Childminder terminated contract

[penelopepinkbott]

Started my son (2.5) with a new childminder a few weeks ago. She seems nice and my son went in very happily. We've had an email saying due to his needs the care of other children has been compromised and she needs to terminate our contract. She thinks a nursery would be better with more staff. She has mainly babies and says he has hurt them on more than one occasion.
We did use a nursery for a few month but they also asked us to leave as they couldn't meet his needs. Both CM and nursery suggest we assess for additional needs. CM sent a report shoring the milestones he wasn't meeting, mainly communication and language. I disagree as I know he can do more than he shows them. AIBU to think childcare should care for my child? Can they wash their hands of him?

She can’t meet his needs, it’s not about inclusivity. Why would you want him to stay if she can’t keep him or others safe while he is there?

Surely if two different settings have said they think he has additional needs you would want to get your son assessed so he can receive any support necessary as soon as possible. They’re not in cahoots with each other!

What did you do after you were told you son showed signs of autism? And did you tell the CM before he started?

You may get some good advice on the SEN boards.

If it was just one provider, we could maybe put it down to a bad day/a bad fit/not a suitable setting, etc. But twice strongly suggests there's an issue, I know it's a scary prospect but an assessment really would be the best way forward so that your DS can access appropriate care.

If your son was a baby and your childminder didn’t feel they were safe around an older child then you would very rightly want that to change.

She is one person (perhaps she has other team members but they will be in ratio), she has more then just your son to look after and has to think of all the children’s needs and by doing this she has, she is aware that she is not the most appropriate setting to support your child’s needs and has allowed you to seek some more help and support for him instead of letting it carry on

You sound quite defensive and put out. Which i understand, i mean anything i perceive as negative directed at my LO i get instinctively angry. But sometimes we have to take onboard things we don't want to see/hear or consider as we could inadvertently impact them further down the line.

She can't jeopardise the safety of babies that can not verbalise or defend themselves solely for one child.

There is no harm in seeking out the GP or health visitor to see what she thinks with the issues at nursery. If nothing comes of it then great, you don't need to worry but you have been proactive and done the preventative measures, if there is an issue then you are supporting your child to give them the best chance possible. No harm done either way. But there will be if you do nothing and it transpires there is an issue and they see you have continually ignored advice and never acted on concerns and now your in a trickier territory.

And did you tell the cm this before he started?
Yes I did and she said she was happy to try

I just don't believe he has autism. He makes eye contact and he does understand what I say to him he just doesn't always listen. He likes bluey and recognises him everywhere. He can say at least 10 words. He sleeps well.

Is there a reason you didn't seek assistance/assessment after the nursery had advised you of the reasons they could no longer care for your child? I understand that no one wants these issues to be true but the early advice from professionals can be a blessing and early intervention life changing.

Sounds like my son at that age, my autistic son.

Of course a private business can choose to take on any client / customer they want - or not! I'm unsure what you don't understand about this.

her number one priority is ensuring the safety of all children. If your child is potentially harming other children, she would be an idiot (and negligent) to keep him on.

The CM is providing a mainstream setting, she's not a specialist SEND provision. Of course, she has to protect the other children from harm and if the only way she can do that is by terminating your contract then that's what she will do.

When she is saying things about not following routines and rules she is comparing to other typical 2 year olds-not expecting him to behave like a 10 year old!

It's all very well ranting about the CM and the nursery however you need to take on board what they have told you and look into getting a proper assessment of your child's needs. If he's not SEND then it's behaviour and you'll need some parenting support and advice-if it is SEND then the sooner you get the ball rolling with a diagnosis the better as he may need a specialist primary placement or at least a support plan to start reception with.

Jesus - autistic people aren't all eye contact avoiders! Please put your son's future well-being first and make an appointment with your GP! teachers and educators don't make this stuff up for fun!

I did speak to HV after nursery and she felt a smaller setting might suit better. Nursery said one staff member ended up with him most of the day so I felt a CM might be better.

The trouble is OP you thinking he isn't Autistic won't make him not be autistic, if that is indeed what he is.

You're burying your head very firmly in the sand and your son is the one who is going to suffer for it.

If it was me I would go to see your gp and tell them what both nursery and the cm have said.
Also ask for a hearing check.

And she tried and she now said it wasn't working out. So there's your answer, sorry OP.

She is a private business, not your slave-she can choose who she wants to look after and can give up childminding completely if she wants to.

Now two different settings have told you that they can’t meet the need and think your child has SEN, are you going to seek a referral for further assessment?

Unfortunately a childminder cannot look after him 1:1 all day and their other children. A smaller setting isn't a childminder but rather a smaller nursery. Look up your local council early years send team and contact them for advice about finding a more suitable nursery.

I think that your not unreasonable to not jump straight to autism as it may be a case you have a willful child who needs a little bit of extra support.

However you do need to consider it but if you are adamant he is not then you also need to look at what your doing to make him ready for childcare. That includes how he plays, recognising he needs a nappy change and his language. Childminding isn't supposed to take the place of parenting, it's a stop gap. You child is clearly not ready.

You have been given the gift of early insight by two separate providers, the best thing you could do would be to use the information wisely and seek further advice. It may come to nothing or it may not but knowledge is power.

As hard as it is to hear two different settings with a lot of experience of children his age have highlighted concerns, concerns enough they don’t feel they can meet his needs in the setting.

much better to listen to this now and be able to start moving things forward for school than ignoring concerns and ending up struggling more as he gets older

Hi love. Please call your health visiting team next week, they can do his 2 year development check and put your mind at rest or do referrals/signposting if needed. Take care.

So she tried and it hasn't worked out.

Do you expect her to continue looking after a child who injures babies? What does she say to their parents?

His speech is very behind.

Hey OP

No experience myself but my friend had similar with her 2 yr old at nursery. She felt the nursery were wrong to suggested SEN. Now, nearly 10 yrs later her daughter has had so many issues at school, and is on a never ending wait list for professional services. She says herself I wish I had followed nursery advice and got her assessed back then.