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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School lunches - reception - please help!

194 replies

Stickerchart · 21/03/2024 12:40

Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

OP posts:
snoopyfanaccountant · 21/03/2024 23:52

My DDs are now at uni so school meals aren't an issue for us. As a household we eat homecooked meals (my DDs had food allergies as small children so I had no choice; thankfully I enjoy cooking) but I never had an issue with the school meal menu.
At primary school they were offered soup with unlimited bread, a main with unlimited salad and a pudding or fruit (puddings would be yoghurt, baking full of fruit/veg or very occasionally ice cream). The three week rolling menu included salmon, chilli, jacket potatoes, spag bol, mince, meatballs, breaded fish, macaroni cheese, curry and pizza. The biggest issue was the portion sizes; a friend reverted to packed lunches when her P1 came out of school starving after having had a school lunch; the same portion was given to the P7s!

Perpetualstateofchaos · 22/03/2024 00:02

CatStoleMyChocolate · 21/03/2024 22:40

I actually see where you’re coming from in some ways but I would still start out with school lunches. As someone mentioned up thread, it’s not just about the food, it’s the whole experience of communal eating, and potentially broadening their palate depending on what kind of an eater they are.

I don’t think your concerns are unfounded, actually - we’re in England and the standard of our DC’s school lunches has slipped in the last year to the point parents are commenting - smaller portions, less nice food, clearly some cost-cutting going on there.

There is a daily pudding (not necessarily fruit/yogurt - some kind of “chocolate sauce” at least once a week), which I found frustrating at first as my DC then started asking for pudding at home. It’s not the actual sugar content, it’s the habit-forming. And there are some bloody weird combinations - pizza with a side of plain pasta, anyone? Quorn hot dog and pasta?

But overall, in reception, I’d start with school lunches and see how you get on.

They are very weird combinations. Pasta is a main not a side, as i cook id query that menu if it was sent to me.

Notlikeamother · 22/03/2024 08:16

Rainallnight · 21/03/2024 23:08

This sounds awful. No one likes cold main course leftovers - why would you expect your own child to ‘get used to it’?

If you want to go down the packed lunch route, then you actually have to make her a proper lunch.

Show quote history

Some people do like cold main course leftovers.

HangingOver · 22/03/2024 08:22

Excuse me what in the heck is wrong with Fish Fingers? I was born in the 80s and I was raised on these bad boys 🤣

AuntyMabelandPippin · 24/03/2024 14:32

wordler · 21/03/2024 20:31

LOL - have you not read any of the threads on how hard it is to get stuff by the lunch police at schools now adays - you can't just give them what they want!

Show quote history

I work in a school.

We don't police packed lunches.

TrustPenguins · 24/03/2024 15:15

AuntyMabelandPippin · 24/03/2024 14:32

I work in a school.

We don't police packed lunches.

Show quote history

It does vary across schools but why shouldn't school 'police' packed lunches? Some of the ones I've seen are horrendous. It's not OK to give a child a full pack of biscuits or just a bag of crisps for their lunch. Yes, these are extreme examples but if the parent isn't providing a healthy, nutritious meal, the school does often feel it needs to do something.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 25/03/2024 16:14

Because some children can only eat certain foods due to their needs, and we can't interfere with that.

Obviously we try to persuade them to try the free school meals, or a bit of them, but that's all we can do.

Ivee · 25/03/2024 16:18

School dinners are crap, and not enough for growth spurting children.

It is not hard at all to cook pasta in the morning, pour a dash of oil/pesto over it, and throw on some chopped salad and cheese.

I did packed lunches for many years and it was no problem at all. School dinners give too little nutrition, are bad for teeth, and the staff teach the kids to associate pudding with a reward. It’s very sad.

https://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2024-03-13/headteacher-apologises-for-unacceptable-food-served-at-his-school#

TrustPenguins · 25/03/2024 22:04

AuntyMabelandPippin · 25/03/2024 16:14

Because some children can only eat certain foods due to their needs, and we can't interfere with that.

Obviously we try to persuade them to try the free school meals, or a bit of them, but that's all we can do.

Special / additional/ medical needs are different. Of course we need to manage those. But there are no needs where a pack of biscuits can be the only packed lunch option.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/03/2024 12:27

I guess there could be someone whose only packed lunch option is biscuits, @TrustPenguins, but it would be almost vanishingly rare, and the parents would surely tell the school in advance, so, in reality, I would judge, if a child was regularly being sent to school with just a packet of biscuits for lunch.

Bellaboo01 · 26/03/2024 12:31

Stickerchart · 21/03/2024 12:40

Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

Do whatever you want fir your child.

Where on earth have you read that doing a 4 year old a packed lunch will 'kill you'? It really isnt that deep. 😂

MBappse · 26/03/2024 12:40

Please don't call the school in March about menu options and flexibility for a child starting Reception in September.

Hoplolly · 26/03/2024 13:44

MBappse · 26/03/2024 12:40

Please don't call the school in March about menu options and flexibility for a child starting Reception in September.

This.

They'll be plenty of info in time. We also got invited in to try school lunches in the term before.

Sharptonguedwoman · 27/03/2024 21:12

Bambi1609 · 21/03/2024 12:45

I would definitely have a look into the menu, ours generally don't have frozen or fried foods (edited from certainly dont as they sometimes have fish fingers or vegetable nuggets on a friday)
The pudding they have is fruit, sometimes a yoghurt and on a special event will get a cookie or sponge cake.

We do a split of school meals and packed lunch, I show the kids what the options are for the day and then they let me know

Edited

Nothing wrong with lots of frozen foods- peas, runner beans etc. Same nutritional value. Nothing fried, there go fish and chips. Sounds a bit joyless.

Mrssheepskin · 27/03/2024 21:45

DragonFly98 · 21/03/2024 12:53

You do realise the puddings don't contain sugar and aren't actually that nice.

Our definitely contain sugar!

Mrssheepskin · 27/03/2024 21:50

potato57 · 21/03/2024 16:19

Bread maker bread tastes awful. If you're going to make it from scratch make it properly. I guarantee your kids will be obsessing over non-bread-maker-bread in their adult lives, they'll never want to eat it again.

Show quote history

How can fresh homemade bread taste awful!? Maybe the bread maker bread you’ve had/made tasted awful… mine certainly doesn’t (and my kids definitely prefer it to shop bought bread!)

Tagyoureit · 27/03/2024 21:54

Primary schools take their food pretty seriously, at least ours and other local schools, do!

I volunteer for the pta at my school and they won't even let us sell sweets at events!

Which company is supplying your school food?

Mummame2222 · 27/03/2024 21:56

Mocparty · 21/03/2024 12:44

With packed lunches you will need to pay attention to other children's allergies so it is almost a given you won't be able to put egg or nuts in your child's lunchbox.

nut free school, all other allergies ok.

Mrssheepskin · 27/03/2024 22:02

To be honest, I have similar concerns to the OP. I’ve seen the school menu ours offers and it’s pretty rubbish. The ingredients lists are ridiculously long and full of crap with mostly sugary puddings each day too. I suppose it’s luck on what caterers you have.

Luckily ours let us pick and choose each day so I will probably go for a mix of packed lunches and dinners each week depending on what’s on offer if they want it.

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