Portion size and DH - crumb of perspective needed

[BakedPotato10]

Name changed

My Husband's done all the cooking today as I'm working on a project - not unusual, we share the life stuff depending who is free.

He made me sourdough and egg this morning for breakfast, around 500 calories I'd say. I've not eaten since and then he made this for dinner at 5ish.
For context, I used to have a physically active job and so have gained weight since being desk based. Peri menopause and increased stress have further cemented bad habits but I am actively working on better routines.

I had a 'feast or famine' childhood with periods of food shortage and food not always equally shared (not abusive, just not positive relationships with food) and so I'm very open to the possibility I'm projecting as I know I struggle with food shortages and dislike greed - maybe I just haven't noticed it in myself until now? But I am also conscious that I don't want further food issues, I eat a lot of fruit and veg and value a good relationship with food. Lately it's feeling quite stressful when I'm with DH.

I do feel that DH portions and attitude to food (increasingly smaller portions, usually only ever 2 meals a day at weekend, referring to food as 'naughty' etc) have only begun since I put on weight. But I'm aware my appetite might just have crept right up and I'm the one who's changed, not him. I feel like I'm being dieted and it's triggering food issues. So I'd like a little perspective please.

YABU - That's plenty of food for a day. Sourdough and egg, jacket potato with chickpea in mayo (a veggie version of tuna mayo) with salad

YANBU - That's not much food for a day.

If you were hungry at lunchtime why didn’t you make yourself some lunch?

Looks fine for a dinner to me, but I wouldn’t of skipped lunch

That’s a fine portion of food for a meal. More likely a lunch. So the egg and bread for breakfast would be good. That would be my lunch and I would have another meal for dinner. That would equate to roughly 1500kcal and would be fine to loose weight on should that be your goal.
2 meals a day would likely just lead to binge eating after a few days/week as it’s not enough food to sustain

I don't think it's much food at all. I would need a slice of toast or a banana or something before bed if that's all I had eaten in a day.
How many eggs did you have for breakfast? If it was just one, then you are definitely NBU.

You are, of course, not being unreasonable to eat to your appetite. If you want(ed) more food, you are perfectly reasonable to make some/go to the shop/takeaway. It would be enough for me, but I am in my 60s and quite sedentary. Have the food you need.

I'll be honest, I'm quite greedy but that looks a reasonable sized helping. Obviously if you are feeling hungry then it's not enough for you, but it's not teeny tiny helpings.

I probably wouldn't have skipped lunch - but tea is early at 5ish. I would probably want something at supper time.

I wasn't hungry at lunch time to be honest. But by dinnertime, as he said he was prepping dinner, I expected a more substantial meal. Fine if a one off but seems to be a running theme so I just wanted some clarity/outsider thoughts.

That's not much -about 1000
Calories!

Get yourself a snickers.

How DH is controlling your diet is concerning!

That would be for me as a meal but I would’ve eaten something light in the afternoon.

Not much. I would want more salad and then if I hadn't had lunch would have a dessert, something like Greek yoghurt and berries or banana

How old is your DH? I've noticed with my relatives that their hunger has nosedived with age and they very commonly just eat two meals a day.

What was this project that meant you couldn't have got lunch yourself?

I would have had the jacket potato for lunch and a larger tea.

I would have a jacket potato and a half for this dinner to suit me. I'd also need a lunch of a sandwich or soup to keep me ticking over. I generally only eat bran flakes, two slices of toast with marmalade or porridge for breakfast though.

I don’t know how to vote because no it’s not enough food for the day but equally it’s a normal portion for a single meal. You’d be fine if you’d eaten a normal lunch and maybe a banana or something in between!

That's a lunch, not a dinner IMO.

Did you have any drinks at all between breakfast & the tea you see as inadadequate?

The other way to see this is that you showed little interest in calories all day, so why should he assume you needed much for tea? All evidence is that you were having a not hungry day. If he noticed what you do & don't eat at all. I don't really track intake by other adults in my household so go on guesses at usual intake per type of meal if I am dishing up.

Assuming he’s not also controlling your access to the kitchen and you can help
yourself to anything else you fancy, I can’t really see an issue?

You're going to have to remember in future that if you leave it to DH that's what you're going to get. If he's cooking himself the same thing that's fine.

i'm confused; you said eggs on sourdough for breakfast (unless 3 eggs and 2 slices of bread with a load a butter it won't be 500cals)
then this photo is again egg salad on toast/bread with a green side salad?
not the portion size but the lack of variety and potentially the number of eggs it's not balanced at all.

I think if you don't like how he does the meals your just going to have to cook for yourself

It looks lovely. I also don't see why you couldn't just have gotten yourself something more if you were hungry.

That and breakfast is a normal day's worth of food for me (I'm size 6-8).
However I would definitely have snacks on top, like a coffee and cake in the late afternoon or some crisps before going to bed.

No the egg was for breakfast the chickpeas for dinner

I'd like something a bit bigger for tea personally. Maybe a snack early evening to deal with the munchies.

You may have to get more involved in the kitchen I think.