Four children 1-14 years sharing room

[Parques]

AIBU to think it's ridiculous and irresponsible that 4 children (same sex - male) aged from 1-14 are sharing a bedroom? There is a fifth child - a girl - who has her own room. There are no funds to extend/loft conversion etc. The children were all planned. No multiple births.

The number of siblings one has is not the issue. The issue is making sure your children are able to have privacy when they need it, especially in the teen years. You can't do that with 7 people in a 3 bedroom house.

This was my DH set up, he loves his siblings, he didn't love sharing a room with 2 of them.

He often says how lucky our own DC are to have space to study, or pursue quiet or creative hobbies which he feels he never had.

It's none of your business how many kids someone has or how many bedrooms they have. Worry about your own life. Are you jealous of them or something? They might not have many rooms but they have 5 healthy children which is a blessing

I have 3, 2 girls and a boy in one bedroom. There isn't anything I can do about it unfortunately as I can't afford a bigger place. They wernt born into this living arrangement, my circumstances drastically changed, as could anybodies unfortunately.

Sharing with one sibling could easily be worse than sharing with three. Sharing with a close in age sibling could easily be worse than one a decade younger.

My cousins lived in a three bedroom house. The four boys shared the biggest room and the two girls the second biggest room. It wasn’t an issue, although they did all leave home early!

People have different views. I am one of 9 and we were in a 3 bed house. I am the only girl and shared with the 3 youngest boys. It wasn't ideal no, but my youngest brothers and I are so close - it is genuinely the gift of my life to have them. I find a lot of the issues discussed really alien to me. I did not choose it for my kids but it was a wonderful way to live for me, and I shared a single BED let alone a bedroom.

Jealous? I doubt it.

I had 5 boys in one massive bedroom until eldest was 16 and youngest was 8. Then we split the room into 2 and now the 17 and 15 year olds share and the 13, 10 and 9 year olds share.

I wouldn't choose it and like others I'd worry they were missing out in other ways. But DH and his brother shared a bed (!) growing up, until DB went off to the army. It was a one-bed flat, their parents had a pull-out bed in the living room. Not uncommon in the USSR. They also went to a school that had to teach in two shifts to deal with the number of students. MN would be clutching its collective pearls.

One's now a fighter pilot, the other an IT consultant. Apparently unscathed.

They have decided to have five children, it’s their business as long as the children are fed and loved. Hats off to them that they are not relying on the government to house them, however sad for any of the children wanting to study with the baby in the room but maybe there’s the school library.

If those children are loved, fed, and cared for it is not completely selfish nor irresponsible.

How does this impact you?

I would say you’re incredibly rude and judgemental. They’re working hard and making it work. Good on them - do you know how much hard work it would be? They clearly love children and have worked their arses off to create their family unit.

Are you aware of how many families grew up with 6, 7, 8 out more to a single room in this country? They all managed.

Shame on you for judging them. They’re far wealthier than you are.

Honestly i am probably going to have an only child in a 2 or 3 bed flat though third bedroom would be a tiny box room but i applaud this family for being able to make it work despite the difficult circumstances.

I agree with you OP, but it seems - surprisingly - the majority on here don't.

I can't imagine choosing that kind of set up for my children. Why would you? Why wouldn't you have fewer children but facilitate a better quality of life for them?

I think in that kind of situation, the parents wanting lots of children seems to override the potential happiness of the children. So I view it as very selfish tbh.

Why on earth would anyone be jealous of having five children in a cramped house!?

Lol

Are you aware of how many families grew up with 6, 7, 8 out more to a single room in this country? They all managed.

My grandfather's parents had six girls in one room, four boys in another and themselves in the sitting room, the three eldest children having left home for apprenticeships or nursing at that point. His only regret was not having the opportunity to stay on at school (scholarship boy).

@Weightlosssideeffect but they already had a lovely family unit with fewer children...so why choose fo give each child less? Which is what you are choosing to do each time you add to a family.

@Weightlosssideeffect

How do you know the children are loved?

How do you know they're taken care of?

How do you know the parents work 'their arses off'?

Why does the fact that other children grow up in worse situations somehow negate any valid concerns people have raised?

Why are you assuming that 'they're far wealthier', we don't even know if the children are happy?

How do you know the parents aren't selfish, they could have kept baby in their room for a bit longer rather than putting them with the older ones?

Yours was such an a oddly defensive reply, are you wondering if this thread is about you?😂

Are you aware of how many families grew up with 6, 7, 8 out more to a single room in this country? They all managed.

As I pointed out earlier, people did put up with all sorts of things that we wouldn’t want to now. It’s called progress and contraception

A blessing to the parents, maybe. But not to the kids. And in my view, a good parent chooses what it best for their existing children.

I grew up in a massive family (won’t say how many as it’s outing) and although we had a big house there were some of us who had to share. The four eldest girls (inc me) had two bedrooms from but every night we shared one room with two sets of bunkbeds. Secrets were shared, we cried laughing, fought like cat and dog, stories were invented, midnight snacks were plundered. They were wonderful times and we are all incredibly close. All our children are like siblings. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Siblings can absolutely be a blessing and may be what is best.

Surely that is luck rather than judgement?

Siblings can absolutely be a blessing and may be what is best.

You obviously haven't been on mumsnet long enough to read the huge number of threads where this isn't the case.