School lunches - reception - please help!

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Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

@idontlikealdi he’s three 😂 I think we’re fine. Also, as a teacher, I’ve noticed that children are becoming a lot kinder and certainly aren’t instigating cruel nicknames anymore, maybe a lesson our gen could learn too 😋

Packed lunches aren't an option at DS' school but he has a real variety, every day there is a meat/fish option a veggie option, a pasta or jacket option or a choice of two wraps/sandwiches there is also a salad and fruit bar available every day.
Last week he chose veggie chickpea curry one day with brown rice, roast chicken another with veg, hot black bean and vegetable fajita wrap with side salad and corn cob another, it's better than I'd be giving him in a food flask! Also their puddings are tiny contain no sugar and often have hidden veg, eg the chocolate cake is made with beetroot. They do have ice cream on a Friday but it's one small scoop of vanilla.
It's a standard state school in a mixed socioeconomic area. They also have fruit and milk snack in the mornings.

For real? You'd have a child singled out as not being allowed to eat the same pudding as everyone else?

Great advice thanks all! I will have a look at these lunch boxes.

I know kids (my nephew and a couple of others) that don't watch telly everyday and they don't eat desserts every day and they seem happy and healthy... not aliens!

If only the only way to survive would be to copy others' bad habits.... we would all be smokers, drinkers and heavy substance users! z

Judgement and filtering and teaching a child that it's ok not to follow the mass in order to fit in are great life lessons I think and school lunches a good way to start building confidence, self power and independence!

The nasty food that is out there is everywhere. Even the toast bread if you look at the back says "emulsifiers" meaning that it's processed...

Why don't you look at the school menu first then go from there. You seem convinced it will be full of crap but have you actually seen it. My son attends a state school and the menu is good.

You think a cheese sandwich is healthier than a tuna one?

Oh dear.

A healthy relationship with food isn't formed by banning items completely from your child's diet. Tbh they're likely to want to eat more of it when they're finally given it if they think it's "forbidden".

My DS is in reception and has school lunches because he's very fussy and barely ate for the first few weeks of term. He's 'allowed' a hot lunch too as it's already catered for so sometimes he has chips or whatever with his lunch. He normally has a sandwich or something like cold pizza or a pasta salad. Occasional cous cous and chicken. He's very happy and doesn't want to change to school lunches at the moment although I think he's the only one in his class who takes a packed lunch.

@cadburyegg A cheese sandwich is 100% better than a tuna if you eat cheese everyday or tuna everyday.

Of course, the one off tuna sandwich is not going to do any harm.

At nursery I can't apply the rule "in moderation" which is the right one. It's either a yes or a no! We have the odd tuna at home, he is not missing out.

This is what nutritionists say, it's not made up.

As for the microwaved lunch - everything is a matter of getting used to it... and if you are hungry you will eat it despite not being served hot.
It’s great that you’re all for healthy eating but why so dismissive of it being pleasant to eat? You can do wraps, sandwiches, pasta salad, hummus with veggies to dip as cold options. Pasta cooked that morning with some previously made sauce and put in a thermos. It’s likely that they could also have a jacket potato with cheese and salad followed by fruit for pudding on school dinners, obviously not great everyday but not processed and fine 1-2 times a week. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing between processed school dinners or a cold portion of last night’s salmon stir fry or whatever you typically eat of an evening. Find the middle ground!

'Nasty food'? You are going to need to relax when your child starts school otherwise it will be really stressful for all. There are play dates and birthday parties - you can't always control what your child eats. Pretty much every week my 5 year old runs out of school excitedly clutching a bag of sweets because it was some kid's birthday. What will you do then, take it off them and say they can't have it? Kids want 'nasty food' even more if you are really strict with it.

Don't assume the recipes for the food on the menu. Speak to the providers.

The "cake" (for example) is a very small portion, and will also have very little sugar - normally a fruit or a veg provide the sweetness. They are not sweet cakes like you would buy from a cafe. Plus the kids need some energy! They are growing and running.

Things will not be deep fried on mass, and most things will be made from scratch. Just because some Chilli you buy in the supermarket is full of shite, don't assume the same. That is being very unfair. Get your facts and then make a decision.

And beware of signing your child up for hot lunches, and then imposing restrictions like no dessert. He is getting older, and will notice. As will his peers, who will also comment. It will likely give him food issues. Also the teachers have better things to do then ensure your son doesn't have pudding - there are not the same high ratios as nursery.

What is wrong with a pudding everyday? Many of us have survived into old age having eaten cakes and school puddings The problem is the multitude of children who are driven everywhere and never use their legs to transport them to school.

I can confirm that the puddings and cakes provided as part of school dinners taste and look absolutely nothing like proper puddings and cake.

Worked in education for many years!

If you do do packed lunches please at least use a way of keeping the food hot. Cold leftovers is not great.

@Tarmacadamia I personally wouldn't care if my kid had pudding every day. But surely the parents can tell staff what the kid can and can't have. It's not just medical reasons. The kid will see puddings around all the time so if s/he's not allowed every day then I guess it's better to get used to it. Some kids must be diabetic or on special diets where pudding every day isn't the norm.

Also your assumption that things are bought into school is likely to be very wrong- school canteens are run on a shoestring and they can’t afford a lot of pre-made stuff. If they are serving chilli, lasagne, wedges or curry, I’m 99% sure it will be made from scratch. One thing you might want to check is whether there is an on site kitchen as this can be an indicator that the meals will be pretty good.

Again if you’re worried ask the office staff- they might even let you speak to the chef etc. But don’t judge based on a menu.

The worry about mercury for example seems over reacting. Surely he would be needing to eat a portion every day or several tins to get mercury poisoning. Obviously I wouldn't want my kids eating unhealthy all the time. My daughter has an all day breakfast on the menu which is mad but I wouldn't be worrying about emulsifiers and mercury.

You can smell it as you walk past the schools. 👍

You have food issues. Potato and pasta are not the enemy when part of a balanced diet.

Assuming the school follows the Government standards, ours does, they have a great menu and my daughter loves the lunches, takes pack up very occasionally.
https://www.gov.uk/school-meals-food-standards

I provide packed lunches daily for my children and want to first address the misconception that they eat cold food. I give them a hot meal in a thermos daily throughout winter so they don’t have a cold boring option compared to their peers.

Our school serves steamed/boiled vegetables alongside the pasta/potato option but the children just opt not to take it and that’s that. So they end up having a meal of plain pasta with some butter/olive oil and grated cheese or jacket potato and grated cheese. Likewise for salads - they are there but my children just opt out. When I provide their meals, I have made sure the vegetables are incorporated in a way they like and eat them so it is balanced.

I don’t like them feeling left out so they get a sweet option but one that I’m happy with and is much better for them than the school option.

In terms of hassle, it’s each to their own. I’m making lunch for me and DH so theirs too isn’t onerous. I have a fair few things pre-prepped and frozen for days I am in a rush such as pasta sauces, curries, soups that I take out the night before, heat up and put in thermos. Rest of lunchbox is filled with fruit/breadsticks/crackers and a small sweet item

If the school lunch is that awful and terrible and full of things that you don’t want your daughter eating then you’ll have to make her a packed lunch, won’t you? They’re not going to change the menu for you, so I don’t see the point of the thread.

It’s sounding awfully judgemental about the people who do let their children eat the school lunch, especially as some of those people would be entitled to FSM anyway and potentially would struggle to afford a packed lunch.

These posts always make me feel like a must be a terrible parent….my children have puddings, if they take packed lunch they include a cake bar/lunchbox packet of biscuits, they eat sweets a couple of times a week and they definitely eat pasta and potatoes once a day!

But they are both healthy weights and more importantly have healthy attitudes towards food.

I do a hot packed lunch every day for
my nursery aged child. The same some days for one of my school aged children (the fussier one who doesn’t like a lot of the school dinners - the other one eats them happily). Plus a cold packed lunch for myself.
Making the lunch isn’t a massive faff at all, it’s easy. But I have to admit that when we get home and all the thermoses and Tupperware and whatnot needs cleaning, it does feel a bit faffy.
My packed lunches are definitely healthier and more filling than the school dinners and if I only had one child I think I’d probably encourage them to take a packed lunch daily…

I asked our school and they won't allow thermos or soup mug type things because apparently there is a risk of scalding. As a parent of allergy children who can't have most sandwich fillings, this leaves very few options.

School dinners are almost a million times healthier than what I can get my boys to eat (4&6) from a lunch box. They only have fruit for pudding at our school and a 50% fruit pudding once a week (beetroot brownie/carrot cake etc)