I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

It's hate speech and threatening - you should report him to the police.

Well done. Too many men get away with their misogyny.

Has the employer written back?

I wonder if reporting to the police would be in order as well? Especially if he has threatened rape!

Yes I agree. Get a crime number. Does your socal media give away your area, workplace, school etc?

You did the right thing OP, he sounds unhinged and as an employer, I absolutely would want to know. Please let us know if you receive a response.

I think you made the right decision OP, and I hope his employers follow it up. You won't be the first woman he's spoken to like this.

What does the fact that some women can be threatening have to do with this? Allusions to sexual violence is absolutely a male thing as well, rape is what men do as an absolute assertion over women.

The op was perfectly entitled to comment on a public video she found to be in bad taste to her. The man had no right to threaten her violently for having an opinion. Quite honestly I’d have reported to the police from the seriousness of those comments.

I think you were unreasonable to feel offended by the video content as it referenced a historical event, but not unreasonable to have reported him. As others said if he is stupid enough to reference his current employer in his online profile this was bound to happen to him one day.

YANBU

Well done, OP. I would also report him to tik tok and the police. He's used hate speech. Awful. Hope you're alright x

You're not the one who was out of order here. It was traumatic, but it will fade. Hopefully he'll get a fright and a talking to at the very least, which he needs. Try to put it behind you.

Just wondering why couldn't she post that comment? If you post videos then you should expect negative and positive feedback, that said you should also expect the vile rants too (this is not saying it's deserved by the way) there should be line at making a negative comment that's not abusive and a comment that is abusive but there just isn't. Ppl do over react as much as it is wrong they do. If you're posting negative comments you should expect there's a chance you will be abused. That said the person who abused the op should also expect her to tell his employer because with all our info online we can be traced ... so I have no sympathy for the person who was rude to the op, she didn't deserve that one bit and hopefully by calling him out he learns and stops because it's keeping our mouths shut for all thses years and then speaking up 10 years later which is now a problem in itself. We'll done op for speaking up now in the moment.

I think what's interesting in this case is that yes, some of us wouldn't have been offended by the original "joke" some would. Most of the time if someone was to make a comment to us like OP did in reference to something like a titanic joke maybe we'd just shroud our shoulders, roll our eyes and get on with our day (although it's one thing to laugh at a titanic joke, I think its pretty weird to reinact what's in effect someone's frightening and traumatic death. I mean, why?!).

However his response was completely disproportionate. And I highly doubt he would have responded this way to another man.

Misogyny - never lets us down, eh?

Well done for reporting this, you absolutely did the right thing. Thank you.

Also this should be reported to the police. It's very serious.

I would do the same. Men can get fucked.

While I do think you were being a bit pearl clutchy with your comments on his video and I have no idea why you would go to the effort of messaging him you certainly dont deserve that reaction you got and I would report to The Police as well.

I agree with this. It propbky wasn't funny but pointing it out in the comments was unnecessary, better to just hide that content and move on. However once he started with the death and violence threats he deserved to be reported to his employer (sicne it was visible on his profile) and the police.

I personally wouldn't have commented on someone's TikTok just over something you considered to be in poor taste.

However, of course his response to you was completely and utterly unacceptable and yes, you were right to contact his employer. I think most employers would actually be pretty horrified that he was making TikTok videos at all in which he was wearing his branded name badge, let alone using the account to send horrific abuse to people. If I were his employer, I would certainly want to know.

You'd have been well within your rights to speak to the police, too, if there was any suggestion of actual death threats against you (and I would say that telling you you'd made a 'fatal mistake' would certainly fall into that category).

He sounds like a revolting individual, and I hope you're OK.

I would also report this to the police.

You were right to report him to his employer, he is displaying his employer in his profile so he's bringing their image into disrepute.

"And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”."

But I would also report that to the police.

I think you were right. I'd be interested to hear if you hear back from them.

@DolceGoldie

I agree with @WalkingThroughTreacle report it to the police. Make it clear you are reporting his response to you, not his original (idiotic) post.

I would report him to the police. He has essentially made death threats to you, and that's a crime.

Good for you! I'd have done the same - without being under the influence of wine and hormones.

My employer (public sector) would have grounds to sack me for gross misconduct if I did this and rightly so.

This.