To consider having a baby at 44

[littleloopylou]

I already have one child whom I love dearly. She desperately wants a sibling.

My partner and I met late in life.

We are financially secure.

I am aware it might not be possible.

@Josette77 the stress of managing my daughter's feelings and problems is probably the biggest factor in my hesitation. Her father will almost certainly torment us both for as long as he can get away with it. Police and Social Services recently investigated and Social Services (incredibly) ended up saying I should encourage their relationship and ensure she sees him even though he committed very serious physically abuse against her 😔

What about a pet?

@Acornsoup I have thought about this! It's not the same as having a permanent member of your family (or a lovely, squishy baby).

For me the feeling someone was missing just wouldn't go away.

Your 7 yo has been physically abused by her dad???

Then No. I think it's time to just focus on your little girl.

She is going to need a lot of support in the future.

Hi op, wondering what your decision was and how things are? I'm 43 and have had a difficult three years with 2 surprise natural pregnancies that ended in terminations for very different reasons. I have a 10 year old DD via IVF and only now feel ready to try again. I'll be 44 at least when baby is born. (We have frozen embryos).These threads make me consider things I've never thought about, but I'm starting to feel that if we thought about everything in so much detail we would never do anything!!

Life is full of twists and turns (and risks) no matter what choices we make. I also think once you are a parent, you never stop being one! Yes children become less dependent but at my age now (and an only child myself) I live in the next road to my parents, I see them daily, we go on holidays together and have always been a big part of each others lives. I don't expect or wish for my daughter (or any other children) to be any different! Appreciate not everyone has a family life like this and that's the difference with the replies. I've come to realise I have to do what's best for me, my health, happiness and my family.

I wish you luck for the future x

My Nan gave birth to my dad at 42 and my aunt at 45, years in the early 50s.

no medical help or costly interventions.

With a partner of two years and an existing child suffering from abuse? Hell no.

Well any update here? I think you are not being unreasonable at all - if you want it, go for it and see how it goes 🙂 I think there's a lot of scaremongering around older mums which is unnecessary - I had a healthy baby at 42 & im pregnant again at 44 naturally - baby & pregnancy is going great with no complications! I know much younger mums than me that had issues such as GD & pre-eclampsia so that can occur at any age...

@N1981 We decided not to go ahead with having a baby. Sometimes I feel a bit wistful over it, but I think it was the right choice. We can barely keep things together with our current family and work obligations.

Congratulations. You are obviously very lucky. No one is scaremongering though. The statistics are very clear that all these complications are far more common in older mothers. That's simply stating facts. Women over 35 are older mothers from a medical perspective, never mind 44.
You've made the only sensible choice @littleloopylou