Childminder terminated contract

[penelopepinkbott]

Started my son (2.5) with a new childminder a few weeks ago. She seems nice and my son went in very happily. We've had an email saying due to his needs the care of other children has been compromised and she needs to terminate our contract. She thinks a nursery would be better with more staff. She has mainly babies and says he has hurt them on more than one occasion.
We did use a nursery for a few month but they also asked us to leave as they couldn't meet his needs. Both CM and nursery suggest we assess for additional needs. CM sent a report shoring the milestones he wasn't meeting, mainly communication and language. I disagree as I know he can do more than he shows them. AIBU to think childcare should care for my child? Can they wash their hands of him?

If they feel they can't meet his needs then they're not obliged to keep him there, especially if they feel it's unsafe.

Is there a reason you don't want to get him assessed? The fact that two childcare providers have said they can't cope likely means something.

The CM can terminate her contract with you.

If both nursery & a CM tell you he currently has additional needs and isn't meeting his milestones why are you determined to not believe them? If he will only do XYZ at home and not with carers then he isn't meeting the milestones.

Yes they can. They need to think of every child in their care.
Our childminder did it after one day with another child. She knew he was SEN but his mother downplayed it and after one day she said she couldn’t look after him anymore as he would literally run away, in the opposite direction of the group on any outings, and he wasn’t aware of his surroundings. She couldn’t manage him and the rest. Your situation would be different and I can’t imagine cancelling contracts purely because of his speech though. But if he is hurting other children yes they can.

She said his vocabulary is limited to a few words. He has said some other words at home. She says he doesn't adhere to rules and routines. Well he's 2! I could disagree with everything she says really!

I think if 2 separate settings have raised concerns you probably need to take it seriously and consider getting a referral via your GP. It might be worth an off the record conversation between the childminder and you asking her for some more details about what happened with the babies so you can give your GP the fullest picture.

In the meantime I would be very careful about any future childcare - I think I’d be looking for 1-1 care as it’s not fair on your DS to send him somewhere which is not meeting his needs.

How would you feel, if another child had hurt your son when he was a baby? The CM has a duty of care to all of their charges.

She said it was more of a lack of awareness and regard for others than a malicious thing.

If two childcare provisions have asked you to leave then I'd say there's a very good chance that your child 100% has additional needs. If it was just the CM then that's one thing but a nursery would have seen an array of behaviours and they clearly had concerns.
I'd be looking into that if I were you.

Of course any childcare establishment can terminate your contract and ask you to remove your child. For their sake, please speak to your HV and have them assessed. They’ll be able to provide support and hopefully get your child to a position they will cope with school. You don’t want them removed from primary and their education affected.

Why don't you listen to the professionals and get an assessment done as waitlists for SEN are huge already and early intervention is key.
Your child will make more progress in the long run and I would be extremely concerned if 2 professional childcare settings stated they couldn't meet his needs.
Get support in place asap. Even if he can do more, support is never a bad thing.

But his nursery also said the same thing. I think you'd be foolish to dismiss the opinions of two professional childcare settings.

What's the harm in speaking to his GP about it all? If he does have additional needs then he needs all the help he can get.

Honestly OP I mean this kindly if two childcare settings have asked you to leave because they cannot meet your child's needs then he needs an assessment for those needs.

These people will have seen hundreds of children your child's age. He sounds like he needs extra support asap which will then hopefully open up funding for him to attend a setting with the extra assistance in place that he clearly needs.

If two different childcare settings with experience of many different children are telling you that your son may have additional needs and that they are struggling to provide him the support he needs, you need to listen to them.

As a parent of a child with additional needs I sympathise with you. But unfortunately a child minder or nursery are under no obligation to provide your child with their services.

I think the fact that two separate child care providers have voiced their concerns does mean you need to address it. Don't take it as a personal insult as it's not. It's just a fact and you need to come to terms with it. There are going to be a million further struggles as your child gets older.

Firstly I would speak with your GP about referrals to appropriate people for a full assessment - I would recommend you do this now. We have been on the waiting list for 4 years and have now paid for a private assessment as our child was starting to really struggle at school.

Good luck with everything. There is an amazing amount of support out there for parents of children with additional needs - you don't need to go through it alone.

I think if two places have said this that you need to try to move on your mindset from defensive to seeking help and talking to the health visitor.
To answer your question though yes they can do this. There are nurseries who can support children who extra needs, your local SEND support can direct you to them

Listen to them! It’s actually really helpful that you’re getting an early start on identifying his needs, as some people don’t get this sort of information/ understanding until their kids are in school.

I think you need to speak to your GP to work towards getting an assessment of what his needs are and then you can look for childcare that can meet them.

I know it’s an emotional issue and very difficult to take on board so 💐for you.

By 2.5 most children are well on their way to speaking in full sentences. Even if he only says two words with the childminder and a few more at home he is at the very least speech delayed.
What other milestones did the childminder highlight to you?

You are forgetting that she is comparing him to the other two year olds she knows, and she would likely know a lot more two year olds than you do. I am surprised you would reject her feedback.

I would look for a council run nursery. They will be much better at being able to access support. I would also ask your health visitor to see your child and highlight that two childcare settings have raised worries about his behaviour and development. It's hard to tell when they are so little but actually it can be really difficult for parents to get settings to recognise additional needs. I think the childminder did the right thing is she couldn't keep everyone safe. You could also look at opportunity playgroups

It's so bloody sad when as an educator it's clear to you that a child in your care likely has additional needs and their parent is so in denial they won't seek help which could likely make an enormous positive difference in their child's life.

and of course a childminder can refuse any client. They're a private business, not a government funded school who 'have to' take all kids within their catchment area.

honestly, if more than one educator / carer has raised concerns, would it really hurt to seek advice?

OP in the gentlest way if two separate settings have mentioned that he may have SEN then I would consider getting more advice.

I understand it’s frustrating but if she cannot meet his needs(and keep him and the other children safe) then she has done the right thing in ending the contract.

You are doing your child a disservice by ignoring what two childcare providers have told you.
The sooner you start the ball rolling to see if he has additional needs, the better.

You can disagree all you want. The childminder has a duty to keep all the children she cares for safe. She can't do that if your son is hurting them.
Why do you think that you are right but 2 separate childcare providers have told you that your child is a problem?
If I were you, I would be contacting my gp and health visitor first thing Monday morning

If two separate professional childcare settings have flagged something stop ignoring it and do what’s best for your son and seek further help.

You need to start listening.

Maybe have a frank conversation and stop claiming to the fact you think she’s wrong.

DSis had a badly behaved child start with her - he lasted a couple of weeks - no way should anyone have to put up with that type of disruption.

You need to step up and work out what the issues are and deal with then - it’s either behaviour or SEN