Boss wouldn't let my mum go to gym

[EmsHugs]

So my sister is a live in nanny to a very wealthy family. She has done this for over a year and loves it. The family treat her well, pay her well and she has her own 2 bed cottage on their estate. My mum went to stay with my sister this week and the shit hit the fan over my sister's boss not letting my mum use her gym and pool on Mother's day. My sister and I both think my mum is being utterly unreasonable in her reaction but would love to know others thoughts.

Background. My sister works in a very rural area. Her employers are more than happy for her to have people to stay with her but just ask that she lets them know in advance. My sister stays here rent and bill free as part of her package. Being Mother's day weekend, she had the weekend off and my mum chose to go visit. It is a very rural location so my sister's boss asked what food she would like for her and my mum (a weekly food order also paid for by employer). She also gave my sister a bottle of champagne to enjoy with my mum. Essentially my sister's boss also paid for mum's food for weekend. Anyway while my sister is free to wander around the private gardens, gym, swimming pool etc and use as she wants on her time off, Her boss has said when she has guests to stay she prefers to agree a time for my sister and her guest to use the gym/pool for both her privacy and my sister and guest. This seems to have been fine and the arrangement worked on the Saturday but on the Sunday my sister's boss asked my sister not to use either the gym or pool, sauna and to not come across to the house as she wanted the place to her and the family. My sister was fine with this but my mum seems to have hit the roof, as she was looking forward to a swim and sauna. She apparently kept badgering my sister to text her boss to arrange a time as she didn't think she would be using it all day and it was unfair to change the agreed plan last minute. When my sister refused she threw a strop. Her boss later text her and said that she was sorry she couldn't accommodate my mum but her own parents were visiting and she wanted it to be free all day because she didn't know when her mum and dad would be using it. It turns out my mum had just gone straight to the house and asked. My sister had a go at my mum, as she said her emplyer was already being nice letting her nad mum use her facilities but mum did not see it that way in the slightest. My mum is now telling my sister she is a mug and is being really horrible about the family she works for and that my sister is pathetic for being such a walkover and letting another adult dictate her life.
She phoned me thinking I would take her side but personally I feel my sister's boss is very generous to my sister and was very accommodating to my sister's guest.

Would be curious to know what others think.

I think your sisters boss has been very reasonable. It can make you always on edge when you have people in your home and you don't know when they're going to pop up in shared spaces, so asking for one day with her family using the space is fine.

Your mum is being silly and is probably digging in because your sisters boss was reasonable in her response as well

Jesus Christ, your mum is a total dick, I actually gasped when I read she’d done that.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if your sister was let go over the next few weeks, this is a massive and unacceptable overstepping of boundaries.

What an odd post. My mother wouldn’t have needed a swim and a sauna to enjoy her Mother’s Day with me. We loved each others company so would have been perfectly happy to have just spent the day together without ‘doing’ anything specific.

If I was your sister I was be so annoyed, embarrassed, pissed off!

I'm glad her boss understood, but under absolutely no circumstances would I ever invite my mum to stay again. EVER

Wowwwww.
If your sister has any sense she'll never have her visit there again.
The employer is more than generous, those privelages are based on trust, and can just as easily be withdrawn

But did you spend it at a property that had access to a pool/sauna/gym ???

I would assume the purpose of the trip was to see the place as much as to spend time together & maybe spending time together somewhere else if the arrangement has always been "when the familys not using it" & the family was using it on holidays

Clearly wasnt the plan though if the mum went knocking on the bosses door for access to the pool/sauna & the sister wasnt around to stop her

Sister shouldn't invite mother again. This might cause fireworks but otherwise your sister will be putting her job at risk.

Jk8 is just on a wind-up.

Your mum is a loon and unreasonable.

but your post is very identifying to both the family and anyone who is a friend of theirs or has kids at school with their kids : nanny has cottage on estate and spent Christmas at whistler. Two data points that narrows it down quite a lot : you’ve disclosed a lot about your mother that your sister might not like her employer to know.

Your mum is being unreasonable but perhaps if she wanted to go that badly you and your sister could have arranged a spa afternoon for her to replace it when you knew she was disappointed. You know, at an actual place that offers it and not just some random privately owned house.

Perhaps the plan was just to spend time with each other - I don't think you have to include a spa visit unless the Mothers day rules have been updated?

Oh dear god, I am cringing to the soles of my feet for your mum. She actually went up to the house, on mothers day and asked to use the facilities - how utterly mortifying. Your poor sister...

She would never ever stay with me again if I was your sister.

Oh gosh your mum has behaved really badly, your poor sister!

Anyway luckily it seems that the employer was really nice about it and did her best to reassure your sister so no harm done.

It sounds like it's tough for your mum seeing her daughter so impressed with the lifestyle she gets access to with this family and she's acting out like a spoilt brat. I'm not excusing her but trying to understand where she's coming from.

If I was your sister I wouldn't bring it up again but likewise I wouldn't invite her again. Her behaviour was totally out of order.

Hm, DS1 invited me round for lunch, gave me a bottle of booze and a box of chocolates and we watched a film on Netflix. I should probably tear him off a strip for not booking me a cottage in the country with sauna and swimming pool. Missing a trick here.

Your mum is bang out of order and she needs to apologise to your sister. Wow. Just wow.

That’s a bit different, the cottage is OP’s sister’s home, so no booking required. For the cottage that is.

OMG - Your Mum is a CF here. No question. I hope your sister has been able to apologise to her boss and it hasn't caused a major problem between your sister and her employer

I also think that your sister should tell your Mum that because she went as far as going to the owner's house, it will not be possible for Mum to stay with your sister again, at least for the foreseeable future, because her job could have been put on the line

Yes indeed 😂😂Most of us have got the wrong idea, clearly 😂😂

I'm appauled your Mum would behave this way.
Your sisters employers sound a dream to work for and clearly respect and appreciate your sister.The way they treat her and the perks clearly indicate this.

I'm in my 60's with 2 daughters and I would never put either in this position.
This is your sisters livelihood and I'm genuinely appalled your Mum would embarrass her and put your sisters job at risk with her shameful behaviour!

Show her this thread!

Disgraceful behaviour.
She was not staying in a hotel.

CF??

Your mother's behaviour was absolutely appalling. Your sister needs to reassure her employer that the mother will never come again.

To spend time with her mother? At the place where she lives?

Huh?? Why would you assume this? The daughter invited her mum to the place she lives which is the cottage. She didn’t invite her to her employers private residence.

Your Mum is just awful.
If I were your sister she would never be invited back again.

This!!!