Childminder terminated contract

[penelopepinkbott]

Started my son (2.5) with a new childminder a few weeks ago. She seems nice and my son went in very happily. We've had an email saying due to his needs the care of other children has been compromised and she needs to terminate our contract. She thinks a nursery would be better with more staff. She has mainly babies and says he has hurt them on more than one occasion.
We did use a nursery for a few month but they also asked us to leave as they couldn't meet his needs. Both CM and nursery suggest we assess for additional needs. CM sent a report shoring the milestones he wasn't meeting, mainly communication and language. I disagree as I know he can do more than he shows them. AIBU to think childcare should care for my child? Can they wash their hands of him?

I think you're down that big river in Egypt, OP.

You absolutely do need to check this out

Trust me, childcare settings NEVER refuse children unless there is a big problem

Two childcare settings refusing to care for your son is a MASSIVE sign that he has extreme problems which are contrary to him being able to coexist safely with other people

Of course a private childminder can terminate the contract. For whatever reason they like.

I don’t think the OP meant it like that. Rather that it was accidental not deliberate. Parents understandably not wanting their baby stood on is why nurseries generally don’t put non mobile babies in with 2-3 year olds. It’s quite different from a child who hits out of frustration or to snatch toys, for example.

OP, I’d certainly ask the HV to get the ball rolling on a SALT referral if that’s still a thing. The waiting lists can be horrendous. 10 words is a lot fewer than would be expected at his age and may indicate an issue. The earlier you can intervene the better.

Meanwhile have a look at the 18-24 month and 2-3 year sections on here.

https://speechandlanguage.org.uk/help-for-families/ages-and-stages/

It might also be worth having a look at some of their other resources here.

https://speechandlanguage.org.uk/help-for-families/resource-library-for-families/

This. He's either been poorly parented and cannot follow age appropriate expectations, or he has additional needs and cannot follow age appropriate expectations.

They will have given a lot of scope for the fact he's only 2 & in a new environment, this goes beyond that.

Either way, burying your head in the sand isn't going to help.

I think you've been bloody rude about this childminder. She said she would try - she didn't guarantee that she would continue to provide care, even though he's stepping on the babies and biting other people. You've implied she's lazy and cba with a difficult to care for child and that's bang out of order.
To me you are coming across as someone who thinks that the childcare provider should just suck it up, regardless of how other children are affected - this is very selfish. Your DS' behaviour is your issue to deal with, not the childminder's. He's your child and you cannot wash your hands of responsibility and dump him on the CM and expect her to just get on with it, in the name of 'inclusivity'!
If it was your baby getting hurt, you'd soon take a different view.

10 words is really not a lot at that age. When I had my youngest my eldest was 2.5 and he had fluent speech and talked constantly. The youngest (autistic) was not at that level at the same age

As for “he only stands on babies and hits them with toys” ffs stop minimising OP. How would you feel if you sent your baby to childcare and he kept getting stood on and clattered?

@penelopepinkbott the advice will be the same but given with a lot more sympathy if you post in the SN boards in future. I haven’t been there for a while but they were both informative and supportive when my son was younger.

Yes of COURSE his parents know the child, his personality etc better than anyone else, eg you both know he needs to nip when held/lifted, what you are failing to grasp is that you both as non professionals DONT know the developmental stages and behaviours of the average 2 yr old or the red flags around same in the way that professionals that are trained and have worked with many many nearly 3 year olds are.
You aren't aware that that nipping could v likely be sensory seeking behaviour, no one expects you as a parent to know that, but you could at least just listen to the information people are trying to give you, if that is what you child needs why not pick up ways to help support him in his development?

You would be better speaking with your health visitor; a GP will only be able to redirect. Your local Council Education department will have an Early Years team who should be able to offer guidance too.

The other thing - if the OP is still reading, is that it can be flipping hard with a very long wait to get toddlers and young children the help they need via the NHS/LEA, in terms of assessments, speech therapy, 1-1 support, ECHP etc etc so it is best to get that ball rolling.

I'm a childminder and whilst late payments are annoying I certainly would not cancel a contract for 5 days especially as its first payment! I think it is totally unreasonable. I send out reminders if they are 7 days late. I have never cancelled a contract for late payment. I would though if it was a regular occurance and for a larger amount. Check your contract and see if there is anything in there to back up her actions

You don't appear to know much about Autism.

This is very delayed speech. By 2.5 years a child should know between 300-600 words and be able to form short sentences.

My child with autism makes eye contact and is at the top of her class at school. She also is the elected lead of two school clubs. She plans their activities every week and leads the meetings.

she drove child care providers absolutely crazy. Honestly, she nearly drove me absolutely crazy. She required a level of hands on parenting much higher than the average child. She didn’t have the same sense of her surroundings or play the same way other children preferred while at the same time having a ridiculously good memory, advanced speech, and being stubborn as a mule.

autism is not a stereotype and it is not always a bad thing. Often the good outweighs the bad. I am autistic and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

now, i have no idea if your child is on the spectrum, but if your care providers say your child needs an evaluation, there is no harm in getting one.

Wrong thread? And now you've bumped a really old one!

I think yabu for thinking they owe you to look after him
its worrying that two seperate childcare providers have said they can’t care for him and gave raised concerns I think you need to take that seriously
I don’t know what to suggest other than looking for another nursery or a childminder that hasn’t got many kids and no babies perhaps

I would move on from the child minder , she is surely not for you
though I understand where she is coming from if invoice is 5 days overdue , she probably doesn't want to start business in that note
having said that I wouldn't want a child minder like that for my child .

Please go back and read the OP to this thread!!

Read every bit of it and I stand by what I've just posted .
i do understand the childminder point of view but would still not want her for my child even .
if she can terminate a contract then guaranteed she could terminate contract if OP is 5 mins late to pick her son .

Have you actually though? Because this thread is about a child with additional needs posted 10 mo the ago.... nothing to do with an invoice!

This thread isn’t about a late payment though 🤷🏼‍♀️

There's another active thread about a childminder termating the contract before the child even started because the OP didn't pay the initial invoice (issued start if Dec, due start of Jan). That thread (here) has a similar title.

@Mummycool26 accidentally resurrected a zombie thread - possibly having read the other thread but not replied to it then maybe did a search to find it later and found the old one?

Further replies have been a mix of people responding to the OP from March about Autism and various others who think this thread is the other thread.

Has something gone wrong with the ‘watch this thread’ or something? Because I thought I was on the thread where the OP was asking if not paying the childminder was grounds for the childminder not keeping a space for her child too!

Where did this thread come from? I am now very confused.