Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

[candragonsbepurple]

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

Brilliant

I actually agree, but if you try to suggest that basically it's best for the kids if the main custodial parent stays functionally single until the kids are legally adults you initiate a pile on.

There are SO many instances of men harming children of single mothers, hunting out single mothers to gain access to kids and just generally being awful to them. And the wicked stepmother trope came about for a reason.

Not to mention even when both sets of families are basically decent people blended families rarely work well.

We were sold a lie with the Brady Bunch - but heaven help you if you try to talk about that, the hurtyfeels pile on faster than you can say eMpOwErMeNt.

@Eyeroll2024 when I read OPs like this I just can't get my head around it.

I'm a single mum, I can and do date, when I feel like it, I don't believe single mums have to stay single. But there is no reason at all for children to have to be around this at all. I've never introduced anyone to my children and likely never will because I don't think it's best for them, it's often what is convenient for the adults involved with little thought to the children. I mean 10months, really?! The situation as described should never even have happened

Why even question this? This is an automatic Get Rid. And how long did you know him before you moved him in? I don't like the sound of him at all.

I also suspect you still carry a flame for your ex and your current Dickhead can sense this, making him insecure.

Agree. By functionally single I meant looking after her kids without moving a man in, should have made that clear.

And I agree with other posters that there is no "in the middle" here. You should not be listening to some woman on the subject of protecting your children. She raised this clown, it's evident she doesn't know how to raise decent men.

I just feel incredibly sad for your poor son, having to tolerate that ranting bully. Poor, poor kid.

If some cock lodger had done this to my step kids my DH would have ripped his head off.

Tell the CL and his mother to go fuck each other and have a nice day.

Seriously why are you on here asking about this. Is your self esteem so low that you need to check you did the right thing?

You make an excellent point. I wish I had said this to my ex mother in law

Don't let him move in with you, like ever.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect

Do not have any more contact with him - block him

Do not have any more contact with his Mum - block her

Always put your children first, always

You sound like a great mum. Drop your ‘partner’ like a stone for you and your kids’ sake.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

Well he's clearly a prize donkey but I have to ask why have you brought him into your home and kids' lives so soon? 10 months is no time at all in which to get to really know someone, as you are now finding out.

By the way some people on here are nice some pretty rude. You don’t need to ‘come back’ here but just know you already did the right thing. You stood up for yourself and your son. Your boy will remember that at the end of the day. You’re raising him well. And I notice that you’d already told your partner it was fine. Well you know something that’s him trampling all over you not just your son. This would only get worse, you knew it, you kicked him out. Now lay down some ground rules if you want to keep on seeing him - no more in your i house - he doesn’t see your kids. You date but nothing more. He doesn’t get to tell you how to parent or insert himself into your kids lives. (But hopefully you just drop him!)

OP are you coming back? Or did you not expect the replies telling you he should now be your ex? I really hope you’re not going to continue this relationship with such an abusive, controlling man. You deserve better and your kids certainly do.

Never, ever, let this man back into YOUR house. And never, ever, let him have any contact with your children. And respond with ‘fuck off’ to his mother, then block her.

Edited to say, you MUST put your children above this excuse of a man, and actions speak, words don’t.

Your son needs to learn that dinner time is dinner time, all of us have been there.
Your BF, his roof and whatever other things he things he have or is entitled to can go to a ditch.

Remind him and his mum that what happens under YOUR roof is your business not theirs.
Dump him, luckily you've found out his true colours before moving him in.

Pathetic cocklodger, and a nasty controlling one at that. It’s your house and your WiFi, they’re your children, and your rules.

Hopefully he’s an ex by now. His mum saw you coming and hoped you’d take this man-child off her hands.

And this is why I would never in a million years move a man into my children's home. Not if it was Jesus himself.

Did you actually even read the post before jumping to criticise? OP’s son was feeling unwell earlier on and therefore didn’t want to come down for dinner. Perfectly acceptable

Better to fund out now. The relationship would be over for me.

Op I’ve been the child that had to live with this type of bullying behaviour. It has been hugely damaging, even 30+ years after not seeing him.
Please don’t let this man back into your life.

Wow. Who the fuck does he think he is?! 😂 and getting his mummy involved…

Tel him not to come back.

Move on already!!!! Do you really need us to tell you that a man gets to dictate how you parent your child in your own home is a dick? If you want to damage the relationship between you and your son and disrupt the relationship your son has with his father, then carry on.