Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

I'm a bit late to this but think you've done exactly the right thing. In fact, I think it should have been offered at an equal split regardless of nights spent - it was a fixed cost especially as the Sunday daytime was required by all. I think also you've probably dodged a bullet here and would have had to do the early Monday morning clean up etc!

I'd invite the other friends right now. I can see the couple coming back once they've researched and realised there's no other accommodation and biting your hands off at £100 each!

Damned right - if you are paying more and they are only there for 2 nights THEY can take the singles.

AND... if they are not planning to leave before 10am on the Sunday, they ARE making use of more time than they are paying for.

Say to them that you have already reduced the amount they are paying and that it's a fixed cost that is already factoring in in the comings and goings.

DO NOT PAY MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE ONLY TO SLUM IT IN THE SINGES FOR 3 NIGHTS.

Ah, just caught up - at least now you can have the nice room.

Can you invite others?

I know OP has it sorted, but have you noticed it's always the ones moaning about petty things that never actually organise or book anything themselves.

I gave up on the family holidays when one relative would come back with "well we need x,y and z and could it be cheaper." I would be like "Sure why not link me what you've found" which always led to radio silence.

£110 is still cheap for two nights. I would make them pay the full price. The price is the price and they can come and go as required.

Update: they're not coming any more
They've also decided after looking for somewhere on their own, they're not coming at all to the trip.

Other couple are still keen to come.
Have asked them if they're okay if we ask other people to stay in the now free room. And said we would run it by them before saying yes to anyone. And the nice couple said dont even bother - they'd love to meet new people.

I'm happy. Will be a great time if its the four of us.
And if other people come for the spare room that's a bonus.

All good vibes now with everyone going.

Brilliant, hope you have a great time.

Result, enjoy x

Great update. Hope you have a good trip

Great news OP and the other friends sound lovely.

I do feel a bit sorry for the ILs. It sounds like their phobia about spending money or being ripped off is stopping them from enjoying life and spending time with relatives.

But certainly not up to OP to subsidise them.

Great update - I hope you all are able to have a lovely time

I just know that if the CF couple had eventually decided to accept the £100 offer and come for the two nights, that they would have hung around so long into the evening on the Sunday and would just announce (all planned, of course) "oh it's getting quite late to drive home now, should we just stay after all?"!!!!!

Glad it's sorted.

Yeah.
It has been an eye opener for me.
The contrast between how the couples have been is strong.
The couple still coming feel so easy and reasonable and fun. And yeah. Turns out peace is worth guarding.

And its good to know how the other couple operate. Because now I can try to avoid any joint plan making with them. Which benefits us both because I want them to be happy as well as us.
And everyone having peace is important. And I am glad i guarded our peace, rather than people pleased and went along with something we were uncomfortable with.

Thanks to everyone wishing me a nice trip! Thats really kind!
Hope you all get to have nice trips too this year :)

Aah OP, that sounds like a great outcome.

The only people missing out are the couple who have quibbled at paying an extra £20.

I think the fact that they wouldn’t be heading off first thing Sunday morning means that morally, it’s not just two nights. They’ll be getting full use of the facilities while they have a relaxing Sunday and head off later in the day while you have to clean up and get out early the next morning. So actually, if you get down to it, the split is actually three nights and two full days (disregarding checking in day and checking out). So you and nice couple should have to pay for 5 slots each (three nights and two days). Grumpy couple have to pay for 4 slots - two days and two nights. For a total cost of £740, this means grumpy couple’s share is £211 - roughly £105pp.

Nothing about their suggestion of £80pp was fair. You’d already offered to pay more than your fair share from the start AND you were taking the crappier room. Honestly, they can just fuck off with their £80pp!

I would rather pay the full whack myself than feel taken advantage of. If it were a family member who was skint that would be different but that’s clearly not the case.

Have a lovely time!

Absolutely. It’s a pretty thankless task, and especially if you don’t even end up with the nicest room.

I think I misunderstood the original premise and that lead me to being on the fence.

It sounded like there was a vague plan for three related, childless couples to take a break ‘somewhere’ Then OP couple had an event that required staying in a certain location, on a certain weekend, for three nights when a accommodation was scarce, hence seizing the booking and retro fitting other guests?

As this was all to suit OP I’d have said that any other couples’ payments mitigate their unavoidable expense. It’s all well and good to say with hindsight, but I’d have said the king room is £Z, the others Y and X for however long you stay, up to 3 nights. Give the others the choice. Any money back is a bonus.

But on the other hand, these particular other guests sound cheapskates who try to take the advantage, for which they have form. On that basis, no matter how you portion out the maths it sounds like they still want to pay less than a fair share.

You need to go away with very like minded sharers, or someone always has to suck it up.

Yep with you on the conclusion.
Its a shame, but its important to protect your own peace.
And I was nervous to (hence mumsnet post). And after the outcome I'm glad we did prioritise it.

I'm looking forward to the trip.
Yesterday I was just so anxious all day about it. Its just not what you want to be feeling for the rest of the time.

It's a shame. But i think we were really nice and reasonable. And end of the day we've both set boundaries and they didnt overlap. And so they don't come. And we pay more.
Both parties got to make their call and that's where we're at.
I didnt want to set a president (especially as they're relatives to OH) that would then live on into future arrangements. Ie it was important to stand up, speak up and not let ourselves feel taken advantage of.
:)

“And also if they say mean things about me to my partner.”

Sounds quite childish.

Has your partner been concerned that you’re ok dealing with all this? Don’t worry whether anyone says anything, you’ve told them how much it costs they can either accept or decline. Yes you booked it without all agreeing first but it still costs money so why should you pay more? They either pay or they don’t go 🤷‍♀️

A standard self catering property weekend booking is for three nights.
You pay a fixed price.
The property owner can’t rent their bed spaces out to two other strangers for the third night, while two other couples are staying there. So that should be pretty obvious to them. It isn’t a B&B.
But spell that out to them anyway, in case they hadn’t realised.

Give them the option to do the right thing …that is to pay their share of the booking equally, regardless of how many nights they are staying.

If they still protest, then you as the person who made the booking will have to just pay up, unless the third couple take pity on you and offer to share the cost of awkward couple’s third night.

If there is another couple who could replace them if they decide to cancel the whole thing, then you could give awkward couple the option of paying up equally or pulling out altogether as another couple are interested in their place.

Op please take the best room for yourselves! You absolutely deserve it!! We go with family. Same island. Always a different house due to availability... Set event annually. I book and gather in deposits. All earning adults pay equal share per night x by how many nights they sleep.
Some of us go for 2 weeks. Some 1 week. We pay most of the food as we have dc and they don't. No issues there.. Worked well for a decade now.

Thanks for this.
This is actually pretty much exactly what we've done.
Had some sound advice on this thread.
And ive moved through the issue with some really lovely people i dont know helping out navigate it.

And got to a point where I think it all feels good and peaceful.
Atleast around the trip.
The quibble couple dropped out. And arent coming at all.

And the other couple are coming and its going to be lovely.
My OH and i will stomach the cost if needbe. Its not the other couples fault that the quibble couple dropped out.

Weve asked some other friends to see if they'd like to come.
:)
But either way it's good.

Okay there may be drama fall out from the couple that dropped out.
And they're family so I'm kind of anxious they'll spread stuff in OHs family and blame entirely me.

But life can be like that. Will be okay.

So friends who are staying 2 nights instead of 3 want to pay less - you can't let someone else have their room for the sunday night so the cost is for the weekend not per night. Also you're being generous taking the single beds while paying more anyway. Your friends are being unreasonable.

I think they should pay what you offered them, that is what I would pay if I was them. But be prepared that they say it’s not worth it and don’t go at all.

You dodged a bullet here, they would have been nasty tight people and would have happily fucked off before the cleaning up begins. Their attitude was shitty. Absolutely no way to behave.

Come back to us Op after the event to let us know how you got on. I bet the couple that turned it down over 20e will be raging - they will have fierce FOMO
Stick loads of pics etc on insta as well juts to rub it in more 😅
I wouldn't be as talkative to them now next time you see them