To ask my parents for financial help

[concernedchild]

I'm 24, I live at home (I know this will attract a lot of criticism but I cannot afford to move out).

I earn £1300 a month after tax etc.

After saving for professional exams (I have to pay for them, I get no help from work) I'm left with £650 per month. Of this I have to pay for uni, all my own expenses and travel to work, as well as other savings.

I'm left with about £75 at the end of each month. From this £75 I contribute what I can to the house but it's not a lot. I feel like a failure. If my friends ask to meet up I have to say no because I can't afford it.

Travel alone is £200 per month. I can't make it any cheaper. Uni is £100 per month. My expenses aren't extravagant - I'm paying for my uni course, my phone, Spotify etc., I'm not spending hundreds on my nails or getting sun beds or anything like that.

I want to approach my parents and ask for some help with the exams but I feel like a total failure for even having to ask. The plan when I moved in after uni was for me to save up and move out, but I had to move company and took a pay cut. I can't relocate my job (I'm on a training contract and I'm unlikely to get another one).

I feel like I'm sinking. I'm working for basically nothing, I can't afford to grab a coffee on my lunch break or even go out at the weekends. I'm trying my hardest to get by but it's having such an effect on me mentally that I feel like giving up and quitting my job all together to find something in a supermarket that's better paid.

Am I being unreasonable to ask them for help? I don't expect them to say yes, I'm expecting them to say no, but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I don't see a point in anything because I feel like I'm wasting my time working and not getting anywhere financially, I feel like I'm behind my peers and I just can't do it anymore

I am happy for you, and was expecting that too. Its what I would do.

Both of my adult DC are well established with their own homes etc but when my DH and I took our pensions / lump sums we gifted them £20k each. We wanted them to reap the benefits of our hard work and make their lives easier. I see it as them getting their inheritance early. I'm sure your parents are very proud of you and don't want to see you struggling. Hope your meeting goes well.

Yes I'm also confused because of this.

Are your training contract firm not paying your fees OP???

@MsCactus as I have said multiple times, and as many other posters have said. No. They are not. That's typical in small firms.

@concernedchild 18 months pass very quick. I would ask them without hesitation. There is not much on expenses you can cut as most is on courses and other studies.
Don't feel bad about asking.

It sounds like all of your effort will lead to a brilliant qualification and a well paid career. It all depends on how your parents are financially. You sound hesitant to ask them, but any parents who see their child working hard will help all they can. No it's not sad you're living at home at age 24 after a degree, I did and glad I did, was lovely to be back as once you permanently leave it's different.

Alternative is continue to live frugally, which most of us have had to do before careers or get a 0pc credit card then keep moving to another 0pc one until you have your exceptionally well paid solicitor job?

Best of luck, it will all work out. Xx

That’s great news, I hope it will make your life a little easier.

I'm practically crying into my dinner because it's already eased so many worries

Next time you're worried about something, remember this! Talk it out before worrying :) best of luck with everything.

Why? You’ve already said your siblings would have no qualms in asking for help.

Anyway I’m glad they’ve come up trumps.

@6pence they said exactly that and they said my brothers have had much more!!

Aww, just read the thread. You are a lovely daughter and I'm so pleased for you. Now keep up the studying - you'll be great. (Oh, and you can get a Spotify student account while studying part time - I have one - saves £5 a month so you can buy a coffee now and again without feeling guilty :))

Am so pleased for you. This really does show the importance of communication and being open to asking for help. My DD would have had a spread sheet too😂.

You sound lovely and I’m happy it’s sorted. I bet your parents would be upset if they knew how worried / upset you’ve been.

Worries are not always rational.

I am really pleased for you and I’m sure they only want to se you succeed and not work yourself into a state.

I think you deserve to enjoy your summer plans too! Life is short, enjoy. Sounds like you work hard and save hard.

I am delighted for you! This is lovely news and you sound like you can breathe a little now and make some plans with friends as you should be doing- please enjoy your concert and your £2.70 coffee guilt free.

ignore the haters xxx big hugs OP

I hope you get this sorted <3 please know it will be really worth it when you qualify <3 also, you still deserve nice things as you are working hard.
I’m sure your parents will understand and want to support you as you have a very clear and sensible approach to borrowing money and paying it back.
please be a bit kinder to yourself, you are not a failure and you’ve already come so far :)
I don’t work in the same industry but worked minimum wage training, which was really hard but so worth it for the salary I have now I’m qualified ! you will look back and laugh you ever worried about spending money on a coffee - promise !!!!
xxx

@eatreadsleeprepeat I say down and gave a whole SPEECH I had prepared in my notes app, talking through repayment and interest blah blah and my dad just went "we don't expect you to start paying it back until you've qualified, if ever, this is from us to you"

Safe to say I'm VERY relieved and I have a savings buffer now, and I will be putting aside an amount equal to what I have repaid into a high yield savings account to have a lump sum ready to give back to them 😂

My dad said exactly that!! This does also mean I can get a small sum into my house ISA, not much but some

So pleased it is sorted 🥰

I was worried why would you feel such shame asking your well off parents for money. In my country the money the parents earn , especially when they earn a lot, is shared to the kids, or at least to the first born or the one who is the favourite let's say.

That’s great news OP. I did the same for my daughter.As a Mum of adults there are so many problems we cannot solve for them so I was just happy that I could help in a constructive way.

Really pleased with the outcome op! Good luck with your exams and qualifications.

@concernedchild I have to say, I really admire how you have held back from asking your parents for help, but I am glad you have done it! I think though most parents will help if they can.

I feel like I'm never getting rid of my kids lol! Even when they go away they come back! One of them is studying in a European uni and has zero funding. It's all from the bank of mum and dad. We do send money for small treats and there's 2 concerts coming up that we will have to fund plane fares for. Easter trip home cost £250. Monthly rent alone is £450. One is living at home paying a pittance while saving for a house deposit, and one is half way through uni, still living at home, and obviously not paying us.

They are not as reticent towards seeking help as you are, and we don't have thousands in the bank!