Same boys being chosen for sports

[Dantiger]

Just before Christmas, 8yo DS (year 3) came home a bit sad as his PE teacher had chosen 6 boys from his class to participate in a football tournament. He wasn’t picked but wanted to do it. I told him it was ok and that I’m sure it’ll be his turn for something.

Then in January his school started a cross country team and 4 boys out of the 6 from the football tournament were chosen.

This Tuesday just gone, the year 4’s were having a football tournament. Apparently one of the same boys who got chosen for the year 3 tournament and the cross country team was picked to go with the year 4’s.

DS doesn’t hang around with any of these boys but I remember at sports day last summer they all won the categories.

I just feel with sports all children should have the chance to take part in events. I really don’t think it’s fair that the same boy gets chosen for all of them over and over again.

I probably am BU as it makes DS sad but I do think it’s unfair

IME at this age the boys who are good at one sport seemed to be good at all of them. Or most at least.
Get him into a club for his favourite sport and that may give him something else to be a part of

My eldest son has been chosen for the school football team, running team and is always 1st or 2nd in most races.
My youngest son never, ever gets chosen, but he understands why.
The school are competing against other schools, so they have to choose the fastest kids.

The greater the range of sports, the more chance a child is good at one of them, I think.

An 8 year old is probably too young for darts though, as an example.

Children who are better at sport get picked for teens

It's always been like this since sport was invented

Some are good at maths most are not

Some can spell some can not

Some will go to university some will not

I’d ask the PE teacher what they plan to do to help your son improve

If it’s competitive sports then YABU. My daughter ALWAYS gets chosen for drama and girls football to rep her school - she is a safe bet for the school as she’s pretty good - they know it and will assume she will do well. She never gets chosen for any academic sport tho. My son ONLY gets chosen for football and that’s it. It’s a competition and the school wants to win. Also - how much time does he put into football? Just as a side - my daughter does 8 hours a week at minimum. My son plays 6 hours and then matches on weekend. If he interested - maybe find some after school clubs etc? Good luck Op.

I think it's a bit too much at primary age to be over focused on winning.. which is what they are implying by choosing the most sporty kids for these events. It's a shame for your DS if there aren't any opportunities for him to take part in sport that is just for fun / or includes kids who are keen but not necessarily the best. At my DD's school they do actually make an effort to ensure all the children get to represent the school in some kind of sport or event (even though they also do focus a lot on winning things!) But I like the fact that there is room for the kids who don't normally get picked for teams, to have a go and get to experience tournaments etc..

The PE lead in our primary school relies on news from other teachers regarding children’s aptitude as, because he teaches his own class, he never gets to see them in PE lessons - only in brief (5 weeks x 1hr per week) after school clubs prior to events! The places in these clubs can often be taken by parents who just need an extra hours childcare after school (no criticism, just the way it goes) so some of our sports teams have been awful as the kids weren’t sporty or even interested. It’s soul destroying for the sporty kids to be let down by others not taking it seriously.

Regarding football though, it’s well known that some boys come to football late (secondary school age) and excel so please don’t think it’s all over in Year 3! Some early talents who played from the age of 4 also go off the boil at the same age. It never hurts to encourage sporting activities, whether it’s a team game or ‘you against your PB’ at junior parkrun. You could be helping him find a hobby or interest he will enjoy throughout his life.

Tell that to Luke Littler 😂

But on the original point - I do somewhat agree with OP that at primary school age there should be more effort to include all children that want to be included.
But sadly it's almost a requirement these days that you do some outside school training as you won't get good enough with school lessons alone.

This. The school should be looking at all players during PE lessons and then selecting the best to represent the school. It's a competition. This 'everyone should have a turn' is fine for PE lessons or training sessions but you pick players the best for the team.

This!

If the other boys are better than him at sports, of course they will be picked for the school teams. That's how competitive sport works.

Also, our school buy in ‘blocks’ of PE so there might be a term of Zumba, a term of dance, a term of gymnastics etc - none of which will help the kids in a football tournament or athletics competition 😉

Not all school sport is competitive. The school games offers lots of different opportunities and some are specifically for children who don’t have the opportunity to take part outside of school.

you could ask to speak to your schools pe lead and see if they have anything your DC can get involved in. Also look to see if your school has the school games mark as this would show there ethos around sport

My Foster Son has always been very sporty and consequently been chosen for school/college/county teams. He plays cricket, swam competitively until COVID now he swims just for fitness, competed in Aquathlons, he's doing his black belt in karate, he does Crav Maga too. He often goes for a 5km run around a lake near us and uses our home gym equipment. He's very physically fit. He must have had about a hundred 1-1 cricket training sessions and does 6 hours training for cricket alone every week including with county coaches. He doesn't get picked for orchestra or drama or Art. He doesn't care about that because he knows he's not good at those things. He would be pretty pissed off if he was dropped from his cricket team just so someone who isn't good could 'have a turn'. He's very competitive. I'm sure once your son gets more training over time he will improve and the other boys will pass to him. Do remember though some of the boys being selected will have been practicing outside of school for a few hours each week from 4-5 years old. If your son is only 8 maybe try him doing a few sports to improve his fitness and stamina.

Its really hard. DS is very good at most sports and always gets picked for the main team. School has a policy to let everyone participate who wants to. So out of 15 players they only have a few really good ones. This results in them losing everything, because other schools pick the best of the best. DS was asked to join different teams that arent school based for 2 different clubs and he did and he enjoys it so much more, because he plays with children at his level and instead of losing 10/10 games they win at least half of them if not more. He hs even quit the school teams now, because its too much to do 2 sports in 2 different teams. It was so disheartening to watch them play with the school team before.
DD isnt very sporty even though she really enjoys it as well. She doesnt get picked for good teams. We enrolled her in some clubs that focus on fun over competitiveness.

Have you asked why he doesnt get picked? Maybenifnyou speak to the teacher/trainer they can tell you. If he isnt good enough for the competitive team, then enroll him in after school clubs for fun and more practise.

The PE teacher tho - this is a primary school. They are lucky if they have a designated PE teacher ime tbh.

It’s self fulfilling though, the boys who are always picked, gain confidence and experience, it’s also a bit harsh to write an 8 year old off.

@Dantiger as a PE teacher in a primary school, I can reassure you that unless you tell them "3 passes before you can shoot" they don't pass to anyone 🤣

I am Head of PE, have been for years in both secondary and primary. I keep a spreadsheet of who has been invited to what so that I'm not always choosing the best performing children. Fortunately, my school culture focuses on developing every child rather than bringing home trophies. I want children to enjoy physical activity and hopefully continue keeping active in to adulthood- for some that can be attending a rounders fixture and finding a love for the sport. If they aren't given the opportunity then that seems a shame to me.

Hmmm, I'm always a little on the fence with this.
In OPs sons case,
Do they do extra football club at lunchtime/ after school? If so, does he go?
Does OPs son show interest in football in PE/ club?
Do the teachers know he wants to play and is he encouraged to do so at school. ?
Does the school choose from PE or football club?
I do think that all should get the opportunity to represent their school, regardless, be it A/B-E teams depending on numbers.
At grassroots level at all ages, all who want to play should get the opportunity. Too many teachers/ coaches think they are running a premiership club team!
At school, If all kids have the same opportunities then fine, best go , but the realities are there is never equal opportunity.
IME the sporty kids at primary, are the same kids that are academic, musical, arty, get the roles in plays. I've rarely come across the thick as a brick talented football kid who only shines on a pitch.
Teachers don't necessarily know if they have able kids. and in some cases choose to ignore , not just in sports but music, art etc. as well. Some kids just become invisible. I know from experience as a child and parent.
Its good that OP is going to encourage him to join a club, it will help his confidence even if school isn't going to include him.

I think there is a tendency to overtrain really sporty kids from a young age, so I agree with you Op and the PE teacher above.

If the kids are keen, don't always pick the same ones over and over again for absolutely everything - that's not good or fair on anyone.

The early athletic ones can be on the go all the time, all year round, from a very young age, inside school and out. Sometimes too much for a young developing body. Parents don't realise (just think all sport is great - confess we fell into this category!) and coaches are not across the range of all the activities kids are participating in - so some kids just don't get a down season (football is spectacularly bad for this, during the 5 or 6 weeks between seasons, yet more friendlies & training etc I often wonder if there is a hidden statistic of kids who didn't get to progress with their sport for life because of too much, too soon)

IME the sporty kids at primary, are the same kids that are academic, musical, arty, get the roles in plays. I've rarely come across the thick as a brick talented football kid who only shines on a pitch.

Oooh @tracktrail not sure if you are a teacher but I have certainly seen pupils at primary and also at secondary who are sporty and that is their strength. Thinking of a mate of DS2's who was not great at reading or writing but give him a chance to run! Wouldn't say he was thick as a brick tho! i've known lots of students, lads especially, whose chance to really shine came in sport.

We can probably all name that kid from our kid's schools and even our own.
The one that was picked for every sports team, lead role, school counsellor, science presentation...etc.

I think this is where my loathing of "child of the year" awards comes from.

These kids are always good looking too 😆

However, I don't think that describes every child chosen for the school teams. I can actually think of a few footballers from dc's class where sport really was the one area they shone in so nobody would really begrudge them that.