I definitely think this. Ours are 25,24 and 21. The 21 year old is still at home and our 24 year old came home last year for 6 months after being kicked out of his shared house (because he was “selfish” and didn’t play by the house rules- their reason).
My job, even when they’re adults, is to
make sure they are reasonable people. So the living at home rules are really strict. To put into context, I left home at 16, so age or adapting isn’t an excuse for behaving badly or being disrespectful in my world. My children have had good care and lots of nurture, but I’m preparing them for life in the real world. There are consequences if they can’t manage life outside of the home. (Being kicked out is a great example).
When the 24 yr old came back, the rule about gaming was clear. He could go
out to do it, but he wasn’t sitting up all night connected and he wasn’t running a cable through my house. We both work at home, the 21 year old often has to be up early and we need to be aware of the impact of our behaviour on others. Also, his gaming was part of the reason he was kicked out, because he was frankly dirty and didn’t care, or contribute to the house as agreed. I wasn’t inviting that back! I was really honest with him too.
I don’t curfew in and out, but I expect them to be respectful when they do come home late. It doesn’t always work, because sometimes they are drunk… but they do try and so do we if we come back late. They also both work in hospitality so their shifts can end really late.
So. I think whatever the rules are in your home, they abide to. It’s your home. If they want different rules, they need to look at somewhere else. Just because they are adults doesn’t mean your rules don’t apply. If anything I think it’s more important that they do because that’s how life works.