I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

YANBU to report him for the abuse but you were wrong to instigate the argument in the first place. Sense of humour varies person to person and some people have a darker sense of humour than others. Usually tragedies are fair game for jokes once a little time has passed, the amount of time needed varies person to person but the Titanic disaster was so long ago.

If it were unacceptable to make jokes about major events we wouldn't have programmes like "Have I Got News For You" or "The Last Leg" - hang on a sec, I'm coming round to your way of thinking...

Why not though? It was a perfectly polite and justified comment. If people post videos on a public forum they do it expecting comments they can't expect all the comments to be positive.
OP I think he is lucky you didn't report him to the police. His comments were vile and threatening

You did the right thing, and there's no need to blame your period for making you "emotional".

And this is exactly how men get away with their behaviour - enabling. Yes I see your point it isn't easy, but that is also why you do it. As long as OP has no obvious identifiers on her profile and hasn't got her name and address up for the world to see, he is hardly likely to be able to hunt her down. I'd be blocking him and moving on without a backwards glance.

He's clearly a piece of work, but there's absolutely no need to start pompous arguments with strangers on the internet.

OP, any update? Did the employer acknowledge your message?

I'd report to the police. It's harassment.

OP I'm curious to see the video. Might be worth making a second profile and keeping an eye on his videos. If he already over shares online there is a good chance he'll post about this when he hears from work

I would contact the police too

The OP didn’t instigate the argument. She just made a mildly critical comment on a public social media post and in return got vile abuse via a private message.

@DolceGoldie I would also report this to the police. Men need to learn that there are consequences to this awful behaviour: even if it’s just a call from the police to discuss it with him.

That guilty feeling you're feeling is a lifetime of conditioning OP. It feels uncomfortable because women are programmed like that.

HE stepped out of line, he can suck up the consequences of being stupid enough to have his employer on SM while sending vile messages like that to someone.

I'd also report it to the police.

In my workplace we'd be fired for sending abusive messages like that.

YANBU.
You reap what you sow.
This was not a little spat.
I hope his employer has a discussion with him about his vile behaviour.
He sounds like an angry and dangerous man.
Social media is a great hiding place for lots of hideous personalities.
Well done you for standing up for yourself.

Hello all, sorry to have not updated. At work this morning and in meetings. No reply from his employer yet, but as such is life.

i don’t regret my comment- and it wasn’t a slide that was already up for kids it was one he had created himself. It’s absolutely vulgar to make light of any tragedy it doesn’t matter how much time it’s been.

It wasn’t just an online spat. The things he said show very dangerous attitudes towards women that need to be addressed. By appearing in work uniform on the same platform that he messaged you these awful things, he’s linking that company with those attitudes.

Bit of a different take but although a historical event, the Titanic sank in 1912. Quite feasible that there are people alive today whose great grandparents could have been victims and would be upset by this. Remember the family of the Titanic officer who was portrayed in the film as shooting himself? (Murdoch, I think) They received an apology as it simply wasn't true! Anyway, I digress. I find it more disturbing that he was getting his kids to play dead for strangers on the internet for likes. I think he's going to get a big dose of Karma and rightfully so. Absolutely no excuse, you did the right thing OP 💐

This would be a sacking at my place. He deserves it tbh.

Yes women make nasty comments. Do they say that they wish another woman would get r*ped? And murdered. Even if they did, does it carry the same level of threat and intimidation as when a man says it? No.

Totally deserved good for you.

Love a drunken spat and cold light of day cringing regret, but no you did the right thing.

Indeed. Rape as 'punishment' for women who cause offence is an exclusively 'man thing'. Conceived of by men, threatened by men and implemented by men. Exclusively.

There’s a lot of MRA and incel on this forum, I think it’s right they be challenged every time.

He f**ked around, now he gets to find out.

It’s not just a drunken spat. We really need to stop minimising male rape and death threats against women.

Totally agree.

I was replying to the poster who said this and who appeared to not understand what freedom of speech actually is.