To ask you not to ask women if they are expecting, especially if they are 53

[Okonimiyaki]

Never started a thread here before. But really hurt and humiliated.

I am 53. I am not overweight. I am 5'8 and a size 12. But thanks to menopause,
genes, and a medical condition I carry weight in my belly. I am not asking how to lose that. Already doing all I can. My waist is about 30-31.

Went to an event tonight with complete strangers. Thought I looked good. Quite early on a woman says v loudly" Are you expecting?". I was rather taken aback. I don't ask this even of my friends. She didn't apologise when I said I was not..I felt humiliated tbh, though I laughed it off with a reference to my grown up DC.

Is this something you ask women you have just met? Especially when they are 53!

You should never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless the baby is literally dangling out of her fanny.

Some people are just rude twats with no filter.
I've had "when's it due?" several times
No I'm not pregnant, just got a food/wine baby going on in there so shut your face! 😁😂
I just tend to say "not pregnant, I'm just fat" and laugh.
Soon shuts them up and fun to watch them squirm 😁

@Aydel You should never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless the baby is literally dangling out of her fanny

yes! 😁

Some people just have no filter

In general so many people have forgotten their manners or etiquette

I’ve had this twice lately too 😭. The 2nd one was a man insisting that my partner and I took the (small) hotel lift before him. We said no thanks and he said “but you’re pregnant!” Uhh no. 5’7”, size 12 too.

That's awful. I only asked this once when I saw dh's cousin give her name at the antenatal clinic reception. Turned out she was lost and she was supposed to be at the coloposcopy clinic (not sure if I've spelt that right). Completely mortified and will never do that again.

When I was working in a pharmacy we were told to say "could you possibly be pregnant?" because it sounded less like we thought she looked pregnant. Or "are you pregnant or breastfeeding?" because most people wouldn't be offended by that.

Would she have known your age? Maybe you just look youthful.

Altho she is a cheeky cow for asking.

Also I was swigging wine!😂 want to hide away and never emerge from the blankets. Menopause is tough enough without trying to conceal my tummy.

My thoughts exactly

If anyone dares ask again throw it back - No, but how far along are you?

Even if she didn't know her age, she should have just shushed though 😁

Yeah but even then it might be an art sculpture or something 🤷‍♂️🤣

I am 10 years older than you and very recently I was having some bloods taken, and the nurse asked me if I was pregnant. I laughed, and asked if he asked men the same question. (Men were asked when having covid vaccines)

I'm 52- if someone thought I was young enough to be pregnant I'd kiss them😆
Serious acouple of times when I was in my 30s I was asked if I was pregnant when I wasnt - usually when I my young children with me- I was mortified! Just struggled to lose a rounded belly after DC .
So it is insensitive to ask.
But on the upside you clearly look about 10 years younger!

At 53 I'd take it as a compliment, thinking I must look at least 10 years younger!

This is really not a humble brag. I could pass for 50, maybe, but definitely not younger.

Does that mean I look 20 years younger ? 😊

Oh my. How rude of her! I bet you looked good OP and I hope it didn’t ruin your evening or confidence.

It never fails to astound me how utterly rude and thoughtless people can be!

I get similar, im 50 but nosey, rude people ask whether I have kids, or when I’m gonna have them or why don’t I have them!! I don’t understand it.

How bizarre. You must look young OP!
I don't know what goes through people's heads, you should never ask someone that unless you are 110% sure.

It's happened to me twice, in my 20's and daft enough to be wearing smock tops with big boobs. It's humiliating, I also laughed it off but ohhh it stung

Years ago, a slim pregnant woman at work was talking about not being offered a seat on the tube. And a young man said 'You can't always tell so I'd rather make a pregnant woman stand than make a fat girl cry'. I think he had he right attitude.

It's just people being unfiltered and thick.

My waist is about 30-31.

Thoughts and prayers. 🌹

On the plus side she obviously thought you looked young enough to be expecting so there is that!

YANBU I hate this! It's so beyond rude.