To not want to share a bed even if it is a significant birthday?

[KeiraKnightley2]

My dad had a big birthday coming up and he wants to stay in this plush country estate house for it for 2 nights with my mum and my sister.

Originally I hoped my partner would come but now he's away with work and my dad wants me to share a bedroom with my sister (because of the expense no doubt).

The thing is she snores like a train and this sounds like my idea of hell. But it's what he wants us to do. Would you suck it up?

I really can’t believe all the drama over something so ludicrous and folks arguing. All she has to do is buy some bloody earplugs nd wear them for a couple of nights.

You shouldn’t be sharing a bed, most smart hotels will have a twin, or have the ability to make a room a twin. I’d just make sure that was requested at booking and then phone up myself again to check.

get some ear plugs and let your dad enjoy his break

You're being selfish....it's only two nights and is important to your dad. You'll manage

Well there's enough opposing viewpoints on the thread to show you that either opinion could be accepted or ridiculed, @KeiraKnightley2

Looks like you're going to have take responsibility for ensuring that your needs are met without putting anyone out too much.

Thing is presumably this is also meant to be a family treat. It's not much of a treat if OP is sleep deprived and grumpy as a result, although I can see why the DF doesn't want to fork out another £360.

Are you coming back OP? What have you decided?

Is it a bed or bedroom you're sharing? Your title and post say different things.

@rookiemere I haven't decided.

I know my dad could afford all the rooms but he's historically quite tight with money. So even this treat is being 'diluted' by having to share.

Either

1. I'm going to suck it up by using sleeping pills, ear plugs and/or bring drunk. Also checking for twin beds

2. explain I can't put myself through that even for 2 nights and suggest alternatives

Obviously if he has his heart set on the place then my alternatives probably won't be as well received

I have misphonia and am yet to find ear plugs that do the job.

@KeiraKnightley2 how about the option of paying for another room and you and Dsis splitting the cost ?
It would still be £180 each but such a genuine treat to have your own room at a luxury hotel.

I’d just suck it up for the sake of 2 nights. Ask for twin beds if available or I’d offer to pay the extra for a separate room

It's an idea @rookiemere 🙂 option 3.

I'll have a think anf make a decision tomorrow

This talk of him being 'tight' and 'diluting the gift' and saying 'no doubt because of the cost' is coming off so grabby and entitled. Not a good look OP. £360 is a lot of money.

Bloody hell.

let thr three of them go without you op. At least there won’t be any complaining and they can habe a lovely time and spoil your dad.

I mean planning to get pissed up, complaining he’s tight and your treat is being diluted is appalling behaviour. I’m cringing for you.

so grabby

Do you even like your dad?

I wondered that. As it seems it’s about what she can get.

im appalled at this statement “I know my dad could afford all the rooms but he's historically quite tight with money. So even this treat is being 'diluted' by having to share” . So unless the op is too young to be on here, which is feasible, then I can’t imagine a grown adult behaving like this.

I am not sure I'd be grateful for a treat I won't enjoy or have to pay £700 myself to enjoy fully.

Hardly grabby to ask for a room of one's one? Many medical conditions would mean one needed your own bathroom say. Even a suite with separate lounge area would work.

You do understand it’s her fathers birthday not the ops?

Yes I get that it's his birthday.

But everyone is saying she should be grateful for this treat.

I'd just go for the day time (though I assume that rules out drinking and assume the dad is funding a fancy meal) -and if May be miles away anyway.

My dad wouldn't do this. Either 3 rooms or he takes mum to fancy place and we all go together to something we cab all enjoy.

I have organised weekends away with family and I take into account sleeping preferences-parents have separate rooms usually so try for that unless they say happy to share and we can get them a twin bed. I do not tell them to suck it up and be grateful!

I don't understand why people seem to think it's necessary to put up with something you find really uncomfortable, just because it's someone's birthday. One person finding comfort doesn't involve wrecking another person's special occasion. The daughters sleeping together isn't something he needs to happen, in order to enjoy his birthday.

Can you join them for the day, OP? I know you say there's no other local accommodation, but there must be something within 20 miles or so, so you could join them for 2 days, but not the night in between?

If your dad has absolutely no respect for the fact that you don't want to sleep in a room you won't be able to sleep in, I'd be struggling to respect making his stay utterly perfect, really. I know it's his birthday, but does he really think that that means that everybody else should just shut up about their feelings, and do what he wants? How old is he going to be, 14?

It’s not just someone’s birthday, it’s her father’s birthday and a big one at that. It’s not the bloke down the chip shops. And she can wear ear plugs and ask for a twin. And yes I think he likely will be disappointed if she doesn’t stay.

but I think she should stay away and let them go and have fun. No one needs someone whining or feeling it’s her treat, or getting drunk.

I don't think OP is helping herself by calling her DF tight by not wanting to spring for another £350 room, but I can see where she is coming from.

DF intends this as a treat for his family, but from OPs pov sleeping beside her Dsis snoring like an ox it is the exact opposite. I'd struggle to appear grateful and appreciative for something that left me sleep deprived.

DF intends this as a treat for his family

Then he ought to take notice of whether they want it or not. My dad thought it was a treat to buy my mum an ironing board for Christmas. Being bought something you really don't want, by someone who won't listen to what you do want, isn't a treat.

And she can wear ear plugs and ask for a twin. And yes I think he likely will be disappointed if she doesn’t stay

She wouldn't be comfortable with this. Would you want someone you love to put up with something they were really uncomfortable with, for your birthday? If so, why? Because it's your special day and nobody else's feelings matter? He is the one who seems spoilt. Other people have to do things that they're uncomfortable with, simply to accommodate his whims. A spoilt attitude isn't demonstrated by who has spent the most money. It's demonstrated by how uncomfortable you feel entitled to make others, in pursuit of your own wants (not needs).

@KeiraKnightley2 How uncomfortable do you want your dad to be, out of 10, with the solution to this problem. It seems he is happy with you being 10/10 uncomfortable, if I've understood right?

I would suck it up - ask her to wear anti-snore strips, you have earplugs, take a sleeping bag and yoga mat incase you end up in the car or bathroom. Failing that I’d pay for myself to get a separate room.

For a couple of nights I’d do it (using alcohol and or ear plugs etc) for my fathers birthday (sadly mine is no longer around) or I’d quietlypay the additional cost for an extra room.

I imagine if this was dad wanting to visit say Dunkirk to relive his war years then most would suck up a bad nights sleep for 2 nights.

But this sounds more like a countryside uk hotel where dad could pick something else all would enjoy more.