To ask my parents for financial help

[concernedchild]

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

24, studying and living at home? If you were our daughter, you wouldn’t have to ask. We’d be giving you as much financial help as you need.

Good one. You win.

OP I’m delighted for you ❤️

you sound like a brilliant daughter and I’m sure you’re parents are more than happy to help you.

If you were my child and going the uni, I would give you money. If you insisted on a loan it would be no interest. That is non-negotiable. I would take the repayment and put it in a separate account and gift them back the money when they move out. My parents would just give me the money if I needed for something and would be very upset if I tried to pay them back.

Brilliant! Here's to a great future 🥂

I understand paying interest so you are not taking advantage of your parents, but I was just looking for an ISA to put money in and the max interest I could get was 4.2%. How long are ypu paying over? Dont pay more than they would get in the bank.

@Mustreadabook they don't even want repayments till I qualify. I've got lucky and I fully intend to ensure I put money aside each month to treat them like they deserve

Congrats on the outcome. You sound so lovely I was hoping they could gift it to you. Enjoy the rest of your training and your first month’s decent salary! Your are so committed, you can only be a success x

The government expects them to top up your loan to the maximum loan level because their earnings have been assessed as them being able to pay that, hence you not getting the loan.

I’m a solicitor and my parents paid my mortgage when I did my LPC and training contract. I’m really pleased for you. I wish you all the best in your exams.

Thats great. I wonder if they were worried you would be insulted if they offered! I hope you can relax a bit now!

🎉👏🏻 well done OP

@StormingNorman unfortunately I took sick leave in the latter half of Feb so this month is a bit weak (that's what brought on my original panic) but I did treat myself to a lipstick and concealer 🤣

You should be so very proud of yourself. You’re doing so well and making amazing choices to secure a great future as a solicitor. It’s so sad that your company offer no assistance with this.

Speak to your parents. If you were my child, I’d pay your exams if I were able to. Likewise, my parents never said no to paying for quals.

Find a way but DO NOT quit your job. You’ll get there and the way you will have achieved it, to me, will make you infinitely more employable and mature than 90% of your peers.

x

Of course your parents should help you out while you are studying. If they refuse, it is they who should feel bad and ashamed, not you.
I am assuming they have the means to do so.

I had nothing to contribute beyond what other people said, but I was watching this thread and am really pleased it's turned out well for you, and that you're less anxious now. Wishing you all the best.

It's good that you are looking at your finances. If you have a spreadsheet, you should be able to see which is the best option for you to alleviate the pain.

Is there an option for you to delay your exams by a year (not sure how law works). It feels like the world has ended when you are 24 to take a year out, but it might get you in a better financial situation?

Honestly it depends a lot on the background. Did your parents already supported you before ? Why are you back home at 42 ? Is it because you went back to uni after working on a different field ? Or have you never been independent?

Sounds like they have fully agreed to fund this precisely BECAUSE you have never asked them for anything.

You have worked so hard to do this alone, whereas your brothers have had their hands out whenever they can. So they can see that this is not something you have asked on a whim, and also that its not "Can you lend me £3k so I go on holiday" but to help you pay to qualify in a career you have worked really hard to get.

The fact that you have immediately offered repayments makes a big difference too. I very much doubt that they will want you to pay it back, I wouldnt.

All the answers are in the thread if you bothered to read the OP's posts....starting with her age....

Do your parents know how much the exams are? I wouldn’t think twice about helping my kids pay for them if I had the money.

Minimum wage is definitely going up next month so that should help a little bit more.

Ask them for money. Surely they know you can potentially pay back in a few years. You are doing great. Studying and working must be hard.

I was reading this thread thinking "I don't know how any parent wouldn't give their child money in this situation", so I'm glad to see they are going to. You're doing so well. All this hard work will be worth it in the end.

I have adult DC's and if I was in a position to help out I absolutely would help in any way possible so do ask them
You must not feel like a failure, quite the opposite. You have a plan to focus on and can see the bigger picture

Absolutely ask your parents, if they can afford it. I would hate for you to be my child and struggling so much.
Ask them, there's no shame in it and it's not gonna be forever.
Good luck x