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Original poster

To ask my parents for financial help

589 replies

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:47

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
LT1982 · 20/03/2024 19:35

TigBitss · 20/03/2024 08:52

It's £7800 a year for your exams?

Sounds like shes a trainee solicitor and if so yes that is the cost of the course

oakleaffy · 20/03/2024 19:36

coxesorangepippin · 20/03/2024 18:32

You live at home

Your parents are wealthy

You're studying to be a solicitor

Yes, you can ask them for money.

Not rocket science.

@concernedchild This.... But I understand exactly how you feel.

My siblings were helped out lots...I wasn't.

Be brave.

Fortune favours the brave!

LT1982 · 20/03/2024 19:39

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:47

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

Not unreasonable to ask. Even if it was a loan from your parents to help with course fees to be repaid when you qualify and earn more.

It's a lot of pressure to pay the fees fully from wages. Is there no professional loan scheme available, even if you saved half and borrowed half?

You still need to have a life while working and studying! If it's the LPC/SQE course I don't know anyone who self funded the entire course so don't pressure yourself

LT1982 · 20/03/2024 19:41

Don't know how to edit post....but asking for help doesn't make you a failure whatsoever, not many people could self fund such a high course fee on a single wage

Bonbonnes · 20/03/2024 19:42

Just ask them. If it was my child working and studying I’d be happy to help if i could afford it. Maybe offer to pay them back when you get a better job, which you will once you’re qualified.

TheOnlyAletheia · 20/03/2024 19:46

So glad that it’s sorted 🙂

HorsesDuvets · 20/03/2024 19:47

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 19:21

My dad said exactly that!! This does also mean I can get a small sum into my house ISA, not much but some

Show quote history

That's great, regarding the isa, but do make sure to prioritise looking after yourself with a few treats and experiences.

I remember trying so hard to save for a house deposit when I was studying part-time and working full-time at the start of my career (not law).

The amount I was managing to save at that point was woeful in reality, and a few years later when I was earning more than double the salary it felt like I'd struggled for little benefit, since I then had over 20(!) times as much spare that I could save from each month.

Just worth bearing in mind while you're still waiting to start earning properly.

Anyway, I'm so pleased to hear your parents have been able to give you the cushion you needed to de-stress a bit!

Daisy12Maisie · 20/03/2024 19:52

I would want my children to tell me and I would consider it a joint problem and help if I could. At least talk to your parents and see if they will help.

LT1982 · 20/03/2024 19:53

Myotheripodisayoto · 20/03/2024 09:03

Im confused about your sums.

If its a first degree you should be able to access student finance.

If its the law school part after the degree, you are supposed to get a training contract and the firm pay the law school costs.

If no one was willing to give you a training contract, you've taken a huge risk paying the fees without the employment. If you've agreed to a training contract without them funding your LPC you are a fool, easily parted from your money.

There are too many law students around, the good ones who will survive, are not paying for their LPC themselves.

This is a rather patronising post.

Not all firms pay for the professional qualification, in fact it is quite rare so it's not what the OP is "supposed" to do.

She's also not a "fool" for undertaking her TC without her SQE being paid for. A lot of people only get a TC after the post grad course.

Not a single one of my uni friends had our LPC (as it was then) paid for by a firm, and majority didn't have a TC when starting the LPC. None of us are fools and 20 years on we all have our qualifications and legal careers so good students often do pay for their SQE themselves.

You either qualified as a solicitor a long time ago and are out of touch or if you're not a solicitor you have no idea of what is actually involved

behindher · 20/03/2024 19:56

Virtually everyone I know with comfortable-financially parents were supported through studies heavily.

firstimemumconcerns · 20/03/2024 19:58

OP I have no idea why everyone is being so harsh!!

I have a few solicitor friends and some barristers. The ones who qualified easily were from wealthy backgrounds - dad’s a PwC partner so got them an internship with the law dept in house blah blah. You’ve done so well to get a TC. My friends are still doing their LPC and have got a funded scheme at the age of 30. They live with their parents and they would borrow money if they had to and that’s just how it is.

You should be proud of what you’re doing. It’s hard getting these jobs and once you qualify you’ll have so many amazing opportunities.

Hope it works out and good luck!

Sillypede · 20/03/2024 19:58

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 08:47

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

As a parent of a 24 year old, I know how tough it is. Just ask for help, it's what we're here for.

OdeToBarney · 20/03/2024 20:00

Myotheripodisayoto · 20/03/2024 09:03

Im confused about your sums.

If its a first degree you should be able to access student finance.

If its the law school part after the degree, you are supposed to get a training contract and the firm pay the law school costs.

If no one was willing to give you a training contract, you've taken a huge risk paying the fees without the employment. If you've agreed to a training contract without them funding your LPC you are a fool, easily parted from your money.

There are too many law students around, the good ones who will survive, are not paying for their LPC themselves.

I self-funded the LPC. I'd applied for vac schemes and TCs for 2 years with no luck. Once I'd done the LPC, I got offered a TC with a magic circle firm AND got my fees repaid.

I'm now a mid-senior lawyer in the city, earning very decent money.

You know nothing about law. You're also extremely rude.

Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 20:06

@HorsesDuvets I'm definitely getting myself a foundation in the right colour 🤣 a few little treats but I'm going to stick to being mostly sensible

OP posts:
Original poster
concernedchild · 20/03/2024 20:14

@Runnerinthenight bless you for helping your kids! I felt awful asking for help but my dad summed it up in that it's less than any of my siblings have had and it's a really good cause

OP posts:
CrappySack · 20/03/2024 20:18

What a lovely update OP. I'm so pleased your parents are helping you out. They must be very proud of all the hard work and sacrifice you are putting in.

Well done! It will all be worth it in the end ☺️

Bluegray2 · 20/03/2024 20:27

@concernedchild

Yes, definitely treat yourself to a few small items, you sound like you have been very stressed!

BuzzerCompany · 20/03/2024 20:31

I would be devastated if my kids didn't feel they could ask me.

ABitBright · 20/03/2024 20:33

concernedchild · 20/03/2024 18:47

So they've gifted it to me and my worries were totally ridiculous

🥳🥳. That's a brilliant update. I'm so pleased for you. I hope you treat yourself to a few nice things.

Now you can get back to 'just' worrying about passing those exams without the added stress of finances.

Good luck. 😊

Winter2020 · 20/03/2024 20:34

Great update OP.
Enjoy a little bit of breathing space.

Axx · 20/03/2024 20:43

I'm so pleased for you, I'd have done the same for any of my DC.

Good luck in your exams.

Sotiredmjmmy · 20/03/2024 20:50

Myotheripodisayoto · 20/03/2024 09:03

Im confused about your sums.

If its a first degree you should be able to access student finance.

If its the law school part after the degree, you are supposed to get a training contract and the firm pay the law school costs.

If no one was willing to give you a training contract, you've taken a huge risk paying the fees without the employment. If you've agreed to a training contract without them funding your LPC you are a fool, easily parted from your money.

There are too many law students around, the good ones who will survive, are not paying for their LPC themselves.

It’s not the LPC anymore, this is the SQE, it’s a different set up and many are paying for the exams themselves or at least parts of it. Just like many people paid out on the old system for the LPC too, but at least with the SQE their employment is now generally more fixed and not as short term as the old style training contracts.

EwwSprouts · 20/03/2024 20:55

So pleased your parents were understanding and supportive. Good luck with the exams!

Wishicouldwhistle · 20/03/2024 21:01

Please ask them for help, I’ve had help from my parents in the past when I’ve needed it and look forward to being able to help my children when they need it, it’s not a fail given the current COL crisis

Wishicouldwhistle · 20/03/2024 21:02

Wishicouldwhistle · 20/03/2024 21:01

Please ask them for help, I’ve had help from my parents in the past when I’ve needed it and look forward to being able to help my children when they need it, it’s not a fail given the current COL crisis

Just read the update - that’s great