I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

I’m glad you reported him but definitely log it with the police too! What a vile overreaction to a comment on an already disgusting thing :(

She only signed up to TikTok that day he doesn't know who she is, what she looks like or where she lives. He is not the only one to put out that particular video and it will look like the op is harassing him by looking into his details. He blocked her and she continued what is she going to say to the police?

My bloke called our neighbour a fucking rat he went to the police fearing for his life. Nothing happened the constable told our neighbour he should move rather than causing trouble.

#@DolceGoldie

You definitely need to report to the police too,

He threatened violence because the op had a negative opinion. If you put something out on the internet, healthy minded people know that you’re going to get a huge range of comments. If the op had made threatening remarks to the bloke, he would have been perfectly reasonable to the police.

Your other half sounds a right delight, it’s no wonder you’re so defensive of angry men getting away with having outbursts and temper tantrums at their big age.

Our neighbour is racist I left that part out to see how inquisitive you was about why and what happened. You immediately judged my partner is aggressive for standing up for himself and his family. The law won't do anything apart from a slap on the wrist with a don't do that again. He doesn't know who she is or what she looks like. Women have a hard time as it is with the law what will they make of this.

When you give information and leave out key details trying to get a ‘gotcha’, it simply makes you look like you’re making up further information as a way to change the narrative in your favour. What it’s actually done is make you read as someone who at best gives half truths and nothing you write can be trusted.

The op would have been better of putting in a complaint to TikTok and they would have shut his account down. I've heard worse on TikTok their accounts get shut down and then they set up a new account to talk more racist, violent and misogynist shit.

You don't know how to ask questions so you pass on the blame. Classic behaviour.

This isn’t your thread and I’m not a part time journalist looking for your life story. You are not owed having the information you post on someone else thread (where you are already being obtuse) taken at anything more than face value.

Oh dear can't handle criticism and now I am obtuse anything else you wanna call me. I've been called a lot of things obtuse was never one of them. What do you think is going to happen to him?

The Unsinkable Memes of 'Titanic' – The New York Times

Putting the Tik Tok man's vile behaviour aside, of course---

I grew up seeing lots of funny references to Titanic, like don't tell anyone we both fit on the plank, or memes of someone clutching on to a plank with reference to workplace or life survival.

Wouldn't most of Mumsnet be in the same demographic as me (20s and maybe 30s)? I'm not sold on the Titanic slide, but I'd have thought most people in their 20s and 30s would have been used to seeing humorous Titanic references. Perhaps it's an older crowd on this site than I've always though. Actually wondering now!

There are some people very invested in putting you off reporting this OP. hope you ignore those trying to persuade you that it would be a waste of time. Its obvious from their misuse and misunderstanding of the terminology they are throwing around such as 'harassment' and 'stalking' that their knowledge of the law and police procedure is somewhere between zero and what Brian down the pub thinks. Some are more concerned with their percieved need to protect and defend men than they are with addressing this type of male behaviour. Their minimisation, distractions, vague threats you will make it worse if you pursue it, feigned knowledge of employment and criminal law and interpretation that somehow always works in this man's favour make their agenda plain. Even if in the worst case scenario neither the police or employer act on this occasion, your complaints will be on record and will contribute to the bigger picture in the inevitable event this unstable and potentially violent individual is reported for something else by someone else.

This.

You haven't done anything wrong @DolceGoldie he's a vile person

The Titanic stuff is a red herring. If you put content on social media - regardless of whether people find that in bad taste or otherwise - and leave comments open then you invite public response. If you're unaware that's exactly how social media works then perhaps social media isn't the place for you.

If you don't want to invite public interaction (in which case, why post?) then all you have to do is close off the comments and message capability. Responding to people with abuse and threats is not acceptable and people who do this should feel the weight of the law where necessary.

After all, if the police can phone an individual whose perfectly legal Twitter posts they don't like, in order to check the author's thinking, then they can surely investigate what in a public context would be behaviour with intent to cause harrassment, alarm or distress. That is a criminal offence.

Whatever excuses people seem intent on making for this abusive male, they won't fly.

If you lived in a jurisdiction where it was an offence to eat certain types of fish on Tuesdays or to eat them in a certain way then yes, it could well be written into the employer's policies. It is an offence in England and Wales to send a communication which conveys a threat, which is why numerous pp are advising the OP to report the messages to the police.

Of course there are jobs where an employee can be lawfully dismissed because of a criminal conviction.

The Titanic thing is absolutely not the issue here, but just to sidebar I don't get how people can think about the terrible tragedy of a situation and not feel the visceral horror just because it happened a long time ago. As if somehow people were less human back then. I was plunged into despair recently when I heard a podcast about the atrocities of the siege of Rome in 1527

“Wouldn't most of Mumsnet be in the same demographic as me (20s and maybe 30s)” based on what I read here I think 40s is probably the most common age and 50s is more heavily represented than 20s. I definitely don’t think mn is mostly younger women! Yes there are pregnancy boards but loads of posters have teens or adult children and have been here for a decade or two!

Absolutely I'd want to know if someone who showed that they work for my organization online also made threats of sexual violence online.
I bet he's awful and they've been hoping for a reason to get rid!

You should delete your comment about the titanic and block him back

Oh ok, I didn't know that. Makes sense! I think most people in their 20s and 30s all over the world primarily associate Titanic with the movie, which is pretty feel-good (despite the tragic romantic ending). It's pretty romanticised in modern pop culture.

I did a bit of research though – I tend to find random topics interesting – and apparently it was such a popular topic that there were folk songs about its sinking, and many other movies and musicals made, even in the mid 1900s.

Apparently Titanic captured the public imagination because of the invention of telegraph services at the time which meant word spread like wildfire, and the fact that it had been billed as unsinkable...

But by far the BIGGEST factor was that it had a "power collection" of rich, prominent people from the top tier of societies all over the world onboard. There have been many bigger or comparable (in terms of death toll) maritime tragedies, both before and after the Titanic but within the same era, that nobody really cared/cares about.

Most people who use social media to communicate are sociopaths and they use platforms like Mumsnet, Quora, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. People want to show off themselves or use it as a tool to get at people. Look at the abuse Jessy Nelson received people wanted to cut her head off. Social media is a nightmare and it should never have been created it started with Mumsnet, Friends Reunited, and Facebook. People should go out and start talking to people about their troubles they might feel better and get their endorphins going with a good chat.

Agree

I'm not sure the chap in this situation is a believer in a good chat.

Mental health has risen people use social media as a tool. A lot of people don't bother with it. The op criticized his video he then was abusive toward her. He should not be on social media it's not normal behaviour. He is a sociopath.

The op went from TikTok to Mumsnet to tell strangers who she can't see what happened to feel justified in how she feels. She doesn't need to she knows right from wrong and the next steps she took were right for her and the situation. People who go on social media are only looking for acceptance and to feel justified in how they felt or feel. I don't care what people on social media think about me I feel secure within myself I don't need to show off or feel justified with my decisions.

Social media wasn't around when I was at school. The bullying that goes on on social media is ridiculous. People who are influenced by what they see or read on social media are vulnerable. Social media should never have been created it's a mental health concern with young people as well as adults.

Not you though eh I bet 😂