Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

Cant cancel.. But will still go. :)
And have a great time.

Yeah that is part of the issue in that its a set cost. Its not like parking where you can come and go for the hours you use.
Its we need somewhere as a base for the weekend
Talked about that.
That involves needing a place beyond 10am on Sunday. Which they will use.
Irrespective of if we all go home on Sunday evening.

I can see how it might look to the relatives that you are trying to get them to subsidise your third night.

You booked 3 nights without consultation and you are the only ones who want or need the third one. There was no minimum stay requirement. So you need to pay the third night yourselves as a couple and divide the other two nights by six. Pretty much the £80 suggested.

But after such haggling over £20, I can't see that spending the weekend together would seem that appealling to anyone now.

Hi, I've not read all the posts, but have read yours. Nowhere, unless I've missed it have you said what your partner thinks about this dilemma?

Unfortunately it seems whatever you do not everyone will be happy and not everything is fair. Try and do what makes your partner happy as it's their family. Me I'd just tell them to pay their third or not come, unless my OH told me not too, lol!
Oh and I'd have the king-size or double! ;)

Yeah.
Issue is its already booked.
We did have the chat. And the offer was its x amount. Weve booked for three nights if you want to join.

So its fair if they so no and fair if they say yes. They choose if they want to come and how long for.
We as a group really, need a base for the Sunday day time.

It would be reasonable everyone goes home at same time Sunday. But there wasnt an option to book to the evening of Sunday.

Also it may be £20 for them. But it works out 320 for four, and 420 for two.
The maths for that isnt right.
Pp pn is 50ish if done fair according to chat gpt.
So its roughly 100pp for them and 150pp (it works out actually more for us at 170)

Yeah the haggling is far from nice.
The issue was both parties have different ideas of whats fair. But also didn't want to not explain the maths as to how calc was made so it makes sense that it was made or intended on whats fair and beyond.

Yeah I have been talking to partner the whole time.
The conversation is between my OH and his family member.

Yeah its important for me that hes okay.
But also that hes treated fairly.
If that makes sense.
Ie I dont want him/us to get taken advantage of. I also dont want to take advantage of the others either.

Just want peace and things to be nice easy and fair.
I thought what we were doing and suggesting was fair.
But I wonder if the calculations weren't understood.
Or if they wanted to pay less. It's just them paying less means everyone else has to cover what they dont. More than already as we didnt do it in 1/3s to be nice and encourage people to come in the first place.
:s

@Lalalalala555 glad that the OH is fully on board.

You say:
"Just want peace and things to be nice easy and fair.
I thought what we were doing and suggesting was fair.
But I wonder if the calculations weren't understood.
Or if they wanted to pay less. It's just them paying less means everyone else has to cover what they dont. More than already as we didnt do it in 1/3s to be nice and encourage people to come in the first place.
:s"

I'm afraid it is clear from what has gone on that a decision will have to be made that won't entail fairness.

In which case I would suggest you take £80 each off of both sets of people, cover the extra yourselves and chalk it down to experience. It's not that much extra for the peace it will hopefully provide you and the others. Probably the best way to ensure everyone enjoys the holiday.

#(What'sSoFunny'Bout)PeaceLoveAndUnderstanding

It's not about covering the cost.
Its about that I feel uncomfortable with it being 160 for them, and 420 for us.
When they'd be using the place on the Sunday as well.
And it just doesnt sit easy or feel fair.

Basically I don't feel comfortable with that proposal. We said what it would cost, its a holiday cottage.
OH feels the same.
Couple 2 are happy and chill.

I just dont feel comfortable going with that arrangement.

They said theyre not willing to go if they don't get to pay what they want. Which is fair enough.

Well there's your answer then. I thought there was a problem? They pay the price or they don't go you say and everyone is okay with that bar them.
I didn't realise it was sorted. Happy holidays.

say you can come for £80 but they have to have the two singles, you have the king and other couple the double room

as you are paying the most you should get best room not worst

@Cottagecheeseisnotcheese I don't think they should let the other couple stay for the 80 pounds per person even if they don't fill the other room. I doubt room price is the only thing they will haggle on. What about a trip to the shop for a few bits or drinks for the weekend? What if they stay until 7 pm, or last minute decide they will sleep over anyway as it's too late to make the drive home? I wouldn't offer it as a gift for a birthday or Christmas, either. If offered as a gift, then will OP have to pick up the cost of everything for them?

Any extra paid for weekend extras will feel like much more if they compromise on the price and don't want to do so. I'd be much more relaxed not having to think about any of that, even if it cost me more money.

Will the other couple who are coming be happy sharing with a different third set of friends?

The cottage doesn't cost any less if they stay a third or not, you told them this price and they said yes. I'd reply "sorry the cottage doesn't offer a discount for under occupancy"

If they can't accept this they'll be penny pinching the whole trip and you might all end wishing they weren't there even if it meant paying more

So I did some maths.

740/6=124 (per person)
124/3=41 (per night per person)
so if 4 people did 3 nights at 41 per night=492
ans if 2 people did 2 night @41=164
So 492+164=656

meaning you’d have to find 84. Which decided between 4 people is an extra £21 each…..

so why is yours going up to over £200?!?

edit: however my maths might not be mathing so please correct me if I’m wrong!!!

YANBU

Yes. I being able to be relaxed is important. And at peace.
They said no thanks as we said no to 80pp they wanted.
And said theyd find somewhere else.
I know that the local area is totally booked up - hence why we booked something fast rather than a group discussion and decision time.
And also knew this was a financial dice roll in terms of if other people would want to join.

Following advice on here OH has given them til tomorrow to decide if they want to stay for 100pp.
As although they already said no to that, I don't know if they'd want to change their mind after thinking about it. We've explained the maths. I am fairly certain that they will struggle to find somewhere else for the same price or less unless they camp (dont have anything against camping). And also they may change their mind on wanting to miss out on a group trip for 20pp.
But we see.

Either way OH and I are at peace with it being something they can choose to accept or not.

Thats a phrase to use thanks.

Hopefully everyone reading this is learning from my experience
I'd never choose, book and pay for a holiday without checking with others first. And then TELLING them the plans and cost. Who does that?

You needed to go somewhere so you chose and booked the accomodation because you had to go there anyway. Then you have tried to subsidise the trip that YOU are taking
If you have all discussed it as a group and thought it would be nice to arrange a joint trip together I'd honestly be pissed that someone thought they'd just go ahead and take control of the joint trip. That's how it's gotta look to them. I doubt it's all about the money. This has to be completely not what they all had in mind when talking about how nice it would be to go to wherever you are going. No one else got any say in when and how and where. Can you not see that you having other plans but wanting some of your costs covered so you've invited others isn't really the fun trip away you all talked about 🤷‍♀️

If they change their minds and accept then ask them to transfer the money immediately.

ok so I’m going to calculate this out on an hourly basis for a bit of fun

Assuming access allowed from 3pm ( some places allow 2 some 4 so I’ve gone mid way ).

Day 1. 3pm Friday to 3pm Saturday = 24 hours
Day 2. 3pm Saturday to 3pm Sunday = 24 hours
Day 3. 3pm Sunday to 10am Monday = 19hours

£740 / 67 hours = £11:05/hour = £265:07/day of 24 hrs

Day 1. All of you there so £265:07/ 3 couples = £88:36/couple

Day 2. All of you there so £265:07/3couples = £88:36/ couple

Day 3. Part a) All of you there from 3pm to 8pm so
5hrs x £11:05/hr = £55:25 / 3 couples = £ 18:42/couple
( Assuming you won’t be chucking people out and they could feasibly stay till 8pm and still get to work the next day )

Day 3. Part b) 8pm to 10am so
14hrs x £11:05/hr = £154:70 / whoever stays

So ignoring the contentious Day3 Part b) for now

The rest of the time can be the same cost to everyone based on hours at the holiday let

All couples therefore pay

Day 1 + Day 2 + Day 3 part a) = £ 88:36 + £88:36 + £18:42 = £195:14 / couple

Day 3 part b) of £154:70 is divided by how many couples stay so just you OP or you and the other couple

Couple 1 pays
£195:14 and leaves Sunday eve

Couple 2 pays
£195:14 and leaves Sunday eve or if they stay for the full let £272:49

OP pays
£272:49 if couple 2 stay on for the full let
£349:84 if you get the last night on your own .

(I’ve rounded up each time so this comes to £740:12)

Remember OP you get to keep all the food in the fridge too
Ensure anyone leaving early tidies their rooms and helps with the kitchen before they leave
( I’m assuming you plan to tidy before you leave )

So that was fun😳

I still think it’s unfair on you OP. It’s not like you can sleep in all the rooms so why should you have to pay.
Or maybe if ( you bring some extra sheets ) you and your dh could try out all the rooms on that last night 😉

I think I deserve a gin now

I agree - after all, as you say, they will effectively be getting the best part of an extra day even if they decide not to stay the night.

You’ve spent 4 pages responding to posts about this, they have pulled out so leave it at that and go on with your trip. If you can find someone else fine if not it’s what it is.

As you said you don’t want to set the precedent or subsidizing them and as others have said they will probably penny pinch all weekend.

I think the fact they are not going to come is the best result you can get OP

They sound really cheeky and tight, they know full well how cottage rental works and were going to try to get a cheap deal at you and your DP expense

You know full well it would be a weekend of tiresome quibbling about bills, expenses and costs.

Draw a line under it and invite some friends instead.

AND TAKE THE NICEST ROOM!!! You organised it and are paying the most so it's yours.

You paid for the cottage BEFORE the other couples confirmed. You would NOT have booked that cottage before the other couples confirmed, if you really didn't want or couldn't afford to stay 3 nights in it by yourselves. Given that you did book it first charge other people for what they want to use. You were happy paying X (the full amount for all 3 nights), any less than X you have to pay is a happy bonus, not a necessity. If you'd cared about the money, you would have have to get the other couples confirmed before you booked, or book a smaller place. NO GRAY AREAS!