldn't know what kicked it.

Not his house, not his children, not his WiFi. Tell him to fuck off. Also perfectly reasonable to allow your child to stay upstairs if they weren't feeling well. Sitting watching everyone else eat might have just made them feel worse.

End things with the man and show your children that they come first. He was controlling and unreasonable.

Also his mum should teach her son some respect.

He should 100% stay an ex boyfriend- the big bully!

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table.
How dare he! Bully. And assuming authority that isn't his. Get rid.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.
How wrong can a man be? Look at what he's doing - claiming your inheritance as his own.

I ended up kicking my partner out
Sensible woman. Well done. Keep him out.

now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.
Not her business. She can fuck the fuck off. Get rid of 'partner' (10 month boyfriend) and with him, his mother.

Letting this man into your children's lives was a mistake. But you sent him away, and if you keep him away, that will be much better.

You did the right thing, please don’t bring this horrible man back into your children’s lives. No relationship is worth damaging your relationship with your children. Or worse, damaging your children emotionally overall.

Mn has a great word for this breed. Cocklodger I believe. Well done op for getting rid.

Honestly, block him and his horrible mother, get them out of your childrens’ lives.

Under his roof but it isn't his house. Nope ick. Gross, your well rid!

What an utter cunt! As literally everyone else has said - don't ever let him back into your home or your life. And his stupid mother can fuck right off as well. Your children deserve far, far more than some useless wanker throwing his weight around in YOUR house.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect

How are you in the middle?

Surely he's now an ex & so he & his mum have now been blocked?

He cut the wifi that you pay for in your own house because your son did something that he didn't like?

So he thinks fuck all of you as well?

He would be my ex by now-put your kids first.

can you imagine if you lived together what that would be like? And you would end up losing your home as it sounds like he is an entitled prick and would go after it in any split. And tell his mother to fuck off and keep her nose out as it is literally fuck all to do with her how you look after your own children

9 pages later and I don't think it's too far of a stretch to say op was not being unreasonable. 😁

This. Dump him yesterday OP.

Leave him. He sounds awful.

There are so many things that your "partner" did that are red flags to me.

1. Decided that somehow or other that because he is male, the house that he is living in is his and he gets to set the groundrules.
2. Following on from 1 above, that children that he has not adopted and has no legal position over, were to follow HIS rules
3. Following on from 2 above, that he divulged what went on to his mother, and she is now being one of his flying monkeys trying to get you back on his side (which is all sorts of wrong).
4. Not apologising to your son
5. Not apologising to you

They are the top 5 things that just off the top of my head I can see that he's done wrong here.

Ditch him. He is not a positive influence in your lives. For all of his failings, and I don't know the background and circumstances over why you divorced your Ex, but your Ex is coming across better here than this specimen is.
While your partner is out of your house, I'd go through the house, room by room and bag/box up everything that was his and leave it out on the front porch for his mother to collect (seeing as how he has involved her, she might actually be of some use to you). If she doesn't collect, they'll be going out on the next bin collection day and then throw the stuff out.

Dump him. Take a moment to be glad that he showed his true colours before you enmeshed him any further in your child’s life. Don’t introduce your next boyfriend to your children so quickly and don’t be so quick to describe them as a ‘partner’ when they are clearly nothing of the sort.

"Under my roof" is telling. He thinks he has a right to your house, and to lord it over you and your DC.

Well done for kicking him out, I hope you keep him out, he's a controlling bully.

Lucky escape, get rid entirely. The entitlement of thinking it's HIS house after 10 months and he doesn't even live there... then mummy steps in and fights his corner. It would only get worse, probably much worse.

You're not unreasonable in the slightest. If anyone came into my home and started going on about rules under their roof as though my home was theirs I'd cut them loose, never mind how he treated your son.

Bit concerning that he sees fit to act this way after 10 months. Honestly I'd end it.

At last, a woman who put her child first before a man. Well done on kicking him out and reminding whose house he was standing in. Ignore his mother, non of her business how you parent your children.
Don’t let him back into your life.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect

This is the bit that really matters. That's not just a red flag it's a whole lot of red bunting in itself!

ditch him.

Big red flag. He’s a control freak - you’ve had a lucky escape. He doesn’t live with you, and even if he did, it’s not HIS roof, and he doesn’t get to overrule your parenting of your children, and he certainly doesn’t get to decide on punishment. Massive overstep and now you’ve kicked him out l’d keep it that way - imagine the level of control if he really got his feet under the table. I’d be telling his mum where to go too.

Your boyfriend tried to dominate you, your child and the house! He doesn't even own it, nor is he even married to you! At least you have a taste of how he would treat you, after marriage. What a horrible pathetic man, be glad you saw his true colours and get rid of him.