Yes this! @Sweetcherrypiee I would look at my DH in a different light if he said this about his SIL who he had known for virtually 40 years. FFS it's not like his brother was only with her for 2 years. I know she isn't his wife, but to dismiss her and discard her in this fashion is awful. Basically though, it's because he's a man. Some men won't even stay and take care of their own wife if she becomes very ill!
It's a well documented fact that women will stay in a marriage - even if it's not a great marriage - and nurture and care for her husband if he becomes ill and unable to look after himself. But conversely when the tables are turned and it's the woman who gets ill, a man is much more likely to leave - even if the marriage is OK.
Basically, men are inherently selfish and self centred, and also lazy. It's how they're brought up. Their mummy treats them like the special little Prince they are, and waits on them hand and foot, and they never have to lift a finger in the house. Whilst the daughters get chores dished out to them, and are raised to be people-pleasers, and to be caring and to #bekind. They are also expected to be the main carers for elderly and/or infirm family members.
I had a great aunt some years ago who lived alone after the death of my great uncle (grandad's brother,) and had done for 7 years. I used to visit her once a month and take her cakes and takeout coffees and mcdonalds etc, and spend all day with her, sometimes with my kids, sometimes not. Her 2 sons who were some 15 years older than me visited twice a year. The week before Christmas (and her birthday was 21st December, so they could kill 2 birds with one stone,) and Mothers Day. No visit from March to December. They lived 35-40 miles away. I lived 30 miles away!
When she became quite ill and needed a major op, I was the only one to visit her. I visited 3 times a week for the 3 weeks she was in there. Oh a couple of her neighbours visited 3 or 4 times over the 3 weeks, but not ONE visit from her sons. Guess who the hospital expected to look after her, take her into their home, and care for her for up to 2-3 months? Yep me. Her 2 sons had no children. One was married and one was single. They both lived in 3 bed homes. They could easily have taken her in. I lived with DH and my 2 DC in a small 2-bed semi at the time. I also worked 3 full days a week.
I said to the nurse, 'there's no way I can take her in. I work 3 days a week, my husband works full time, and I have 2 small junior age children, all in a 2 bed house.' The nurse frowned at me like she was disappointed in me. I said 'she has 2 grown sons in their late 40s, what about them? ' She said 'they are far too busy, and have very important jobs, and they're men for goodness sake. I am shocked that you're refusing.' I said 'I am refusing because I can't do it.'
tl;dr, said great aunt then ghosted me. Put the phone down on me when I rang her, and disinherited me from her will. The 2 golden boy sons who visited her TWO times a year, and did fuckall for her got the lot. Her £350K home, and around £300K in cash, (I don't care. I didn't need her money, or want it.) With all that dosh I don't understand why she couldn't have employed a carer/nurse for a few weeks.
2 neighbours ended up looking after her by the way. Both women obviously.