To not want to share a bed even if it is a significant birthday?

[KeiraKnightley2]

My dad had a big birthday coming up and he wants to stay in this plush country estate house for it for 2 nights with my mum and my sister.

Originally I hoped my partner would come but now he's away with work and my dad wants me to share a bedroom with my sister (because of the expense no doubt).

The thing is she snores like a train and this sounds like my idea of hell. But it's what he wants us to do. Would you suck it up?

I'd bring a blow up mattress and electric pump.
Or ear plugs. Or seep in the sitting room....

Or pay for an upgrade with your sister as a birthday present for your dad?

I'd basically try making it happen, and think about various solutions for myself other than sharing a bed with a snoring sister.

Can't you try?

Wouldn’t bother me at all, if you’re bothered you could pay for another room or take an air bed and / or ear plugs

I would 100% do this without hesitation. I can't imagine a scenario where I didn't suck up this very minor inconvenience for my father's birthday. But I've often found the MN consensus to be that nobody should ever put themselves out, even for close family...

@Isittimeformynapyet

Between paying for 2 rooms and 3?

I wouldn't find it a minor inconvenience. There are very few people I'll share a room with. If I don't sleep I'm hopeless - sounds like the OP is the same. Not sleeping is major for some of us.

I'd pay for my own room, but quietly seethe that my sister is being paid for and she's the one who snores.

Family, eh.

Yep. Got it 🫢

I couldn't share a room with someone who snores badly. I'd rather go and sleep in the car than lie awake listening to someone snoring all night.
If there was really no way around it (separate rooms/sleep in the lounge/car) then I wouldn't go.
Can you go for the day/evening of the birthday then drive home?

I don't think any adult should be expected to share a bed with someone they're not in a relationship with. Especially as this seems to be a very expensive trip you're being 'treated' to... but one where you are going to feel uncomfortable and unable to sleep.
He'd be better off paying for somewhere cheaper where you can have your own room.

Well I'd pay for my own room

It's not a minor inconvenience, I go nowhere without my own room as I literally wouldn't sleep a wink

I'd pay for my own room. Some people are deep sleepers and can cope with a snorer. I cannot. I'm a very light sleeper and need silence to sleep. I'm sure posters will come around and tell me to get over it, but 2 nights with a snorer is my idea of hell. At the age of 35 I have earned the right to have my own room.

If however your dad is paying and you can't afford it, then just say no.

Do it with earplugs, or offer to pay for a separate room, perhaps?

There’s always one 🙄

The father is abusive now for paying for his family to stay in a plush country house for his birthday. Sigh.

I wouldn't. You'll be miserable from lack of sleep and tense from the resentment. It would be a waste of money for you to go and have such a terrible time.

If you want your own room then pay for it. If you can't afford your own room then thank your father and suck it up. Or don't go.

No way, there is a snorer in my family and I had one night in the same room before and never again. I am terrible on little sleep, it just ruins the day for me.

The only alternative is for your sister to stay 1 night and you the next or vice versa - obvs not the same but a compromise.

I don’t you’re unreasonable, I couldn’t share with someone who snores either!

It's not completely clear. Are you sharing a bed or a bedroom

No I couldn’t share a bed with my sister, snoring or not. If there is a living space and an airbed is possible then doable but just nope. I don’t think people who don’t not share with a snorer think, and 2 nights with no sleep is soul destroying.

I hate this, my sister and I are both single and it's always assumed that we'll share. I said absolutely not last time. No one ever asks my brothers to share.

For a parents big birthday? Yes I would suck it up.

Who would have paid if your partner was coming?

Not for any consideration in the world would I share a room with anyone other than my DW.

Id do it. And if I really didnt get any sleep the first night, I'd decamp to the settee for the second

It's totally ok to say that you won't share a room with your sister because she snores like a train and you simply won't do it. Say it out loud and make it clear why you won't do it. If you don't want to spend the money to stay close by (which you shouldn't have to do) then say sorry, but I'm not coming. They can guilt trip you all they want.