Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

after the event?

this op will be updating the thread every 10 mins based on the dedication to this thread!

and I am loving that
too many start a thread and then dissappear
we will get to hear the end of this one hopefully

unless they are leaving at 10am on Sunday they need to pay for the full 3 days, they wouldn’t have the choice to pay for 2 nights then stay around the full third day anywhere, in fairness to you sometimes you just have to book things otherwise it never gets organised.

id approach it like that to be fair, and say if they don’t want to pay then the other couple and you two will have to split the cost between you for their shortfall, and see if they are CF enough to push the extra cost onto the other couple.

they are being selfish.

Sorry if you've said this, I haven't read the whole thread, but if they pay 80 each, that's only 30 each extra for you and your partner if thr original price for them was 110 each?

The other couple are still staying the extra night so still pay 110 each

This!

I will never forget doing all the work making arrangements and booking restaurants and places to stay in a trip to Prague. I found the most stunning 3 bedroom apartment and my boyfriend and I had a room, and two single friends had a room each. They selected rooms first and we took the last one. When we came to leave they insisted on splitting costs 4 ways. I expressed surprise and they had clearly discussed it between them and insisted it was only fair to spliy it per person. I ended up paying half the cost of the apartment. I was furious and won’t ever put myself in that position again.

Its a good few months before the event.
:)
I will try to remember. I dont know if aita posts get deleted after a few days.

I think I'm going to try not to rub it in their faces intentionally. Im just going to behave as i would had this all not have happened. Which probably still is insta posts but i dont want to modify behaviour either way.

It will influence future encounters ect because its added to my experience of them. Just going to try to protect myself and my partner.

I imagine from their angle they are probably feeling miffed they didn't get the outcome they thought theyd get and wanted. So i imagine that it may show up in comments and behaviour in the future. We'll see. It will be interesting to see how they conduct themselves following on.

Why on earth didn’t you discuss how you’d split the costs before the trip? To be honest I agree with them anyway, why should they subsidise your trip, per person makes sense in that scenario but it’s madness not to have agreed beforehand.

Why didn’t your boyfriend pay his share? He's the CF if you paid his share!

I think they either pay their third or don’t come and you can offer it to someone else.

Is there a 3 night minimum stay at the cottage? Kind of tricky as you had prearranged it but I’d just say that’s the booking so take it or leave it.

I think it should be split equal and if they leave early, so be it. What happens if you let them pay less and then they say o we can stay the extra night after all.....

I say they were very miffed as they probably done something similar before and never were told no. so it's been good that you pushed back and said no. if you get any comments in future I would just prepare some smart ones back

but what they asked for was right? it was 4 people not 4 couples so therfore split 4 ways. why did you pay double ? did your boyfriend not contribute

It works out actually a lot worse. Its because the price is already set. Like is 740. Someone has to cover that.
So, if they wanted to come, we said 220 per couple.

Ie 440 others and 300 covered by us (80 more already). And we said its booked for this long. Come for as long as you like. Offer is there if you want to join.

Issue is, they decided a few weeks after saying yes. That they wanted to stay two nights and pay less.
If they each pay 80. We'd also want to be fair to the other couple. So everyone pays 80 each. Because its not fair to charge the ones that complain less than the others just because they complain.

Which means 320 covered by others. And 420 my OH and ie.
Ie four people pay 320 and we as two pay 420.

That was not sitting okay with me.
As it just does not seem fair.
The offer was if they wanted to come, it's 110pp. Take it or leave it. Stay as long or little as you like.

Using char gpt the fair way to calc is in couple nights. Which means its total/7 ie two couples decided to stay 2 nights and us 3.
Even this is questionable in itself because them choosing not to stay the full time is a choice. Ie they dont have to come if they dont want to. And the cottage doesnt offer a lower occupancy reduction. It also has fees for booking and cottage fees which are over £150 irrespective of how many nights.
Also booking for three nights meant it was cheaper per night than for two.
And finally as a group it was clear we needed somewhere during the day on Sunday. Which just wouldn't be the case if the Sunday night hadn't been booked.

... Summary apparently maths fair way is 2/7, 2/7, 3/7.

Moral fair way would be 1/3,1/3,1/3 as its each couples choice if they want to leave early. And they will use and benefit from the third day.

And if they did pay 80.
It means as a couple they pay 160.
Wheres my OH and I pay 420.
And they have access to use the same thing as us.
And they will be making use of the third day.
But even if they didnt.
160 is not 2/7 : 3/7 ratio to 420.
Ie my they'd be paying about 21% total.
Leaving everyone else to cover 79%.

Just not okay.
Was hard to say no as they were saying we were being unfair.. And i dont want to be unfair. Or be seen as unfair.
But in this instance I don't think our offer was unfair.

Fair enough if they want to haggle if they go about other things in life this way. But the entitlement thing of it and saying we're being unfair isn't nice.
Fair enough if they just simply don't want to pay that much to go on a trip.
But it's the wanting everyone else, who are supposidly people they care about ie my OH and the other couple (. Not sure how far I fit into that equation.) to pay more so they can pay less.
Especially after they'd already agreed a few weeks ago.

Anyway im having a bit of a longer reply than i expected.

They decided not to come. And i didnt sleep well last night worrying and today knowing that has brought me peace because i was anxious about how they'd conduct themselves.
And now that's not an issue because they won't be there.
Peace.

Great news OP, well done!

Glad you sorted it out. Aren’t people weird about money some times!

That comes under the category of piss poor planning. Don't book or pay for anything until all costs are agreed between all parties. A bit naive to start out by setting yourselves up to pay an extra £14 per person as a "generous contribution" and then find out another couple doesn't want to stay all three nights. Personally I'd suck up the extra cost, because no one will trust you to organise anything, ever again, if the goal posts keep moving for cost. Make it a good, but more expensive holiday than you were planning and be more organised and professional in future - or, assuming you only paid a minimum deposit, lose the deposit and chalk it up to a valuable learning curve in life. The reason being, if you are "resentful" about cost, which you and husband now are, it will impact the holiday, because every meal, car park fee, ice cream .... you'll all be feeling resentful that it's costing you more than you initially thought it would be. And you'll all be expecting the other couples to pay for the minor stuff.

If they are planning to stay beyond 10am on the Sunday then they need to pay a proportionate "late check out" amount.

They want to pay around £70-75 less - anything more than that and they can't do maths!

It's also worth noting that accommodation is often split so Fri/Sat are more expensive than a Sunday so £220 could be £90/£90/£40 for example.

I would look how much it would be for two nights Fri/Sat and work from that figure - or make one up!

I might give them a discount but it wouldn't be £75, especially if they're not leaving at 10am.

£40 discount if they are. £10-20 if they are not.

i’d find it a bit odd if a friend paid £14 as a “generous contribution” on a group holiday. Seems such a small completely random amount!

@OldPerson I'd suck up the extra cost, because no one will trust you to organise anything, ever again, if the goal posts keep moving for cost

i can’t see this group of “friends” socialising agains after this nonsense let alone going on holiday together!

This

They sound ridiculous.

Your question was "would you like to purchase this for X price?"

There was no expectation that they had to accept.

However they did accept... Then two weeks later tried to haggle on the price.

Ugh

Thanks. Yeah it is random i guess.
It just to be nice tbh so that the amount we said it would be for the others was a round number.
(740/6 =123.33 so we just rounded down to 110pp and decided we'd pay that bit more because we were asking friends to join us on something we booked. Rather than the group all quibbling over where to stay for weeks and then doing transfers at that moment.)
Ie we decided to stomach 13.33*4 ourselves so it was a nicer number for friends.

I personally feel like asking for exact portions of things can come across as a bit stingy.
So the logic was as we booked it, be nice pay a bit extra as we chose the place and to encourage others to come if its a bit less for them that's a nice thing to do.

It did not work out. Being kind did not pay off.

Update : i actually found out, that what really happened...
Was they transfered 2/3 of the cost to my partner. Ie about 80pp
And he then messaged them and said no. Its 110 for the trip.
And at that point they kicked up a fuss.
And said if they cant pay that, that we're unfair and they're not coming.

Wow.

Ie so it wasnt an ask of can we pay less.
They just went on ahead and decided to pay less and see if they get called out on it. Or if we'd feel too awkward to say anything.