School lunches - reception - please help!

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Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

Have you actually seen a primary school menu?

There's no right or wrong answer, do what works for you and your child.

I can’t see a 4 year old happily tucking into left over cold lasagne or stir fry while their mates eat hot pizza and ice cream. Yes it’s not ideal nutritionally, but make sure their dinner is good and it’s fine. Otherwise you’re signing up for years of making sandwiches and buying the same processed crap to match their mates lunch boxes

With packed lunches you will need to pay attention to other children's allergies so it is almost a given you won't be able to put egg or nuts in your child's lunchbox.

I think you’re obsessing. School dinners aren’t amazing and it is a shame but it is free and it is hot and most kids will have them ( as free and who really can turn down free just now?) you should find out the menu and also if packed lunches join dinners in the hall or they eat somewhere else. As long as you feed a decent dinner and fruit and veg then I don’t really see the problem. Packed lunches are a right royal pain tbh!

I would definitely have a look into the menu, ours generally don't have frozen or fried foods (edited from certainly dont as they sometimes have fish fingers or vegetable nuggets on a friday)
The pudding they have is fruit, sometimes a yoghurt and on a special event will get a cookie or sponge cake.

We do a split of school meals and packed lunch, I show the kids what the options are for the day and then they let me know

I take leftovers to work and microwave them. They wouldn't be very nice cold.

The puddings are often tiny and low sugar - DD usually refuses anything that is cake for that reason.

Pack lunch can be pretty simple, filled roll, fruit, carrots/cherry toms/cucumber then maybe raisins or other dried fruit or a small amount of cereal like Cheerios? I'd say if your child is saying they really want dinners and getting kind of jealous of the others then you could switch next term. But tell the staff only fruit or whatever for pudding except once a week. And still give them a snack pack of veg and raisins etc for breaktime.

Yes, I made the thread because I actually just saw the school menu.

Every day it has pasta or potatoes as separate options - meaning a kid can eat every day pasta or potatoes and that's fine.

Then there is a meat and a veggie option which are both things like sausages (i.e. processed meat) or meat free chilli topped wedges (again fried potatoes and god knows how many emulsifiers/E things are in this meet free chill dish) or pizza or fish fingers (again fried) ... and then always brownies, cheesecake , custard... every day!!!

Sorry for the moan but it's crazy that a 4.5 year old is offered desserts every day and not at a special occasion.

School lunches are balanced and healthy at our school. They have chip day once a week. Which is fine and the kids love it. Meat free Mondays. Plenty of veg and salad. No processed food aside from chip day. I think you’re overthinking. Just go with the free and easy option

It might be different in Scotland, but our school dinners are nothing like what you've mentioned. My daughter only goes on the days it is something she likes though. Do you have to commit? Can you not do both?

Our school lunches are fantastic.
You sound very judgemental. Stick to packed lunches and do the kitchen staff a favour.

School isn’t an office, she won’t be able to reheat her leftovers in the communal microwave and cold last night’s dinner sounds pretty grim tbh unless it’s something that lends itself to being eaten that way eg pasta salad. I also thought school puddings feature a lot of fruit/yoghurt and when it is something baked they’re mostly sweetened with fruit these days. Personally I’d look at the menu and maybe do a mix, but definitely lay off the leftovers.

I agree that you’re getting a bit het up over nothing. Most schools go to great lengths to offer kids a “salad bar” option in addition to the hot food menu, and don’t serve puddings (egads!) five days a week. At least half of the week is just yoghurt/fruit. That’s certainly been the case with my kids’ school.

But if you’re that worried about your child eating school dinners, yes, you’ll have to deal with the hassle of daily packed lunches.

A massive faff and will kill you?

Takes me about 10 minutes to do two kids lunches. Do them the night before and put them in the fridge for the next day

You do realise the puddings don't contain sugar and aren't actually that nice.

I would absolute go for school lunches. I have had two dc in 2 different primary schools over the years and definitely what you've described is not what they've been fed for lunch. Standard lunches from this past week include:

cottage pie with veg
BBQ chicken wrap with salad
sausages and mash with peas
salmon fingers with chips and peas
roast pork with roast potatoes and veg
chickpea and veg curry with rice and naan

Pudding is fruit (sliced kiwi seems to be a big hit with my 6 year old this week) or yoghurt, except on special occasions they might have a piece of cake or a flapjack or something like that. They also have raw fruit and veg for a mid-morning snack every day.

There is also always the option of ham/cheese/tuna mayo roll with salad or jacket potato with tuna/beans/cheese and salad for the less adventurous eaters.

It's certainly much healthier than the bags of processed stuff everyone seems to send in who has packed lunches.

But would you really choose to feed your small child pizza and ice cream (as you say, or whatever other poor offerings are on the menu that week) just because that's what other children are having? Five lunches a week? I wouldn't do that myself, and definitely wouldn't want to do that for my child.

OP, I think you are right to be wary of what the school might choose to feed its children. Now is a good time to build good eating habits for your child. And just because he will have a packed lunch doesn't mean he can't have a "treat" as part of his lunch if you want him to, so it's not as though he's going to be missing out on anything by not having the food the school provides.

Is your boy a robust kind of character? He's not going to feel uncomfortable for having a decent and healthy lunch when his friends are having pizza and chips, or whatever it is that day?

I get the point some said re packed lunch kids sitting elsewhere. This is something to consider and keep in mind, thank you!

As for the microwaved lunch - everything is a matter of getting used to it... and if you are hungry you will eat it despite not being served hot.

I don’t think you have a very good relationship with food.

DD is at nursery now with a very healthy packed lunch, she starts school this September too. She is having the school dinners at school - at least to start with. At home we will prepare a healthy evening meal.

If she doesn’t like the school dinners (unlikely) then we will review then. But I don’t have any problem with the school dinner menu. Potatoes and pasta isn’t the devil and neither is the pudding. It’s not super amazing but also not complete shite.

This is the sample menu at our local schools
https://primarysite-prod-sorted.s3.amazonaws.com/empingham-ce-primary-school/UploadedDocument/80518cd0-0f9a-41ec-82f6-096433602815/spring-2024-menu.pdf

I would assume wedges are baked rather than fried - both in terms of it being easier and healthier. Can you do a mix or do you have to commit to all school dinners or all packed lunches?

I wouldn't stress this much about it tbh. If you'd prefer to make a packed lunch then do that but your DC may ask for hot lunches so they can have the same as their friends.

Taking leftovers to work is fine but not practical for school unless it can be eaten cold. You're looking at wraps sandwiches etc in the main.

Also be prepared for them to eat some crap anyway. When mine had packed lunches I'd send them in with a healthy lunch and they'd come home with uneaten fruit and veg sticks but empty chocolate wrappers that they'd got off their friends and eaten.

Cold leftovers are not appetising.

Your child may not eat them.

(My child refused to eat school dinners and went hungry at lunch for at least a term).

You will be contacted by school if you are sending in food and your child won't eat anything (because the school want your child to be fed!)

As for the microwaved lunch - everything is a matter of getting used to it... and if you are hungry you will eat it despite not being served hot.

What a kind, caring parent you are

You can get food flasks which keep lunch hot until lunchtime. I used to give my kids packed lunch when during covid the school were only offering cold food. It was mainly the previous nights leftovers which I’d heat up in the morning. If you’re happy to make up the lunches then go for it. One advantage is the kids don’t have to queue for their lunch so they have longer to eat and then play.