To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

[Hartley99]

There are quite a few documentaries about this on YouTube. The guy is usually ugly or boring or nerdy (usually all three). He claims to be ‘looking for love,’ when in reality, of course, he’s looking for a sexual partner. So he goes online and searches for girls in poor countries - often Thailand or Russia. In almost every case the girl is younger and/or much more attractive than him.

Recently, there was a documentary on channel 4, and I ended up having an argument with someone at work about it. They thought the whole thing was ‘sweet’ and funny and couldn’t see anything wrong. To them it made sense. The guy got to have sex with a girl out of his league, and the girl got to move to a richer country with more opportunities. To me it just seemed revolting. However you spin it, they are taking advantage of her poverty. They know that she wouldn’t look twice at them in any other circumstance. Apparently, after the invasion of Ukraine there was a massive spike in men looking for Ukrainian brides online. I mean that says it all. Or am I being uptight and judgemental?

Maybe Trumps wife loves him ? Ever considered that ? Just a thought 💭

Well said

I've lived in Asia and travelled throughout. I've never understood what is in it for a young, beautiful Asian girl to marry some older, boring, British bloke. It is not as if they are loaded too. I used to work in recruitment, and I came across loads of men in their 50's temping and working contracts to suit themselves so they could flit off to Thailand to see their wife for 3 months a year.

When they get here, these women aren't living in luxury. Their husbands are not loaded and lavishing them with gifts. They are probably in a one bed flat on some dodgy estate with him. I don't understand why you would swap the poverty of your own country, with the richness of your own family and friends, to live with someone here, only to potter round the shops in the pissing rain. It's no trade off IMO.

When I lived in Asia, we used to do a hobby with this expat guy. He had never had a girlfriend, was morbidly obese, and in his 60's. He hooked up with my friends live in maid, a stunning looking woman, 40 years his junior. They had 2 DC and came to live in the UK. He then snuffed it and she inherited a couple of million off his assets and insurance and went back to live in her own country.

As an aside, I completely agree with you. 'Uglinesess' is used so pejoratively, and those with facial disfigurement are subject to such abuse and cruelty.
Do you know about Changing Faces? A charity that exists to give those with facial disfigurement tools to deal with the sit they get, and to educate the public

And you would go for an 'ugly' person as your first choice of partner
Come off it, admit it or not, we all look for a 'good looking' person before we settle for 'personality', no matter what you say
Get off your very high horse

it's relevant because you are making a big thing about male behaviour, whilst being very disparaging about their appearance. I am pointing out that this equally applies to women using your attitude (i.e. that they have to be ugly and old)
And I so admire your attempt at mind-reading... you would 'bet' that my words gave me a buzz. I'll take that bet, but lovey, don't project your inadequacies onto others

Op if you dislike men who xxxx...
Why were you watching videos about this subject ?
Watch something else

When I lived in Singapore my female colleagues would openly talk about wanting the 5 C's; cash, credit, car, condo and club and finding a man to give it to them. I was quite surprised by this as Singaporean women are highly educated, and many have great jobs.

I lived over there for nearly 20 years, so saw a lot. Some of our male friends married locals and other Asian ladies, and some worked out, some didn't. Some seemed to be charmed, but once married, things changed a lot. Some of them were expected to finance their new in-laws crazy ventures and expected to shell out thousands to help extended family and if they didn't they were given the cold shoulder by their wives. I think they went into the marriages for love, but then found out that actually they were their ATM machine.

And my point is that the behaviour of some women is entirely irrelevant to a discussion about the exploitation of women. You come on to a thread about women's exploitation and your only contribution to that is to attack another group of women, gleefully using the most derogatory descriptions you can think of knowing for once you might get away with it. Just as you then accuse me of 'inadequacies', (what does that even mean? That I may not be attractive enough to be 'adequate' myself? Who cares what I look like? I'm not the subject of the thread) you have no defence of these men so you're mounting an attack on women in lieu.

My neighbour only goes for younger Russians and flashes his assets at them (he's actually going bankrupt and needs to start selling off....)

Maybe she thought he was really charming when he was wooing her?

Plenty of women on MN who end up with abusive partners initially thought they were charming.

Again, you believe you know what I was thinking; i.e. you think I 'gleefully' typed derogatory descriptions. That is where you are projecting your inadequacy - i.e. it is something you would do because you cannot think of any other reason that I would write the post I did.
It is nothing to do with attractiveness and just shows how incompletely you understood my posts
Too simplistic to say I am attacking women rather than defending men - again, you wilfully misunderstood. I am not the only pp who has mentioned women doing the same thing abroad. I am not defending such men - I am just saying that women are just as bad.
And I am calling out the use of old, bald and ugly to generalise such men by generalising about such women - the double standards

I'm sure that there was one couple that worked out.

The woman was slightly older than most in the group, ran businesses and had a daughter. The bloke was more shy than creepy, and just seemed to be trying to match with one woman unlike the other blokes in the group.

I saw an update online about 2 years ago and they were still married with the woman running businesses in the US.

I think you're deliberately being disingenuous here!

Nobody begrudges unattractive men if they get married and have children. Lots of my friends are happily married to men that may traditionally been seen as 'unattractive'. Attractiveness can transcend the physical or monetary and encompass the intangible such as humour, charisma and intelligence. Beauty and attractiveness is literally in the eye of the beholder and I believe that if most people put their best foot forward, are realistic and work to be their best selves that they can be attractive. This is where I believe the sticking point is though for many men.

They don't want to put in the work to make themselves attractive or they believe that they should be able to attract any woman that they fancy. They may be a middle aged, overweight slob but they think a young, beautiful 20 year old woman should be considering them as a life partner. It is a ridiculous proposition and one only needs to reverse the sexes in the scenario for men to understand this. Would a young handsome man be considering this kind of woman?

The 'nice guys' in Thailand etc aren't quite so nice when you consider that they are effectively buying a bride as if they are a commodity. The women often have limited English so can't assess the man's (lack of) personality, wit or charm and the men don't care about this. They aren't looking for a wife that can also be a best friend and equal. They want someone they can dominate and control. Someone they can buy. The men kid themselves that these women can somehow break millions of years of evolution and overlook obvious defects in these men because they are somehow 'different'. They aren't different, they are desperate. It is not empowering for them to marry these men and be trapped in loveless marriages. These men are disgusting as they exploit vulnerable women and do a great disservice to women everywhere.

I can categorically assure you I would never describe women as you did gleefully or otherwise. So it's not at all something I would do. I can think of a number of reasons why you'd type what you did, as posts like yours appear with tedious regularity on these threads. The motivation is always the defence of men. No matter how bad the behaviour or how harmful to women, people who post like you always put defending men front and centre. There are various devices you use to do this. From picking up on women's language to criticise as a diversion, to spreading false information that maligns women, to conveniently ignoring the differences between men and women and pretending you can flip the sexes and the circumstances will be the same, and the most basic of all, the 'women do it too' defence. So, yes, I understand fully why you wrote what you did. What I don't understand is your desperation to defend men, if you're a woman that is.

Being "ugly" in looks doesn't necessarily mean ugly in character. Some absolute adonis types I have met have turned out to be utterly arseholes, and some.who would be deemed ugly have great personalities, warm and generous . But it always seems to be the arsehole who gets the girl.
As long as these women are treated with respect and not kept as a house slave with no outside life and interests, I see no problem with this

@5128gap I cannot be bothered to discuss with you any further. Far too tedious, and I have a country to run.
Wishing you health, happiness and fun in your life

I think you mis-understand the term "league". "League" in the vernacular is a to do with comparing one individual's attractiveness with another.

There is no "world league of relationship attraction tables" as you suggest.

It is simply comparing one individual with another.

Well said

But you are ignoring the possibility that perhaps some men go there to find love and happiness as women in the west will not give them
a second look.

I fail to see how that is "disgusting "

you need to get off your moral high horse🤔

Credit to you for knowing when it's time to throw the towel in! The same to you.🙂

Over the years I noted in supermarkets that often men who were a lot older with much younger ladies and often have babies etc, the ladies I guess where from Thialand

These days, you are getting eatern block girls, most are tall, blue eyed, blonde and appear fit, but these ladies are with men of their own age

It is their life and if both sides are happy, why not?

Men who do this.. men who travel to Thailand on holiday for dodgy reasons.. men who use prostitutes.. OnlyFans.. men who creep on younger women.. ones who go with younger women.. are all cretins in my eyes. They get looked down on as the scum they are.
My poor friend just found out her old dad goes to Thailand to have sex with young women. She's stopped going to see him

I just read your post having posted. I totally agree with you.

IMO, some people may get jealous

There are many documentaires where ladies from the UK go for sex - I can post a link if anyone does not think that is a fact - but google it - I'm talking about on the whole, older ladies, its well documents - what about that? I see no problem as long as both sides are happy

Why on earth won't any western women give them a second look? Western women aren't some homogeneous group that areall looking for the same thing. There are plenty of women that have conventionally 'unattractive' husbands so what is wrong with these men that no western woman will give them a chance?

If they are genuinely completely repellent then I believe is only possible if they have made no attempt to work on themselves. Even the ugliest men can find wives, so I assume that it is most likely to be a character or behavioural flaw. If this is the case then that is their fault and they shouldn't be inflicting themselves on any woman until they do the work. These is nothing magical about women from other countries that would suddenly make these repellent people attractive other than money. If you are using money to buy a wife then you are exploitative and a bad person.

More likely, the western women these men like don't give them a second look. Again, I go back to the old, middle aged, overweight man wanting a young, beautiful wife. This is just biology and evolution and not discriminatory. Most people find youth and beauty attractive but we all have to be realistic as to who will be a good match for us. By definition, these traits are fleeting and rare so men and women need to look beyond this if most want to find partners. It isn't acceptable to go and buy a wife that has these things. That is disgusting and exploitative.

I also think a good chunk of these 'nice' men don't like to be challenged by these nasty western women who aren't willing to defer to the men. Once again a mail order bride appeals to disgusting misogynistic men who think they can reverse decades of feminism through importing a woman from abroad.