School lunches - reception - please help!

[Stickerchart]

Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

So you are saying that your young child has to eat COLD left overs because if s/he is hungry h/she will eat it.

YUK !

Check with the school re thermoses.

I occasionally supervise lunch and am very happy to open thermoses, pots, etc. My son’s school must be as well, that or he’s never had an issue getting his open.

Wow!

Ha ha ha ha ha you wait until he's earning his own money!

@Stickerchart - I did packed lunches for three dses all through Primary school, and it was a hassle, but perfectly do-able.

You know what your child will eat, but I would advise not putting in leftovers that need heating up to be palatable. It that leaves lots of options - pasta salads, frittata (if egg is allowed at your school), sandwiches or wraps, cold meat and salad, to name a few. Or you could get a vacuum flask and send in soups or stews, in the winter.

I think you need to reframe how you see food to be honest. Personally I don’t think labelling these foods as bad and nasty is fostering a heathly relationship with food. It’s 5 meals a week having lunches at school, not a lot really 🤷🏼‍♀️

Our school lunches are brilliant. They have to work to strict nutritional standards and they manage to make the food appealing too. The pudding is are all low sugar types & there is always fresh fruit, veg & a salad bat available too.

And they're free - you'd be mad not to use them.

Where is your school?! Ours is nothing like that. Everything made on-site, veg with everything. Chips once a week. Baked not fried. Rice and pasta is whole grain. Pudding is fruit with more of a ‘treat’ once a week.

Saying this, you sound very restrictive with food, so best do packed lunch if it will otherwise give you anxiety.

This is my experience too.

It's really not that hard to make a packed lunch daily, I'm currently making 3 a day at the moment.

All my DC have started off on the school meals because it actually gave them a bit of variety to what they had at home. Also packed lunch kids sit separately and most of the younger ones have school dinners so I felt it was good for socialisation. I'v found as they get older most kids start having a packed lunch at least a couple times a week.

The potato is a good safe good for a lot of the children hence it appearing every day. Never heard anyone complaining about it being unhealthy before.

With respect OP I don’t know anyone worrying about mercury levels in tuna certainly not to the extent of worrying about their DC having it in a sandwich. The same with having school desserts. So I don’t think it is particularly normal. I’m afraid you do sound a bit controlling. Nothing wrong with wanting to give your DC healthy choices but this sounds very restrictive & a bit of a killjoy attitude.

Not even then - wait until he's in secondary school and has pocket money or is given money to buy school lunches.

I had the most healthy diet at home - we never had sodas, chips, etc. Very moderate sweets and desserts - apart from my Mum did bake a lot of fruit pies and crumbles but I didn't like those so didn't eat them.

As soon as I was at secondary and could make my own choices I totally went for all the stuff we never normally got to eat.

OP is underestimating peer influence - I don't mean peer pressure, which you can teach a child to be resilient to, but just influence of seeing others doing things a different way, trying it and loving it.

Of course that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight the good fight OP for as long as you can - but I'd temper my expectations that your good example will be able to resist his teenage peers in a few years to come.

You couldn't be more writing about school dinners, you rarely see a packed lunch healthier than a school dinner.

I think school lunches at reception is more than the food tbh.
It's eating something different each day ( didn't apply to youngest dd who had jacket potato cheese and beans every day from R to Yr 4!). Its eating with your peers, taking your plate and cutlery back etc. I'm sure someone has mentioned kids being seated separately. The only time I stopped school dinners was when we moved with our youngest in Year 5 and all her new friends had packed lunch.

Do you give any processed foods at all?

If not then I'd say let him have them and dont feed him processed food at home. Makes it easier to understand school food and home food is different.

But unless you're feeding organic vegan food at every meal, you just need to shift the balance if the scales.

Pudding is often fruit or yoghurt btw.

And you'll need to decide what to do when he is invited to a party every weekend in reception and offered junk food and cake. IMO this is where you let them have the independence and choice and at home you only present options which are acceptable to you.

Mine did.

@Stickerchart packed lunches are no bother- mine just took leftovers and fruit and veg, took minutes to sort while making breakfast.

I feel a bit unsettled by a tiny child being made to eat cold leftovers or being told to navigate thermoses possibly without assistance (like school staff don't have enough to do in the day) when so extremely young. Particularly when there is a nutritionally appropriate, hot and balanced meal made available that their peers will be eating and which to do otherwise would mark them out as being different socially.

It seems to be a focus on the parent's ego rather than the child's need.

Cold lasagne? Really?

I am a primary school cook. All menus are done by a specialist team and have to meet certain nutrition requirements. None of my food is fried chips are oven cooked. As an example pizza and wedges or chicken wrap and wedges. The only part of that that is pre made is the base and the tortilla wrap. The filling was made from scratch using fresh chicken and a tomato based sauce. Wedges are cut from potato. Salad is available every day as is jelly and a selection of fresh fruit for dessert so the child doesnt have to have the desert listed on the menu which is again made on site.

What’s wrong with a cold lunch? If they took a ‘traditional’ sandwich/crisps/biscuits it would be cold?

Read my post again

Sandwiches fine. Cold lasagne because the OP says they have to lump cold leftovers- not fine.

Obviously.

I think you underestimate peer pressure.
You might start with good intentions of them eating cold mung bean lasagne on packed lunches, but in a week he'll want a ham sandwich and monster munch like his friends.
You're better off with school lunches in that respect, us, they're free.

I used to manage to make four packed lunches a day for my children.

Just get what they want, and put it in a box.

LOL - have you not read any of the threads on how hard it is to get stuff by the lunch police at schools now adays - you can't just give them what they want!

Ask the school about the menus and ingredients etc.
dcs school are catered by chartwells. Balanced meals, veg, meat or jacket potato option every day plus choice of two veg sides (they can have both) plus pudding no added sugar or fruit.