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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn’t bring a gift for the baby

231 replies

fauxpasfriday · 18/03/2024 18:38

Friend A met Friend B’s baby this weekend but didn’t bring a gift.

However, Friend A gave a gift at the baby shower and posted a small present on arrival.

Baby is 2 months but friends don’t live close.

Is Friend A UR?

OP posts:
Stravaig · 19/03/2024 23:11

PeoplePleaser A is unreasonable for giving two presents already, thereby reinforcing the greed and entitlement of MamaZilla B. One gift is more than sufficient. None is also fine. It is the welcome and blessings for the new arrival that are important.

Of course, if baby is genuinely lacking in basic essentials, then social services should be made aware. See what MZ makes of that!

Shouldbedoing · 19/03/2024 23:12

I'm from a Scottish family and you would always put money in a baby's hand the first time you met them. For luck.
But no need for further gifts.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 20/03/2024 05:04

Are you actually going to explain the situation to us? Is b annoyed/did they say something? Maybe they are just annoyed as you only told them half a story

MisAvi · 20/03/2024 09:43

Why would friend A bring a third gift?!
2 is more than generous and thoughtful.
Personally I’d be happy that people just want to come and meet the baby and spend their time, even if they only brought a little congrats card….

2mumlife · 20/03/2024 10:28

No one should ever expect anyone to give gifts to their baby. Anything that is given is generous and shouldn't be an expectation

Beautiful3 · 20/03/2024 10:29

She already gave a gift at the baby shower though. That's enough. You can't expect a present every single time they meet.

MsPossibly · 20/03/2024 11:07

If I went to visit a new mum for the first time, I'd always bring something cheerful for her (not the baby!) - even if just some flapjack I'd made or some nice teabags. I don't think I'd go empty handed.

1mabon · 20/03/2024 12:11

Quite right, two gifts are generous.

teabooks · 20/03/2024 13:54

I had 2 children no baby showers no gifts no constant talks about babies either.
How did i cope without the above.
It must have worked out their adults now it did not effect them or me.
The way i see it is if one wants to bring a gift up to them piss of with the baby showers.
No gift no harm i had the baby i dont expect others to pay for it or expect gifts when they see the baby.

Imisssleep2 · 20/03/2024 15:59

The gift at the shower should have been sufficient, one on arrival is more than generous, if a third was expected, friend b is greedy and ungrateful

Sennelier1 · 20/03/2024 18:03

If you plan to go and see the new baby in the first weeks you hand over your gift at that occasion. If you don't know when you'll see the baby you send a gift in the mail (or other options). Can't keep giving new gifts every time you see the baby, right?

Havinganamechange · 20/03/2024 18:17

Friend A has given two gifts, one for the baby shower and one on arrival. What does friend B expect? A present every time they meet up? How silly, baby has had two gifts, that’s one more than I would have given.

Danielle9891 · 20/03/2024 18:21

This is why I didn't have a gender reveal or a baby shower. I wouldn't want people to feel they need to buy for my baby. I think it's cheeky to expect presents.

PeachyPeachTrees · 20/03/2024 18:26

1 gift at the baby shower or one at first visit. 1 card in the post after baby's arrival.

Catsandcuddles · 20/03/2024 18:29

Has friend B actually said anything, or were just wondering on reflection if you should have given another gift?

we all slating Friend B at the moment who might not have even said anything...

CustardySergeant · 20/03/2024 18:33

Catsandcuddles · 20/03/2024 18:29

Has friend B actually said anything, or were just wondering on reflection if you should have given another gift?

we all slating Friend B at the moment who might not have even said anything...

Exactly. OP has only posted twice. I don't understand the point of the thread when there is zero information about whether or not B said anything to indicate she unhappy with A.

Catsandcuddles · 20/03/2024 18:35

Maybe she is friend B but pretending to be A..Otherwise as you said, what is the point in creating the thread.

JenniferandJuniper · 20/03/2024 18:44

Two separate gifts plus I assume travelling to the baby shower and travelling to visit as you say you don't live near each other, I would be grateful you had travelled twice as well as grateful for the two gifts.

Justcallmebebes · 20/03/2024 18:52

Yes, you are v unreasonable to not come back and update

Tiddlywinks63 · 20/03/2024 18:53

PaminaMozart · 18/03/2024 18:45

I feel very old.

When I had mine, I was lucky/grateful to receive one/any gift from anyone...

No baby showers, obviously.

Me too!

CestLaVie123 · 20/03/2024 18:53

Gifts have been given by friend A, so all good!
I had v close friends give absolutely nothing (no money issues, and we had given them baby gifts for their babies)

FreddieMercurysCat · 20/03/2024 18:54

Good god! 2 gifts already. There’s really no need for any more. If friend B sees it as unreasonable then friend B is a grabby madam.

Phoenixfire1988 · 20/03/2024 19:10

Friend A has already given 2 gifts if friend B is moaning they didn't get another they need to pull their head from up their ass

NoDought · 20/03/2024 19:31

This has got to be a joke? Has friend A got to bring a gift from now until eternity whenever she sees the child? She sounds incredibly generous already giving two gifts. Please tell us, are you friend B?

PrestonHood121 · 20/03/2024 19:39

Baby showers are for baby gifts. No gift needed when meeting the baby if they attended the baby shower.