Four children 1-14 years sharing room

[Parques]

AIBU to think it's ridiculous and irresponsible that 4 children (same sex - male) aged from 1-14 are sharing a bedroom? There is a fifth child - a girl - who has her own room. There are no funds to extend/loft conversion etc. The children were all planned. No multiple births.

I don't think studying or doing homework for hours during exam times from your room and especially your bed is great anyway unless you are forced too

I'd stick the 1 year old in a cot in the girl's room, until aged 5 (when the 14 year old should be moving out). Unless the baby doesn't sleep well. In which case, I'd rotate the baby between rooms, including the parent's room.
But I suspect this is a blended family - and the girl is not a full sibling of the brothers? And when she visits she gets special treatment from Dad? And she's not your daughter, right?
And you don't want the baby in your room with you and your partner?

Where are you in this and why does this interest you so much?

@TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow I have a fold up table that I use as a desk. That could be used in a bedroom easily (while sitting on the edge of the bed).
Mine was £15 quid from decathlon.

Not really getting the point of this post. Do we want these children, or some of them, taken in to care?

I grew up in a 3 bedroom house. 3 sisters shared one room, 5 brothers another and parents in the last bedroom. I believe this affected my development but the snarky, superior but ultimetely unhelpful judgement of others had a bigger effect.

Do you planned to have all those children knowing your circumstance's?

Like I said, that can be a personal choice for you and your family. Not everyone thinks like you do. It is not like this family can get rid of the kids they have now, so they need to make the best of it. We are all (some) just giving ideas. If the family would rather put the infant with the girl, fine. But, in my family, we would try and do the best we can for privacy (aka, privacy screen or curtain as I suggested) but I am really having a hard time seeing how sharing a room with a younger sibling takes away your dignity. I really want you to spell it out for me how sharing for a while until a new situation is made is bad. maybe the baby moves in with the teen girl as they both age or maybe they get up enough money to move or addon to the house, I really want you to completely explain to me how there is any lost dignity. What do you think these kids are going to do to each other?

@mandlerparr It sounds like they are making the best of it already, the only thing I would do differently is to keep the toddler in the parents room a little longer, but for this family it may work better the way they have it. If you don't understand why it's preferable for a girl starting puberty to not have to share with a boy then I can't help you. In this family the boys are able to share so there is no reason why the girl should need to.

You are far too reasonable and live and let live for this op. She’s after confirmation that these people are reprehensible, purely on the basis of the children’s sleeping arrangements. Nosy, petty and really quite silly 🙄

We always shared a room when we were kids. 7 kids in a 3 bed. The two oldest teenage girls got one room and the other 4 two boys, two girls shared until we were about 12. It really didn't bother me or my siblings, in fact I don't recall even considering any particular bed as my own, I just slept where I landed in the room as did my brother's, only one sister bothered about which bed she was in. We were all happy. As we grew up and moved out, there became less to a room and eventually boys got a room and girls then the final two eventually got a room of thier own, but if I'm honest when I first did get a room of my own I didn't like it. I remember there been only 3 of us left, the other two my younger brother and sister were under 10 so my mum spent days sorting out my room at the age of 13 so I had it to myself. The first night I spent 5 minutes in it and returned to my siblings room, the second night I didn't even bother by the third night my mum had moved the bed out and turned the other room into a games room/study/toy room because none of us wanted to be alone. Even now I hate been in a room unless I can hear someone else breathing or snoring.

In case your wondering why it wasn't just boys and girls straight off. The oldest two were in their late teens, had make up, girls stuff the rest of us where kids who just wanted to play the dynamics wouldn't work any other way. The youngest 4 were just compatible. In fact I remember my aunt and 4 cousins moving in for nearly a year in the midst of it. The teenager went in with my sister's and the younger 3 boys between 5-10 came in with the other 4 making 7 in one room. My dad was a joiner and I remember him making beds to fit an alcove that otherwise wouldn't have fit a normal single. The three youngest under five had a hideout bed underneath two bunks which was purpose built. Literally a thick double mattress surrounded by curtains with Thier own blankets. Then there was an extra bunk and we had stackable boxes that opened at the front for our clothes. I'd say honestly it was one of he best times in my childhood.

We never felt like we didn't have our own space. If we wanted quiet we'd literally drag a blanket and sleep on the landing if we wanted. Or crawl into a corner. It was a busy home but a happy one. I did my homework in the cupboard under the stairs and spent time alone in the garden shed. Kids are resilient as long as they are fed, clean, have a bed and are happy what does it matter.

I came here to say similar.

My kids have their own rooms however one refuses to do homework (autistic and has arrangements to do homework at school after school) and the other one has a room so small it literally fits her bed, wardrobe, drawers and the thinnest space to walk along side her bed. No space for a desk to study. She has a lap desk she sometimes uses but often comes downstairs to use the kitchen table. She also has no space to have friends for a sleepover (something another poster commented they would be missing out on in the OP’s situation.

I’d be more worried about how many toilets they have. We struggle with just the one and there’s only three of us (1 adult and 2 kids all female).

I guess it’s each to their own.

If the family is happy with the arrangement, I agree. Like I said, just throwing out ideas. Still don't know what you think these siblings are going to do to each other. If the girl protests, especially as she gets older, fine. Like I said, they can deal with that when they come to it. I just don't know what her period has to do with it. Do you think she should be ashamed of it or do you think the little brother is going to start fainting if he catches sight of blood?

The baby should be in with the parents

As someone who has direct experience of 4 siblings sharing 1 average-sized bedroom I agree it is far from ideal. It’s incredibly selfish to intentionally have more children than you can adequately provide for (obviously circumstances can change for the worse and blended families plus children aren’t always planned etc. but choosing to have 5 children and give them a more challenging life rather than 2 or 3 where you have the space and resources for them is very poor parenting.

I'm one of 5. 3 boys in the biggest bedroom, me and sister in box room. No central heating. One bathroom and an outside loo. I left home at 18 and eldest brother's girlfriend moved in. Never felt hard done by. Of course when I had 2 girls we lived in a 4 bed house they had their own rooms and a study and two bathrooms, luxury.

A lot of libraries are now only open part time.

As people mentioned years gone by kids shared rooms, my mum grew up 2 bedroom house with 7 kids 5 girls in 1 room parents in other room, 2 boys in lounge.

For masturbating 🤭

In years gone by, people used outhouses too. We look at the standard of today, not 50 years ago. If your the only child living a certain way (4 I'm a room) it's not the same as 100 years ago when all families were the same

All children planned. Middle 2 boys 5 and 8 years

Not a blended family. All full siblings.

@Parques you never said who you are in relation to this family.
Are the children unhappy?
Why is it your business?

Why is your business?
Are they cared for properly in every other way?
If so, butt out.

All the people saying it's fine as you did it / your parents did it that doesn't mean it's ok. It means they are also selfish.

I feel sorry for the 1 year old. The older ones must have to tip toe round him once he's in bed too