School lunches - reception - please help!

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Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

Depending on school rules you may NOT be allowed to chop and change between the 2 as some sre saying they can. All our local primaries expect st least a week and 2 schools have it for half a term, no changing.
Also saying tell staff no dessert except once a week. Dinner/school staff do NOT have the time to be doing that (unless allergy specific/risk assessment highlight) . My dh is a HT and he helps in the dinner room every day. Their lunches run from 11.45 (reception) until 1.10 and they have 450 kids to get through. BTW their lunches are cooked on site and are lovely.
I never worried about school dinners as I knew I was cooking at home, and when I was teaching (infants) I went with FED is best, and that included pretty unhealthy packed lunches from some kids at time ( we did have some restrictions ie no fizzy pop or chocolate bars )

Email the school for menu, (it may be available on their website) so you can see what they are providing. Can you do a mix of meals and packed lunch?

Also ask if there's a lunch box policy (some are incredibly strict).

Our school is currently on a two week menu rotation, changing each term. There's a 'meat' or 'veg' and jacket potato option. There is a dessert offered everyday but they are small portions.

My daughter was a picky eater, having school lunches meant she tried meals she maybe wouldn't have at home.

Having seen how kids responded to a child who had taken in pasta and pesto for their lunch (Urgh, she's eating green stuff!, what's that green? etc.) I'd let them have school dinners. They can have jacket potato every day and dodge the processed food, but our school only does battered fish / fish fingers on Friday so there may be less than you think.

Thankfully my boy is a good eater, unlike his younger sister!

He eats whatever we eat, never made a separate dish for kids. I am more like this is what we have today, if you don't want it that's fine you don't have to it, but also there is no alternative.

At the moment they go to the nursery and we have asked no puddings/no processed meat/no tuna (because of mercury) and we have no complaints from him. He happily eats his cheese wrap while his friend has a jam wrap or a ham wrap!

Why is some form of potato or pasta every day a big deal? That's pretty normal. I eat a portion of carbs like that every day.

Would you happily eat cold risotto or stir fry for lunch? It’s a bit mean to make your DC eat it. Either give him an actual packed lunch with food that is supposed to be served cold, or let him have school dinner with his friends.

Is there any mention of vegetables being served as part of the lunches? The things you mention are bad enough, but without any vegetables, well, I'd keep my child well away from such a menu.

The people who are saying it's not that bad and OP must have a poor relationship with food, maybe the problem is with you. We are quite conditioned, I think, to accept shit food and think it is normal.

Do you order the food, or do they chose on the day? If you order in advance, you can pick the healthiest option each day.

Saying that... I've never found packed lunches a faff. They take 5 minutes. They can be prepped the night before.

I am not always keen on what is on the menu and my daughter often chooses a wrap instead but don't you think you are over reacting a bit? Maybe loosen up a little?

I can sort of sympathise with this as I don’t like my children eating a lot of rubbish. But I don’t think you can send them with cold leftovers from last night!

I didn't know you can ask schools to refrain giving them puddings! That's a good thing to know, I will call the school to find out details, thank you

I think you sound a little obsessed. What will you do when he is a teen and tucks into Big Mac's and KFC?

@WithACatLikeTread Haha - Haven't thought of that! I guess if he knows that it's unhealthy and healthy food habits are well embedded in him as a kid over the years and he has never seen his parents going for such an option, then he would hopefully be cautious and opt for Bic Mac's or KFC only if there is social pressure by his peers once in a while. In an ideal world...

Be very careful of marking your child out as different to his peers - asking him to miss out desserts while his friends will tuck in...seems rather cruel.
Kids burn so much energy during the day, their breaks etc.
Generations have survived school lunches and turned out with healthy attitudes to food.
I think you are massively overthinking and creating a drama where there is none.

Why is it an obsession to care about what you feed to your children?

By the time they are teenagers they will hopefully have a good understanding of how to eat well, and will understand that they can eat a burger and fries today and there's nothing wrong that, but probably best not to eat it several times a week. But a five-year-old, can't make that judgment and relies on his parents to make decisions about his food.

god knows how many emulsifiers/E things are in this meet free chill dish

Why assume any? We have meat free chilli at home all the time, it's beans, vegetables and a tin of tomatoes.

The pudding thing is fine now he's at nursery but as he gets older and learns to think for himself he's really going to resent it and it's not fair to ask the school to manage it. Did you not have that kid at your school who wasn't allowed sweets or telly because their parents were weird? The ones I knew all went off the rails as soon as they became teenagers, they had no concept of self control or decision making.

I give my little one a thermos which keeps his food warm until lunch so he can have healthy leftovers. Tomorrow he’s having salmon with new potato’s and veg and then I add some salad and fruits bits into a little Tupperware. Amazon have some lovely kids thermos options or there’s a lunchbox you can buy which has an insulated bit in the middle section

You think it's a "drama" to be mindful of what food is fed to a child? The food industry has got most of you where it wants you, it seems. It's fine for adults if that's what they accept, but not really for children who depend on adults to make the right choices for them.

What you need is for your child to ingest some calories so that they remain cheerfully engaged. You will find they get more interested in what friends have and consequently picky where they suddenly love some school meals and hate others. A mix of packed and school lunches can work, and pick the yoghurt and fruit option for most desserts. I really wouldn't overthink a small oat biscuit or carrot cake though, life is much too short for that stress. DS has had all packed lunch in nursery (school nursery didn't offer lunch), full school meals in reception, half/half last term when he objected to certain school meals and now back of full school lunches. I only care that he eats, and bulk out veg in dinners to account for him ignoring steamed healthy veg at school.

I highly recommend a bento box style lunch box to keep the veg and fruit separate from sandwich, some come with a nice yoghurt pot so you can mix your own yoghurt. You'll need a decent one for summer camps, sports days etc regardless.

I think all schools have to consult with nutritionists and their food is as balanced as it can be within their huge constraints. I also think teachers have way too much to deal with day to day than to add in additional pet requests from parents. Honestly if it's such an issue go with packed lunches or a mix 🤷‍♀️
Hence, I don't see an issue!

This week my child has had:

Chickpea Dahl curry
Chilli chicken with rice
Roast gammon, roast potatoes and veg
Margherita pizza and garlic bread
Fish fingers and chips and peas.

They top up from the salad bar as necessary.

That's a pretty decent mix of food, and doesn't demonise any food groups. It's all cooked on site, and the salt, sugar etc is monitored over the course of the week.

A school "cake" is not the same as a cake you would buy in a shop for sugar levels thanks to Jamie Oliver.

They will want to do what their friends do. Wait and see which way that goes.

Mine went through phases of wanting school lunch and not.

They IME don't tend to eat that much anyway, they want to go and play which is why they come out of school hungry.

@Thewildthingsarewithme your poor kid will end up being known as fish boy or something equally as daft. We sent left overs in a thermos, or ramen, or pasta but not fish.

Cold leftovers - really ?

You would eat lasagne or shepherds pie cold

You will if hungry enough

I cba to make packed lunch so mini blondes has school dinners and will when in yr 3 and pay for them

We have a nice menu and some of her fav are lentil pizza / best pizza ever mummy

And their curry - chicken and rice

I think you are being too anal. Most schools make sure have veg and fruit for lunch

Too right!

When DD was in reception I used to send in packed lunches because I planned for her to have her main meal with us in the evening. I used to send in a little pot of hummus with carrot and cucumber sticks - a snack she genuinely liked. But apparently, according to the other kids, it looked like poo!

Anyway I soon found in that first year she was too tired and hungry in the evening to eat with us so I put her on school dinners and cooked something else for her as soon as we got in at about 5:30.

BTW all this pudding hate. I went to school in the 1960s/70s when we had proper pudding and custard every day. Didn't see do many overweight children then though!

It depends on the school but my kids’ (state) school have an on site kitchen where everything is cooked from scratch. Meat free Monday, roast dinner on one day, occasional treat days like burgers or pizza but not even every week. Salad or veg with meals, always a meat free option and some really nice more adventurous stuff like curry, cannelloni, fish pie etc.

As others have said, puddings are tiny and made to specific healthy recipes, so a school brownie is nothing like you’d get in Costa.

I once had a spinach and ricotta cannelloni as I was in a meeting and it was excellent.

Don’t jump on the bandwagon and start criticising the school before you’re even there- ask about the things you’re worried about and make an informed decision. Personally in your position I would give school meals a try but make the evening choices super healthy if you’re worried.

And not sure what you mean by your alternative but just remember that there’ll be 1-2 supervisors at school lunch and no facilities to reheat food, they won’t be able to do that, so unless your evening dinner leftovers can be eaten cold that’s unlikely to be a good idea to streamline things.