Four children 1-14 years sharing room

[Parques]

AIBU to think it's ridiculous and irresponsible that 4 children (same sex - male) aged from 1-14 are sharing a bedroom? There is a fifth child - a girl - who has her own room. There are no funds to extend/loft conversion etc. The children were all planned. No multiple births.

Indeed

I don't think it is statutory overcrowding. Any living rooms count as 'sleeping accommodation' which presumably they have at least 1.

The use of the bedroom in that way, is overcrowded.

The house itself wouldn't be, which makes it all the more bizarre as there is extra space. It is actually possible to move people around, but no. Four children from 1-14 in one room is fine, it seems.

It really depends on the age of the DC. Plus there is another option no matter the ages - that the parents sleep downstairs and/or the baby sleeps with them.

I do it as do others I know. Why on earth would your mum not give up her room? I find that very selfish. I love in a 2 bed house. My 2 DC (boy/girl) shared initially but now they have their own rooms. They are at the age of having friends over/sleepovers I'd give up anything for their benefit.

Yes, after I realised the age of the infant I posted again to suggest much the same.

Tbf, unexpected pregnancies do happen even when using contraception. I had a friend who planned and had 4 DC. She then went on the pill and got pregnant while on it. Then she had a coil fitted while her DH was on the waiting list for the snip. She fell pregnant with twins!

That's a single pregnancy, not multiple unexpected pregnancies though.

That was quite usual when I was growing up. That's the norm for many cultures here in the UK. You can make that work. Do you know that the last baby was planned, or did they get caught? It's difficult to abort a full sibling to your children. Are they good parents in every other way? I'm surrounded by shit parenting, so less than ideal wouldn't get a comment from me.

No, it's two unexpected pregnancies while on contraception after having four planned children.
So with two planned children, and two unplanned, this family could easily be the same.
Anyway, I'm guessing we'll never get to hear the ages of the middle boys.

Once the eldest is approaching secondary age I would in your situation. Not if they were same sex.

I would think there is a point at which it would be quite hard to find space for solitude. If there is only one small reception room and cramped bedrooms with multiple siblings I would not think it would be easy to find some peace and quiet.

Also you can still have family to find solace in. Cousins and aunts and uncles etc.

So the baby could go in with the parents downstairs, two eldest have their own rooms and 2 younger ones share.

How awful someone has five children !
How awful the boys share a room!
How awful they are not in a position to move to a larger house!
How awful you look down on them!

The youngest can be in the bedroom with parents, next youngest can share with 11 year old girl with a screen set up or curtain for dressing privacy. Problem solved.

I got pregnant on everything. Got a tubal finally, after years of asking and being denied and I am still afraid.

Sounds horrendous. I feel bad for the 14 year old. How is he meant to do homework with a 1 year old in his room? The parents should have the 1 year old in their room. It's not fair expecting the older children to watch a baby during the night.

Presuming it wasn’t an unexpected turn of events yes it s ridiculous and unfair on the children. And I’m not sure why the girl couldn’t share with the youngest, a 1 year old really doesn’t make any difference what sex they are

OP you seem to know a lot of personal details about this family; that all 5 pregnancies were planned, that the house has a mortgage, and that they don’t have the funds for an extension…

My 3rd bedroom is too small to do homework or have people in it anyway. Ds1 and ds2 when he had it took over the living room if they had friends round. Ds1 had left school by the time we moved in here

we have 2 tiny rooms with doors, windows and lighting that you can just fit a desk in so ds2 had one of those to game and do homework when he was sharing with his younger brothers . If we hadn't he would have used the kitchen .

He obviously didn't hate sharing that much as he gave his room up when he moved to uni and now shares with ds 13 when he's home. His choice

For how long? I would not want a boy who is 4 or older in with an 11 year old girl. The toddler would be fine with either the parents or the girl for now, but in a couple of years they'll be in the same situation as now anyway.

That is a personal choice. A lot can happen in 4 years. And what is wrong with a 4 year old with an 11 year old? Going back to 11 year old me, I would much rather room with a 4 year old than an infant.

@TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow how can a room be to small for homework? I used to just sit on the bed.

You seem quite het up about it though, OP. Which child are you?

It's not like they're in social housing with their sad faces in the Daily Mail demanding the council give them a six bed house with ensuites for all family members paid for by the tax payer.

If the parents are happy about with the situation and nobody is being neglected, starved or abused, then seems like one of those things you just chalk up to bad differential decision-making by other families and NOYB.

A four year old is a school aged child, not a baby or toddler. An 11 year old girl should not be sharing with a school aged boy for privacy and dignity reasons.

Well too small for the desk people keep going on about then

Good for you, I'd rather be at a desk and my dc are obviously the same .