School lunches - reception - please help!

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Our DC will start reception in September, currently he is going to the nursery.

I am trying to figure out what is best - school lunches vs packed lunch.

I really don't want to go to the school lunches route (despite them being for free) as the quality won't be as good as a packed lunch. It will be full of sugars, processed bread, meat, fried things, frozen things, ready made chips, pasta and potatoes, puddings etc. which are not the best for a kid to have them every day. Once a while I get it but pudding every day? Why?

On the other hand if I go with the packed lunch I read everywhere that it's such a faff and a huge commitment and it will kill me. However, we all cook for ourselves once a day, don't we? I mean either when we come back home from work, or whenever it suits us. Most adults eat home cooked food every day either for lunch or dinner (some privileged for both). So, why not saving a small portion of whatever we are having for ourselves the day before and make a packed lunch with that plus some salad, fruit on the side? What is the faff about that?

It's an honest question as I think I am missing something!

AIBU - You clearly don't understand how hard that is
AINBU - It's not too hard , I think you are right

Why? If they like it it’s fine. DS likes cold spag Bol, cold lentil stew, cold baked beans, cold pizza, cold boiled/steamed potatoes, cold beef stew, cold porridge and loads of other stuff.

I loved school dinners when I was at primary school. I'd have been sad if I hadn't been able to have them.
Also we got to take turns at being "server" (and fighting over who got the skin of the pink custard)

Absolutely this.

The OP said if that's all there was, he'd have to eat it, which is just mean.

School dinners have to meet nutritional standards set out by the government.
No fried food. No school kitchen I've been in has a fryer. Any chips/wedges are oven baked.

For example; My kitchen staff make pizza from scratch, including making the dough themselves. 4-6 different salads are available daily.
Yes there are puddings daily but many are milk based - primary kids should still be consuming full fat milk daily & milk/dairy products to ensure they have sufficient calcium for bone growth.

Also don't ignore the social aspect of lunch time & children's desire to do the same as their friends (which often means they'll eat stuff they refuse at home)

Yes, sending a child with lunch they don’t like all the time is unkind (and unnecessary)-

Packed lunch children may sit somewhere separate- it’s worth checking (at ds school they all sat together as a class whatever they were eating)

but the rest of the stuff about cold food not being ok/leftovers not being ok/he will be miserable or picked on because his lunch is different/ he will prefer school dinners etc is rubbish- cold food is fine, as is them having leftover organic lentil stew with home made mung bean bread if that’s what they like.

The best school lunch for a child is one that the child will actually eat.

They need food for energy, growing children need calories, hungry children struggle to learn and behave.

Honestly? I think you should chill out a bit. But then I'm one of those crappy parents who lets their kids have school dinners. Sometimes my youngest has a jacket potato, that devil food, four times a week! 😦

It's free for a start..we don't have free dinners in NI. They will be fine with school dinners honestly. Just have a healthy dinner and it will save you loads of hassle.

I actually see where you’re coming from in some ways but I would still start out with school lunches. As someone mentioned up thread, it’s not just about the food, it’s the whole experience of communal eating, and potentially broadening their palate depending on what kind of an eater they are.

I don’t think your concerns are unfounded, actually - we’re in England and the standard of our DC’s school lunches has slipped in the last year to the point parents are commenting - smaller portions, less nice food, clearly some cost-cutting going on there.

There is a daily pudding (not necessarily fruit/yogurt - some kind of “chocolate sauce” at least once a week), which I found frustrating at first as my DC then started asking for pudding at home. It’s not the actual sugar content, it’s the habit-forming. And there are some bloody weird combinations - pizza with a side of plain pasta, anyone? Quorn hot dog and pasta?

But overall, in reception, I’d start with school lunches and see how you get on.

Oh but why must you waste an understaffed, underpaid school staff’s time? Get a grip and leave them alone

And this is how you set your kids up for adulthood with a bad relationship with food. The overbearing, controlling relationship the parent is instilling in relation to food is awful. Totally snobbery too. Just home school the kid and live in the woods

Totally agree you can always send leftovers in a thermos flask that’s what we do - they don’t need to be cold

Op, such dinners aren't poison but if you're that worried about it just do packed lunch. I did them for 6/7 years and it was better for my ds as he only had a small appetite in those days so i could see what he had eaten. It wasn't a problem to spend 10 minutes making a packed lunch You can't expect a teacher to police what your dd has for dessert as a pp suggested. That's ridiculous The staff will just need the children to eat while they police behaviour and safeguard children who have real food allergies. They will not be available to say to little Jane or Johnny "Oh no, mummy said you must have fruit today because you've already had a dessert this week". Just do a packed lunch or accept your child will have school dinners of her choice.

You have real issues god forbid anyone want to be healthy and avoid ultra processed crap. Just be a sheep and go along with the majority and don’t rock the boat - scary.

Don’t be so dramatic. It’s literally one ducking tiny meal a day and they do have healthy options. Someone is wanting to cause drama about their child being better than everyone else.

School dinners are horrendous because the funding isnt enough but the "desserts" are really not the issue. They are usually made with fruit/veg, dairy etc and very little sugar. Reframe your thinking, look at whats provided and recognise these as sources of nutrients like any other.

Children need carbohydrates and its an easy, cheap way to ensure enough palatable calories & provide calcium, fruit/veg, fibre, healthy fats.

You’re right. Feed your child chocolate, sugar, processed crap and and non foods, you can’t avoid obesity and chronic diseases so let’s embrace them and give up on doing the right thing.

The bigger issues are

• poor quality, low protein main courses
• badly cooked/prepared unpalatable food
• barely any variety of fresh vegetables
• a lot of processed food
• inadequate portion sizes

You’re doing really good job don’t let other people discourage you because they’re lazy

This sounds awful. No one likes cold main course leftovers - why would you expect your own child to ‘get used to it’?

If you want to go down the packed lunch route, then you actually have to make her a proper lunch.

Two words - thermos flask

This person is not a parent. They are a bored goading wanker. Just because people have good experiences of school dinners does not mean they are not giving their kids healthy nutritious meals. Get a life.

My dd actual does and I find it disgusting 🫣 today she took cold mince with green beans. I swear I'm grossed out just packing her lunch. 😩 weird kid!