19 year old coming in all hours AIBU

156 replies

Crazylou1981 · 18/03/2024 19:39

Hi,

i have a 23 and 19 year old who live at home with my partner and his children 12 &14.
my 23 year doesn’t really go out more of a gamer which results in needing him to be asked to be quiet. He is meant to be off at midnight. I have hammered down on this recently

my other child is refusing to come home at 11 in the week as he needs to be out with his friends. This can be any time between midnight and 4am. They are not always the quietest either by banging doors or cooking. He lives 50/50 between me and their dad. The lateness has worsened since passing their test and dad buying a car. Dad and I are no contact due to Domestic abuse.

Aibu to ask for him to be home at 11pm Sunday-Thursday.

regards,

crazy

OP posts:

ForestBather · 21/03/2024 21:13

Victoria3010 · 21/03/2024 19:54

I think it depends how bad the noise is, but ultimately I'd treat them like an adult housemate/lodgers, some stuff they do will be a bit annoying/not line up with how you live and thats ok (especially if they pay rent or contribute in some way, they have a right to live their lives). If it is really not livable for the rets of you, I'd have another conversation and agree some house rules but this time set a consequence such as the router being unplugged at midnight (personally I'd be saying, maybe it's time you look for your own place as living with a family who have to be up for work etc might not be a good fit).

It's not the same because an adult housemate or lodger would be paying an equal share of the bills, not being subsidised significantly by the home owner. I wouldn't kick my kids out but a lodger would be given notice very quickly if they were disturbing my sleep.

bakebeans · 24/03/2024 14:35

Kaiserchief · 19/03/2024 22:33

No but I was living in my own place and not under someone else’s roof making noise when they’re trying to sleep.

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Hence why I said set some ground rules!

JMSA · 24/03/2024 14:39

It's consideration you should be aiming for, rather than control.

Everanewbie · 24/03/2024 18:41

JMSA · 24/03/2024 14:39

It's consideration you should be aiming for, rather than control.

Sums up my view beautifully.

bakebeans · 31/03/2024 10:57

ForestBather · 19/03/2024 21:57

When I was 19 I had my own home, own baby and own partner and paid all our own bills. Broken sleep didn't really affect me then either, but it sure does now.

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Me too. Hence the reason I said to set some ground rules. You can't stop them going out but they need to be mindful about other people who live there!

TheSoundThatIWasHearing · 31/03/2024 11:01

If they won't behave considerately, you can impose any rules you like as it is your house. If they don't like it, they are free to leave and get their own place. No way would I put up with being woken up all the time.

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