I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

You did the right thing.

He sounds unhinged.

Would you consider reporting his threats to the police like Pps suggested ? It's probably a sensible idea to do so.

And 91% yanbu on Mumsnet aibu is very very high

You should report him to the police too.

There’s a bucket load of women on here telling men they hope they get raped and murdered? I don’t think so. Irrelevant anyway.

Good for you for reporting OP, utterly sick of the way men speak to women on the internet, just casually threatening rape etc, like evolution bypassed them.

Employer and police too. Rinse the fucker.

I don't think OP messaged him? She left a comment on his tiktok and then he messaged her with abuse?

I don't believe we actually have free speech. Say something wrong at work and you're cancelled. Say something to wrong person and you're stabbed. Social media amplifies this, it's an echo chamber for people not a place for reasonable discussion.

You absolutely did the right thing. Bravo!!

Out of curiosity, how did you go getting your face to take a shit?

I'd report his threats to the police. Rape and death threats are serious.

I'm going to give a different opinion which is no, I wouldn't have reported him to his employer, because I think it's very unwise for a female to escalate a situation where the male is clearly a nut. Should it be this way - no. In reality, would I put my safety and security above getting one over on some internet fruitloop - yes. This is a man who could not contain his violent threats and misogynist rage when you made a very innocent comment about his slide. Let's say his employer takes your complaint very seriously, or he was on thin ice anyway, and sacks him. In his mind you have got him the sack. What do you think his state of mind is going to be towards you then? And now, because he's unemployed, he has all day everyday to find you and nothing else to do. No I wouldn't have risked it.

So only positive comments are acceptable? You use a public forum then you have to accept not everyone will lick your arse. Debate or an alternative view is not allowed ? Dangerous waters.

Does he know your name op? Lock down all social media as he might try to find you irl

Yep I'd be informing the police.

They might not do anything this time but at least it's on record in case he ever gets worse and actually starts to carry out some of his threats.

Have you had a reply from his work OP?

And I think you absolutely did the right thing.

His comment that you had made a ‘fatal mistake’ proves what kind of person he was

If he is dangerous enough to go stalking the OP, then she definitely did the right thing. His behaviour needs to be flagged in case it escalates into something worse.

People need to learn this sort of shit has consequences.

Do you mean a video of his kids on the Titanic Slide at the Crocky Trail, Warrington way?
My kids have been on that (though they didn't pretend to die). It's just the name of the ride.

I would have rolled my eyes at your po faced response, or been upset at your implications that I am a parent not bringing my children up as thoughtful or compassionate people, but I wouldn't have threatened you in that way.

No, we don't have free speech if by free speech you mean freedom from consequences.

Freedom of speech refers to being able to criticise your government without suddenly being found dead with 12 self inflicted gunshots to the back of the head.

Saying what you want to friends, family, online, at work etc without any consequences is not now nor has it ever been what is meant by freedom of speech.

It's like when people express their opinion then get upset when others give their own opinion. Waah I'm entitled to my opinion. Why yes, yes you are. As are those giving their opinion on your opinion.

Oh, apologies.
It should be perfectly safe to comment on TikTok posts but it seems not.
This awful man has issues and needs to be reported to anyone and everyone

Telling women they should get raped and murdered is so near to being an exclusively 'man' thing, it seems rather ridiculous you feel the need to argue otherwise. Not to mention that if a man says this to you, you know he is actually capable of making that happen.

In the same respect, if he didn't want comments on his video from a range of opinions and couldn't cope, he should not be posting content (especially with his kids in) if he will leap to violent threats as a consequence.

Indeed. Fuck off with the "Women do this too" reaction. Every time someone dares criticise a man on the internet, it's 5-4-3-2-1 "Women are the same."

No they bloody well aren't. Look at the prison population.

This is not a little spat - it's a man sending vile abuse and threats to a woman over a fairly innocuous comment. His reaction was out of proportion and I doubt it's the first time he's done this. Hopefully he'll get a warning from his employer and might make him think twice next time!

I thought you were going to say you'd reported him for the video itself, which would have been a bit OTT I think. But his comments are disgusting and I don't think reporting them to the employer is unreasonable at all.